To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

Why didn’t you say anything to the person who said it? Why pick on OP?

She’s repeating it, laughing at it.Does that then make it ok, no.

I might have mixed you up with another poster in the case. If I did then I apologise.

I have said I would feel sad and disappointed about the trip.

I don't know why you picked me and kept saying I didn't understand what is was when I clearly did. It was very annoying.

No I haven’t. I’ve been referring to actual virtue signalling. What you describe there isn’t it. I even said myself I would feel sad for the family so clearly I don’t think that’s virtue signalling, do I?

That's fine but you have been angrily calling people virtue signallers for saying that they would feel a bit sad for a stranger losing their life. Nobody was offering to set up a just giving page for their family or go to the funeral.

Because op will do another thread, l personally would prefer to know, what their previous posts were, just like an op would know what my previous posts are.
(This post, wasn’t personal to op, self identifying, why would anyone assume it was op, when many people were there🙄) Many wouldn’t have clicked onto her thread, if they were aware on how she converses with posters who dare disagree with her.Disagree with this op, you will get their wrath, just about sums it up

If you can put it into context, as in you've been inconvenienced and disappointed but someone's loved ones are already having or about to have the worst day of their life because someone else has died, then I think that makes you normal.

I don't think you have to feel sadness at a complete strangers death to the point that you're upset yourself to recognise that while your inconvenience and disappointment is important to you, it's not the most important feeling in the whole situation that's had far worse outcomes than yours.

I think the difference is blame, you can acknowledge that sometimes life and death disrupt things and that stuff just happens and while you're disappointed and inconvenienced, it's part of being around other people and nature, of just existing, and there's no one to blame for it happening, to expect a sorry from, sometimes stuff like this happens and you just suck it up.

Some people on this thread are just bonkers though, I mean I'm quite a sympathetic and empathetic person, but even I would feel disappointed at not being able to do something I'd been looking forward to, while able to acknowledge that the situation has far worse concequences for others than for me.

I most certainly was not!
I was giving context to try to make her understand that whoever was in the accident where she was wasn't just an inconvenience but a real person with a family and friends who were now going to get the worst news of their lives.
The attitude from OP was what riled me.
And, as I said, the 'damn, what a wake up call', was insincere in my opinion.
I dont dwell on or use my BIL's death to gain sympathy, I've had many other things happen to me after that and I'm getting along just fine, thankyou.

Very well put and this makes a lot of sense.
Ive been there, too. My circle used to be huge but I got taken advantage of a lot and have had to toughen up and only focus on what I can change.
A lot of people find it exhausting to take on everyone else’s emotional pain and I get it totally. We are all different.

Those of you struggling to make sense of other people’s behaviour, this might help.

People all draw bubbles or circles around themselves regarding what does and doesn’t count. Everyone draws their circle differently. Some people draw their circle really tight in- often because in their immediate circle there is already more stress and need than they can manage.

Some people have a heart as big as the world and are able to manage to care about everything- just a bit. Some people have a smaller circle but are passionate and active about everything within that circle.

Caring about everything a bit doesn’t make you better than caring about just a few things more passionately.

I had to draw my circle closer in because I was getting burnt out. I was passionate and active about too much. Now I care about things I can change. Nothing else. I don’t waste emotion on situations I can’t affect.

Because of the context you used it in. You were trying to justify all the vile attacks on the OP by using a loved one’s death as emotional blackmail. I found it jarring.

Yeah, that was to me when I said my 29 year old BIL was killed weeks after his wife had a baby.
How nice of you.

Ok… cool?

l don’t need you to explain, to be patronised yet again by you.Couldn’t care less what you think, how many times have you used ‘clutching at straws’ to other posters of here🙄you are not going to change my view, with your bullish stance.

I didn’t even know any of my comments had been taken down

And as I said before, that’s not really the gotcha you think it is as MN is notoriously trigger happy when it comes to deleting reported posts. Someone had theirs deleted because they accused me of having no emotional intelligence and I didn’t even report it! I didn’t actually think it felt like a personal attack tbh.

But some are advocating for the whole thread to be deleted just because they don’t like it. And we are saying just don’t read it if you don’t like it?!

Hmm, you find it very self important, what a surprise, is it because some of your comments have been taken down and you’re agreeing with comments that are breaking MN guidelines.None of of my comments have been taken down, for a reason because l haven’t broke MN guidelines.Surely you understand if you come onto this forum some comments will be taken down, whether you agree or not, they are deemed as unacceptable.

There is nothing wrong with name changing. You’re allowed to do it yourself if you want to. I’ve explained upthread why she may have done it - possibly for the same reasons I have. She’s easily identifiable to people she knows simply by saying she is on holiday in a certain place, going to do a certain thing and was caught up in this accident - which is something she will probably tell people irl about.

I think you’re really clutching at straws here.

Why does anyone who posts on here think that anyone else wants to know anything about them or what they think?
And clearly, plenty of people did want to know looking at the amount of replies she got.

No they don’t name change all the time, why would they need to, it’s a anonymous forum🙄I don’t and there are many others that don’t, because they have nothing to hide, their username doesn’t just disappear overnight.So when she starts another thread, there’s no history of what she’s said before and the posters who don’t name change are easily identifiable what’s fair about that.She’s already said she recognises many of the usernames on here.
It’s different if someone has a personal issue, but this thread is not personal to op, is it.
Yes, op, calling people weirdo’s and you agreeing with it, but of course that’s ok, that’s not nasty at all is it🙄

I find it odd that you think it's such a taboo.

The whole reason I was initially interested in the thread was it made me wonder what other people did think - I've never really questioned my own reaction (which is to understand the situation is sad, but not to actually experience sadness personally) and I wondered how it stacked up.

I'd think the op was callous if she made the comment to someone actually caught up in a situation, but I really don't see why it's verboten on an anonymous forum.

I didnt find it upsetting just weird.

Talking of self importance. Why did OP think anyone wanted to know how she felt about the accident and victim?

This. I’ve just gone back and reread all of OP’s posts and honestly, there have been far far worse from the other side.

I see this a lot on here - people disagree with the content of a thread and because they don’t like it, they believe it should be taken down. I find it very self important. That anyone should think entire threads should be deleted because they personally don’t like them.

There are plenty of topics I find upsetting, I just don’t engage with them.