Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not help my friend- passport fraud

242 replies

Ravenblue · 11/08/2025 11:54

My friend and me are quite close. Two years ago she wanted a new baby and found a sperm donor on a website. This bloke got her pregnant but then he wanted access. She didn't want him to but the courts gave him access and now he has the kid a couple of times a month. My friend is now married and she changed her kids name to her new husbands name. The father has found out and is now going back to the courts. She also got a passport in the new name and the father nows this. The father is now going to the police as he says its passport fraud. I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name but it says not in the court order. Its like she cant do anything without his permission. Its not fair on her.
She wants my help in trying to get her out of this but I dont know how and also I don't think shes in the wrong.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 11/08/2025 12:13

She’s in the wrong. But why did she put him on the birth certificate in the first place??

Serpentstooth · 11/08/2025 12:11

Poor kid. Cant choose your parents, sadly.

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/08/2025 12:11

I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name but it says not in the court order.

The court order is what counts here, not whether you think she has rights. The court order says she doesn’t have the right to change the child’s name, and that takes priority. I’d stay well out of it.

HeroicFailure · 11/08/2025 12:10

It's not clear what help she imagines you can provide. Are you a specialist in family law? Do you work at the passport office?

Lampzade · 11/08/2025 12:09

Tell her to get legal advice . Don’t get involved

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 11/08/2025 12:07

"She wants my help in trying to get her out of this but I dont know how"

Have you asked her how she expects you to help?

"and also I don't think shes in the wrong"

Why does it matter what you think? Have you Googled and found out what the law says?

Dramatic · 11/08/2025 12:07

She absolutely is in the wrong and you shouldn't get involved at all

MemorableTrenchcoat · 11/08/2025 12:05

Why is it not fair on her? He is the child’s father, whether she likes it or not.

GreenGodiva · 11/08/2025 12:03

She can NOT change the babies babe without his permission. He’s the babies dad! I had to go to court to get my kids name charged as the dad didn’tagree, and the judge only agreed as the dad was a convicted criminal and so it was in the kids best interests. She’s going to be in trouble if she’s lied on passport forms and in the deed poll as that’s literally LYING and fraudulently defining the uk government 😮😮😮.

Also, she doesn’t own that child. The child is not a handbag. The dad AND the mum have equal rights. She sounds awful.

dementedpixie · 11/08/2025 12:03

If he now has parental responsibility awarded by the court then she can't change the surname without his permission. She shouldn't have changed their names or got new passports if she didn't have his permission to do so.

Moonnstars · 11/08/2025 12:02

What help can you actually give?
Stay clear. She needs legal advice on this.

ChillieChicky · 11/08/2025 12:02

Did she put SD name on birth cert?

x2boys · 11/08/2025 12:01

It all sounds quite dodgy I wouldn't get involved .

Fitzcarraldo353 · 11/08/2025 12:00

Don't get involved but as a general point, she doesn't have the right to change the child's name without his permission. He has parental responsibility by the sounds of it, so he has the right to input on those kinda of decisions. I'm surprised you think it's not fair on her that she can't do what she wants. She's not the sole parent.

purplecorkheart · 11/08/2025 11:57

Do not get involved. There is nothing you can do that would be helpful.

rubyslippers · 11/08/2025 11:55

Do not get involved

Hoppinggreen · 11/08/2025 11:55

What does she actually expect you to do?