To not help my friend- passport fraud

I don't see what you could do other than find her a solicitor.

You need to switch your feeling bad for her to feeling bad for the kid.

She throws away everything the child's Dad gives them?! Can you imagine how damaging that is to the child?!!

The more you say, the more problematic your friend sounds.

Your “friend” sounds (a) fairly stupid (getting a friend to text the dad that she and the kid had died and expecting him to just believe that?!) and (b) dangerously unhinged if she thinks she can just have sex with a man to get pregnant and then deny him any contact with the child.

Once she understands that she can’t do that, she will probably then start making wild accusations of physical or sexual abuse by him. I feel sorry for the guy. If this were my “friend” I would tell them what’s what and have no more to do with her if she carries on in this vein.

Your friend has a personality disorder if this is real.

Parental abandonment and alienation is very serious. She is harming her child by doing this, and harming her relationship with both parents. Her daughter won't be happy to hear she kept her dad away when she's older, as he will certainly tell her about what happened.

The lying is very serious and abnormal. Sometimes lying is normalized on these boards but it's not a normal thing. I would tell her to think about long term consequences of her behavior. She should think twice about lying in court.

This must be the most disgraceful thing I’ve ever read on Mumsnet. Your friend has zero moral standards and it sounds like the child would be better off with daddy for rent than with this manipulative cretin.

Do you think a man posting on a webite to find random women to get pregnant is likely to be particularly decent? Anyway, I'll take comfort in his likely fictional status myself.

She's a monster. You need to back away from this friendship. I hope for the sake of that kid her dad's going for primary custody.

Believe nothing.

your husband is right that she just brings drama.

I just hope the dad gets full custody eventually and this child gets raised in a stable home with stable adults in their life.

Shes not been a great friend, she's used me before and always asking for money. I'm often left not knowing what to believe. I'm just going to not respond. My husband has complained that she just brings drama.

Why on earth do you still speak to her? She’s disgusting and you would be well rid.

She got her friend to tell him that his child HAD BEEN KILLED!!?! And then tried to pass it off as a "joke"?

She's a disaster area. An on-going car crash. A nightmare. Keep well away otherwise you'll find yourself embroiled in her chaos and drama and it won't do you any favours.

If you carried on contact with her after this then I don't know what to tell you, you deserve all the stress you get.

PS - I do think that it's better for the children to know as much as possible about where they came from. This is why I chose an open ID donor for mine (they can find out the donor's identity when they turn 18). I'd encourage your friend to try and see the bright side of things. Plus if the dad is loaded this may open doors for the child in the future - not just in terms of money but also connections, help finding a good job, etc.

And then fade out of the friendship as it's not working for you.

Unfortunately this really.

I'd be focussing on her getting out of this marriage first. She's been married 5 minutes & he's treating her badly.

the rest can wait until she's sorted that.

Sounds like an exhausting friend. Stay out of it and keep her very much at arms length.

If birth father not named on birth certificate, she may well be entitled to change the child's name, obtain birth certificate in new name and use that to get a passport in new name. Where I live, this would be totally fine

ETA, just spotted bio father is now on birth certificate

Based on your last updates, I'm not sure why you're still in touch with her ? Don't stay her friend out of pity. If it doesn't work for you then it doesn't. Frankly, after reading all of your updates, it sounds like she's the cause of a lot of her own problems. I was very sympathetic at first but less and less with each update. Throwing away her child's toys because the dad gave it to them is awful.

Your “friend” is a typical example of a bitter woman using her child to harm a man. It’s the only way she has control and it’s damaging to the child.

She’s vindictive and not a nice person.

personally I would cut contact with her, it all sounds messy and unhealthy and I feel sorry for the poor child dragged into this mess.
It also sounds like she’s bitter with the child’s father not wanting a relationship and is punishing him about it all. She essentially dated him if they met families etc. he just sounds like he ended the relationship and she’s annoyed about it.

GRIM!
The father wasn’t a sperm donor - a sperm donor doesn't have sex repeatedly with the potential mother. It sounds like he was someone who wanted a child without the relationship with another woman. She was very very foolish to go down this route. However, that being said, it’s good for the child that he wants to have a relationship with them.
My advice to your friend would be ‘
“the courts have ordered that the father now has PR, your child will likely have a better future with knowing their father (assuming the F is decent) so it would be better to make the most of the situation. Abide by the courts decision and correct the name change”

So he wasn’t a sperm donor he was a man she had an on going relationship with to the point she met his family.

She doesn’t get to just erase this man from her child’s life because she’s now met and married someone else.

This child is not an object that she doesn’t want to share, her child is a human being who deserves both parents in their life.

Anory 1st name Jack?

Your friend is going to lose primary residential custody if she keeps on behaving like this. A good friend will advise her to follow the court order and to coparent effectively. She will probably end the friendship because she doesn’t sound like a person who wants good advice, but you can’t save someone who doesn’t actually want help.