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Original poster

How would your husband react to this way of attempting intimacy?

88 replies

Klarr · 11/08/2025 20:19

Dh, kids and I are on holiday with my sister, her husband and children. It’s been lovely. Villa abroad. The kids occupy themselves and the adults get to lounge around the pool/play tennis/take it in turns to go out and about. No one is stressed as it’s pretty easy and relaxed.

Anyway, today I saw DH being really great with the kids - he just sorted everyone out today with breakfast and making sure the kids had all the stuff they needed for today’s big activity. We were ahead of schedule and just milling around.

I was just wanting to show my dh some affection if you know what I mean. So to get a bit of privacy in the bedroom I told dh his mum (who lives abroad to us all) was FaceTimeing on the kids tablet in our room and I couldn’t bring it to him as it was low battery and needing charging. Anyway, he got really annoyed and rejected me when he found out I was making the phone call up and just trying to get a few mins with him alone. Am I crazy that most men would not care AT ALL that I white lied in this scenario.

We moved past it but I just feel really rejected

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LaDamaDeElche · 14/08/2025 09:30

BrassOlive · 11/08/2025 20:37

So you got horny watching your DH with the kids and thought you'd lure him into sex with talk of his mother? Hmmm..

😂

InterestedDad37 · 13/08/2025 23:10

Biskieboo · 13/08/2025 20:36

But are you absolutely sure it was the fact that you white lied that led to him being not interested, though, or was it the fact that your ruse involved bringing his mother to mind? As a general rule it's best to keep direct blood relations out of all matters carnal - even in (most of) Lincolnshire that sort of thing is frowned upon these days.

Show quote history

"... most of Lincolnshire..."
😂😂😂

Horses7 · 13/08/2025 22:39

Yes - it’s the Mum link that he couldn’t get past !

saffy2 · 13/08/2025 22:36

Klarr · 11/08/2025 20:41

I wouldn’t necessarily refer to it as luring. If dh has said I’m not in the mood that’s fine but to take exception with the white lie was a bit odd.

i tried making eye contact with dh and directing his eyes upstairs but he just didn’t pick up on it.

Edited

Why not just say, I’ll meet you upstairs in a mo.

TheMAFSfan · 13/08/2025 22:21

Maybe he’d already done it himself 🤷‍♀️

Biskieboo · 13/08/2025 20:36

Klarr · 12/08/2025 10:54

I’m certainly not saying “he is a man, I offered sex therefore he is obliged to reciprocate”. Not at all. I will turn down DH when I’m not in the mood. He is entitled to do the same.

I just thought him not being interested on account of a white lie was a little weird

But are you absolutely sure it was the fact that you white lied that led to him being not interested, though, or was it the fact that your ruse involved bringing his mother to mind? As a general rule it's best to keep direct blood relations out of all matters carnal - even in (most of) Lincolnshire that sort of thing is frowned upon these days.

Daboomboom · 13/08/2025 20:08

Thats a bit of a weird rouse. 🤣 It would have confused my husband. He would have got over it quickly though!

SkylarFalls · 13/08/2025 19:59

Like he wouldn't get it

Mainly cause it's such an unlikely and weird premise for meet me upstairs for sex.

He would probably keep saying things like "but won't my mum hear if she's on a call here?, don't we have to say good bye and end the call?

And I would probably end up shouting (not aggressively) THERES NO CALL! NO. CALL. NO MUM! NO CALL!

he would be so confused

JayJayj · 13/08/2025 19:57

I wouldn’t have started to try and have sex with my husband by talking about his mother!

There are so many ways in which you could have got his attention to what you wanted without the fake call.

Also maybe he wasn’t in the mood?

SkylarFalls · 13/08/2025 19:55

Notmyreality · 11/08/2025 20:50

Honey..your mums on the phone..wink wink😉😉😉

yeah, bit weird.

Show quote history

That

He would be so confused and by the time I explained again "NO NOT YOU MUM, SEX! WITH ME!" we woulda both shriveled and dried up!

CrystalMighty · 13/08/2025 19:52

mintydoggyv · 13/08/2025 19:32

He is going of you yep not good

Projecting much?!

mintydoggyv · 13/08/2025 19:32

He is going of you yep not good

Onceisenoughta · 13/08/2025 19:30

Imagine the scene - he's psyched up to talk 'live' to his mum & then gets jumped 😁 the two are opposite ends of the scale. He's thinking about his mum & you want a shag 😁😁

Maninpeace · 13/08/2025 19:16

I’d have been on you before you’d finished your sentence if I’m being perfectly truthful.

Athreedoorwardrobe · 13/08/2025 18:59

I'd find that really odd and pressured if my DH did that to me tbf..
It's just a bit underhand. I mean it's not a massive deal but I'd wonder why he felt the need to lie and how often he was doing that to get what he wanted in general.
It would be a mood killer for me.
What's wrong with just saying 'can we spend some time alone together?'

EveSix · 13/08/2025 18:57

I feel like I'm missing something. Did you actually feel horny yourself or were you going to offer sex as a reward to show appreciation for his feats in dad-mode?

HangryLikeTheHulk · 13/08/2025 18:57

“I need your cock, now”

vs

”Your mother is on the phone”

Which one gets the guy ?

Catsandcannedbeans · 13/08/2025 18:46

I’d never mention MIL before getting freaky if I’m honest… but since we have young children he would probs still jump at the chance.

soupyspoon · 13/08/2025 18:34

QuickFawn · 11/08/2025 20:24

Probably killed the mood a bit with all the talk of his mum 😂

Exactly this, what a bloody turn off!!

A horrible combination of

  • talk of mother
  • something to do with the kids
  • technology not working, having to fix something
Excellent precursor to sex.
Cranberryavocado · 13/08/2025 18:32

I think its a weird way to do it. It kind of kills the mood thinking you are just about to speak to your mum then suddenly it turns out to be that you are going to be having sex 😂 wouldnt like this tactic used on me. I would have gone for a suttle whisper in the ear, or a cheeky text, or saying please can you come and check something for me with a wink.. not the mum thing😂it would put me in the wrong mood entirely.

Jumpers4goalposts · 13/08/2025 18:14

What a weird thing to do, why would you involve his mother? It’s enough to turn anyone off.

chatgptsbestmate · 13/08/2025 18:14

I wouldn't call it spontaneous

I'd call involving his mother in a 'let's have sex' chat, REALLY weird

Patchworkted · 13/08/2025 18:03

If my mum called while we were on holiday I'd be expecting bad news, so I'd be recovering from a fright.

I can't think why you didn't just say why you wanted him in the bedroom, even if you used a euphemism.

SprayWhiteDung · 12/08/2025 13:45

That was so weird. Even if his DM had been FaceTiming the kids, wouldn't he have wanted to say hello to her at the same time? Or if she speaks to the kids and then says (knowing you were expecting her to call then) "Can you just put your Dad/Mum on for a minute - I need to ask him/her something quickly?" - and then the kids come banging on your door whilst you're mid-tumble?!

I really don't think it's respectful or helpful to anybody to just treat men as ever-up-for-it randy rabbits and just deceive them into the promise/possibility of sex (which I understand they obviously can fully choose whether or not to agree to).

If you want to engage in a bit of role-play, absolutely great; but you both need to be in on it.

I still don't see why the need for a ruse pointlessly involving his mother. You didn't have to issue him with a written invitation proposing a session of sexual intercourse; you could very easily have just winked at him and said "I could do with some... help with something... in the bedroom..." and let him respond knowing the score, without the need for any weird mum-based seduction themes <boak>.

Starlight1984 · 12/08/2025 12:07

Yeah I mean DH would never turn down the opportunity of a quickie (neither would I!) but if we were in a villa with a load of adults and kids "milling around" then he'd probably (and quite rightly) think it was a bit inappropriate!