To struggle with teens on holiday.

Not got a teenager (yet - he’s 3mo haha) but I went on a 2 week holiday with my parents when I was 14 and I was miserable. Then ridiculous reason why I was so miserable was because I missed my boyfriend and friends hahah absolutely ridiculous looking back. My parents very kindly left me to wallow - which I appreciated at the time (I just wanted to be alone haha) and as an adult now fair play to them - why should I have ruined their holiday?! Maybe your teen is missing the social of home?

God this thread has given me hope. Hopefully it’s just a phase and my pre-teen will grow out of it. He’s never happy unless he has his friends around.

14 and 15 yr olds are hard work. Just a stage. It will pass.

I hated holidays with my parents as a teen. Stopped going when I was 14. No regrets. Thought I didn’t like holidays but rediscovered them at 30. The thought of going on holiday with my parents now makes me shudder. It’s part of separation.

OP how old is he? Can he get a flight home on his own? I couldn’t stand 11 more days of that!

Yes, just come back from one of these holidays! That the teen had partly planned as well. We just left them in the hotel and went off to do our own thing. Like you I am planning holidays without them in a few year's time.

Didn't take the kids on holiday with us after they turned 14. We left them with grandparents. It meant they could still see their friends and we could still have a great holiday without their constant moaning and whinging!

Sometimes they're happy doing some mundane things - my youngest loved watching dvds, in a lovely villa in Portugal! What were they looking forward to when they helped to plan? Ours liked adventurous stuff - climbing, ropes courses so we made sure to do those ( well husband did!). Then they would tolerate the things we wanted to do. Mainly based around them though. It's different now they're grown up, we can do what we like, eat where we like etc.....😄

I think you need to set a boundary here op. Fair enough if your teen doesn’t like what is on offer and is not enjoying themselves but you need to have a word about spoiling it for everyone else!

Point out that you and your dh have worked hard to pay for this time away and it’s selfish of them to moan constantly.

I hope you are not indulging the food thing! I’d be pointing out that they are very lucky to have food provided for them and a family to eat with. I’d maybe compromise on a couple of evenings.

Also, have a word with them about adjusting their mindset overall and making the best of a situation. Get them to look up some local activities and organise a picnic or a bike ride or something they fancy doing and you will join them,

And let them know that going on a holiday they don’t like is hardly a hardship; it’s not like having to work down a mine for two weeks! They are safe, well, and fed, and holiday is the time to try out new things. Tell them that you expect them to show a bit of initiative! Try a bit of humour on them to get your point across.

Other than that, I would step back and let them find their feet and ignore the moaning and either leave them at home next year, (under supervision so you don’t come home to the aftermath of a teenage party) or rent a villa and bicycles near the beach another time so they can come and go as they want. Enjoy your holiday!

Sounds ideal!

For those not at teen stage yet, it isn’t always like this with teens. We are just back from an amazing USA holiday with my 15 year DD. We spent the whole time as a family, gossiping, enjoying the food etc. she is one of my favourite people and loves holidaying with us.
we make sure we do things that everyone enjoys though….and thankfully I dint enjoy culture either and we all love beaching and eating!
id be heartbroken if she was as described in some of these posts.

I don’t think my kids would have enjoyed 2 weeks in the same resort as teens either. At that age we used to do more combination trips where we spent 4-5 days in a city and then did a beach resort for 4-5 days. Or we did a week of sailing or a week of skiing. Even as a 47 year old I find it really boring to be in a hotel for 2 weeks straight, but it could be quite nice when the kids were much younger.

I have enjoyed mine in the sun this year but feel your pain as have been there in the past

This time DS17 had girlfriend with him in our apartment with shared pool that we only seemed to use and weirdly they joined us quite a few times for breakfast or dinner and drinks, more than I expected and it was truly lovely

When you get home, cancel their phone contract and any other 'extras' that you pay out for (gym memberships, clubs etc). They can pay it themself if they are so big and smart.
Nobody has the right to treat you like dirt OP.

What have you said to DC? Mine would have heard, ‘pack the back chat/lip/ sarcasm/moaning in right now, or I’m cancelling your phone contract.’

No way would DH and I stand for this. Many DC don’t get a holiday. I won’t tolerate ingratitude and general bad behaviour from mine - especially not on holiday.

I can kind of relate. We went in holidays with our terns this summer and the first few days they were moaning about what we did. We told them to Google and if there was something they wanted to do we’d look if it was possible. One of them found rafting and we booked it. They loved it.
you need to give them some autonomy, but also be clear that they’re ruining everyone’s holiday if they only moan about stuff. So they need to quit that. Get them to find something in the area they’d like and do your best to arrange it, even if it’s something you’re not keen on. Teach them everyone gets to choose something but everyone also has to allow the rest to enjoy their activities and not spoil it by complaining. They either come along on your chosen activities or they don’t but they stop complaining.

This stage passes. I remember my 16 year old stayed in apartment in ltaly watching plane crashes on TV as it was the only English speaking station. We still had to fly home!! Now he is asking me can we all go somewhere together. Can his gf come? He is the one spear heading it. Don't panic! Just enjoy your own holiday and if he does join you for dinner/ outing don't be tempted to rub it in or make comments. Just accept it and enjoy the moment..although l recognise that is difficult.

@Zeemazee

your child will regret in later years the holiday they could have enjoyed x

I mean - no, they won't. But you're right that they shouldn't be forced to go, even though you'll never get the chance to say 'I told you so'.

I've had similar with my teens. You just need to let it go over your head and get on with enjoying your holiday.

Ungrateful little sod, I’d be furious. Mine is nothing like that. I’d be going without them next time and leaving them with relatives.

I went with just my 16 year old daughter last week. Before we went I made it clear that it was a holiday for both of us and it was ok if we didn’t want to do everything together 24-7 as she likes a lay in and I’m an early bird. In the end it was fine- she was happier when there were other teenagers around to chat to and was a bit grumpy on the boat trip we did as there was no one else her age and I did pull her up on her attitude with that. (How could I possibly know who else was booked on??). We agreed on and booked some trips but on the quieter days I just said, I’m going to do XYZ, do you want to come and she said yes/no and I didn’t get offended either way. 9 times out of 10 she came along or I went along with what she was doing. I wouldn’t take any attitude so that needs nipping in the bud but otherwise just explain that she’s welcome to join in with anything but you’re not all going to sit around waiting for her to cheer up. If you spot any other families with teens, buddy up and hope for the best- holidays get so much easier when they find a friend to hang out with.

Glad it’s not just me, just back from AI waterpark holiday with my 17 and 14 year old, omg! I need a holiday to recover. They never want to do anything you want to do, or want to stay out late when you don’t every single night. Repeatedly bored and generally unappreciative! Next time we will try a villa holiday with pool and days out so people can come or not come and there will be space to be on your own for 5 minutes 😂

Just back from ours - me and 3 pre teens. Def diff vibe to last year due to them wanting time on the devices , but was still fun. When they wanted to be staring at screens in the cool inside after lunch, I left them to it and went down to the pool. Within 30 mins they had usually followed! On the beach I just watched or went in the waves. They quickly went it too - each doing their own thing. I found yhe key this time was to jyst let do their thing (safely and within reason) and just do my own nice thing. So - had enough of pool? That’s fine - head up to apartment and chill, I’ll stay down here. Want to stay longer in the sea? Ok, I’ll be reading my book under my parasol on the beach. Refusing to get dressed (to go out for dinner). No probs, I’ll take a nice long shower, do my hair and chill with a drink on the terrace. Just let me know when you’re ready!!… relax and expect nothing off them and it’ll be grand!! Xxx

Hopefully its just a phase. My 18 yo has always been pretty good. This year we had a couple of city breaks and its been great. He is off to uni next month but says he will keep coming with me so long as I keep paying 😀

This. Currently on a holiday with a teen. Never again. Has head in book all day. Not interested in anything.