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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annoyed that husband is leaving me and toddler with crappy car

40 replies

Bitesize89 · 11/08/2025 13:01

My DH is going away for a lads weekend 5 hour drive away this weekend. We have two cars but one of them is very old and has had issues in the past and we just got a new car recently. He told me this morning btw I'm going to take the new car this weekend I'm a bit annoyed as I'll be alone with a three year old all weekend I'm not from the UK and don't have any family around and only one close friend with a car. If something were too happen or I need the car to do activities around town I would rather have the reliable car as id be stuck with a three year old. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable though?

OP posts:
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Londonrach1 · 11/08/2025 17:13

Yabu. Surely the one travelling 5 hours gets the better car!

Arlanymor · 11/08/2025 17:06

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/08/2025 15:19

How bad is the crappy car? Is it roadworthy?

I’d be annoyed that he announced “I’m taking” the good car rather than opening up a discussion. Even if he’s got good reason, he’s got to discuss with the other owner of the car.

I can see why you wouldn’t want to use an unsafe car with a toddler but can you do everything you want to without a car?

If it’s unsafe then no one should be using it. Big difference between unreliable and unsafe…

Sunaquarius · 11/08/2025 15:21

How unreliable is this car? Can you specify what's actually wrong with it?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/08/2025 15:19

How bad is the crappy car? Is it roadworthy?

I’d be annoyed that he announced “I’m taking” the good car rather than opening up a discussion. Even if he’s got good reason, he’s got to discuss with the other owner of the car.

I can see why you wouldn’t want to use an unsafe car with a toddler but can you do everything you want to without a car?

itsgettingweird · 11/08/2025 15:14

He’s got to go 5 hours there and back.

You are local.

Makes sense he has the reliable car.

tinyspiny · 11/08/2025 15:04

We have one newish car and one old car if I’m going on a long trip I obviously take the newer car which is less likely to have an issue as the other one has done 150,000 miles and and anything could potentially go wrong .

SomeOfTheTrouble · 11/08/2025 15:04

Jk987 · 11/08/2025 14:54

If the old car can’t get you to town and back, it’s time to get rid of it…
Dh probably wants to show off the car to his mates not arrive
in the battered old banger!

I understand if you’re not loving the idea of a full on weekend with a 3 yr old though. Can you get a friend round or organise a play date?

He probably just wants to get there and back reliably!

DidIdotheritething · 11/08/2025 15:02

Yeah YABU. Massively so. Sorry.

Iloveeverycat · 11/08/2025 15:00

It's only for a weekend. I'm sure you will cope. Why do you say you are stuck with a 3 year old when they are your child.

Jk987 · 11/08/2025 14:54

If the old car can’t get you to town and back, it’s time to get rid of it…
Dh probably wants to show off the car to his mates not arrive
in the battered old banger!

I understand if you’re not loving the idea of a full on weekend with a 3 yr old though. Can you get a friend round or organise a play date?

DappledThings · 11/08/2025 14:53

Is this a reverse? Are you the one going away? I can't understand how else you could think it was reasonable for the unreliable car to be the one going on the long journey

MyMilchick · 11/08/2025 14:51

He's going on a long drive trip, I think he needs the reliable car more this time

DearGoldBee · 11/08/2025 14:50

Is this real?

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 11/08/2025 14:00

All of what the PP have said. Plus - who paid for the new car?

Mrsttcno1 · 11/08/2025 13:55

Surely you realise it would be madness to take an unreliable car on a 5 hour journey?

NidaNearby · 11/08/2025 13:23

Presumably if he was to take the unreliable car and it broke down and he was stranded somewhere, you’d have to drive however many hours to get him, toddler in tow?

Plus, if it does break down, it’ll be much easier to deal with near to home.

Trickabrick · 11/08/2025 13:23

Yeah what they all said, he totally needs the reliable car for a 5 hour journey. Worst case scenario, your crappy car breaks down and you call a cab or use public transport to get home.

myheadsjustmush · 11/08/2025 13:22

For a 5 hour drive you need a reliable car!

YABU

purplecorkheart · 11/08/2025 13:22

I would prefer him to have the reliable car in case something did happen and you need him to get back quickly. I also would want him to have a car with him so he can come back early if required rather than carpooling with a friend.

Just make sure you have the shopping in and plan easy to get to activities.

SomeOfTheTrouble · 11/08/2025 13:20

stuck with a 3 year old

She’s your daughter, and it’s one weekend! Is there nowhere nearby you can walk to? A playground or something?

scrimblescramble · 11/08/2025 13:17

To me it sounds like you're bitter because he's gone away and now you're stuck with a three year old. I can't understand why you think it would be better for your DH to drive a 5 hour journey in an unreliable car?

Arlanymor · 11/08/2025 13:15

You don’t have plans - he does and his involve him driving for 10 hours minimum. You don’t want the unreliable car in case it breaks down locally (even though you currently have no plans to drive this weekend) but you’re happy for him to potentially breakdown 250 miles away from your home? YABU. If you feel anxious then make your weekend plans that do not involve the need to drive.

Bitzee · 11/08/2025 13:13

(removed duplicate post)

Bitzee · 11/08/2025 13:13

It’s frankly a bit ridiculous to suggest that you can’t do local journeys because the car is so unreliable but that it would be ok if DH drove it for 5 hours. Obviously he needs the reliable car with that length of journey. If the old car is a bad as you say it is then just stay close to home or use public transport. It’s one weekend. You’ll be fine. But if it really is so bad then you may as well sell it for scrap for all the use it is.

SomeOfTheTrouble · 11/08/2025 13:11

Is there currently an issue with the old car, or are you just worried that there might be?
I think YABU. Your DH needs a reliable car for such a long journey.

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