To not help my friend- passport fraud

Hi, even though it is not in a court order, if F is on the child's birth certificate (I presume he is since they went through court proceedings), your friend cannot change her child's name without his agreement. How has she managed to do this? F is correct.

Do not get involved!!!! I wouldn’t trust your friend as far as I could throw her.

It sounds like the biological father has PR, which means she doesn’t have the right to unilaterally change her child’s name. Applying for a passport under a false pretence (circumnavigating the PR of the other parent by using a the name of a third party) is fraud. I changed my name when I was 18 and 45 years later I still have to reference my old name when renewing my passport.

If the courts are involved, they won’t look too kindly on your friend’s behaviour. I suspect her want for your involvement is to corroborate a falsehood. Your friend isn’t the victim here and she will get you in trouble if you let her.

Well you can't do anything practical can you, so just be a friend and listen to her moaning about her own stupid actions

I agree.

A lesson to all, don't use a sperm donor. Either have a baby naturally with someone you care about, or don't.

Nobody has the right to have a child. I feel sorry for this one, not for either of his or her parents.

I just find the whole saga quite revolting, Is this really what is best for the child?
Created like a commodity and now pushed pillar to post with names and at least one useless parent and the other who would pick a sperm donor from god knows where.
That poor child.

And her husband is being mean to her? WTF

Stay out of it. Sounds like she used some very dodgy website and took no legal advice at all.

Did she actually put the "donor" on the birth certificate? Why on earth did she do that? Was it a proper and anonymous donor or someone she agreed to have unprotected sex with?

It all sounds very dodgy and fuckwitted. Poor child.

It’s court appointed, you wouldn’t be able to ‘allow it’ or not, it’s legally sanctioned that the father can see the child. Whatever his reasoning for the donation (and it’s sound less and less legit anyway) he clearly wants to be in the child’s life. If the mother didn’t want this she should have gone to a licensed clinic, which would have avoided all of this situation.

Presumably she wasn’t expecting the sperm donor to part of the child’s life so that seems odd. She obviously needed his permission to change the name by deed poll. However when I did this they just accepted an email from their dad confirming agreement which seemed quite lax (was a while ago) with the deed poll documents it was straightforward to apply for the passport.

She may not have actually committed passport fraud as the name had been changed. The crime was not getting permission. Her best course of action would be to get the dad on side and agree to double barrelling? And a new deedpoll

If you don't want to deal with co-parenting with someone, don't have a child with them.

@Ravenblue - "My friend and me are quite close. Two years ago she wanted a new baby and found a sperm donor on a website. This bloke got her pregnant but then he wanted access. She didn't want him to but the courts gave him access and now he has the kid a couple of times a month..."

Right. Your friend "wanted a new baby" so she went and found a sperm donor on the internet, but your friend wanted nothing to do with the donor after insemination, and then the courts gave this anonymous donor access to the child?

Is this in the UK or are you somewhere else?

[Edit: I agree with others - stay well clear as you obviously don't have a clue. Your friend sounds awful - but tell her to get legal advice]

Not to derail but she had a baby with a stranger who sees the daughter every month? I am sorry but I would not allow that. He may have acted as donor for a reason.

Like previous posters have said that's not sperm donation.

Did she just find someone to have unprotected sex with her,. essentially?

Stay out of it…….too much legal entanglement that you clearly don’t understand for you to be of any constructive help to her. Leave it to the professionals

How did she manage to get the baby's name changed without having the father's permission?

She can NOT change the babies babe without his permission.

Agree..

A friend remarried and had to get her DC's father to give permission for her to change their DC's surname to her married one. I was asked to be a witness to it.

It's not a matter of just filling in paperwork and job done, it has to be done legally via the solicitor/courts.

What was this website? Gumtree?! Sperm donors don't have legal rights, no parental responsibility and are not named on the birth certificate - this is in the UK when the donation takes place via a licensed clinic

That was my first thought too

And most importantly why do you think she should have the right to do something with the other parents permission. Or on the flip side do you think he has the right to do as he chooses with his child too?

I'm not sure what she is expecting you to help with.
Is the father paying maintenance to her for the child?

Actually you do t naturally always have the right to change a name depending on PR.

My ds was born abroad but both me and DP were British. We wanted ds to be X-Y. X being his family name added by deed poll and Y being my surname.

Due to the countries rules they register him as Baby X.

Both dp and I had to agree and sign for change of name 9n deed poll to,X-Y and then both sign and agree again to passport office we agreed the name change in the deed poll to get it on the passport.

So the chances are she’s forged his signature somewhere along the line and that is fraud.

Your “friend” is so very wrong.

She’s a fast mover to go from some dodgy sperm donation to married in 2 years. I can’t see how you can help her. Even if you were capable of giving good legal advice, I don’t think she’d listen.

Don’t get involved. She’s legally in the wrong.

What was this website? Gumtree?! Sperm donors don't have legal rights, no parental responsibility and are not named on the birth certificate - this is in the UK when the donation takes place via a licensed clinic.

As it is, whatever route she went came without these protections and as a result the father has rights under the law and, no, she is not entitled to arbitrarily change her child's name without consultation and agreement with the father.

So I don't see how you can help her, when this situation has legal precedence. Except suggest that she seeks specific legal advice, although I don't think she has a leg to stand on.