To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

Grow up.

Yes, it's absolutely alright as she has the opportunity to potentially go shopping again.

The person who died doesn't have that chance-but sure, the person who does-should absolutely feel gutted to have missed this opportunity.

Some people need to give their heads a wobble. Imagine it was your loved one who died and someone was moaning about missing an opportunity to go shopping.

Wow! Interesting those talking about empathy don’t seem to be very expansive in their application of it. 🙄

Why wouldn't someone be able to afford to do it again?

In the end, OP is alive and has the opportunity to do it again at some point in the future. It might not be the near future-but it's still a possibility.

Guess who doesn't have the opportunity for a do-over? The person who died.

I remember sitting in traffic as a kid and one of complaining to my parents and they swiftly replied ‘nobody wants to be in an accident and be causing traffic wind your neck in’ and I always try and come back to that. Yes it’s frustrating, especially when you queue for ages and it was a bod standard mini crash with everyone rubber necking holding up traffic but for a bad incident where someone dies you need to be grown up about it. Poor them.

I remember sitting in traffic as a kid and one of complaining to my parents and they swiftly replied ‘nobody wants to be in an accident and be causing traffic wind your neck in’ and I always try and come back to that. Yes it’s frustrating, especially when you queue for ages and it was a bod standard mini crash with everyone rubber necking holding up traffic but for a bad incident where someone dies you need to be grown up about it. Poor them.

Well, yes. Someone's lost their life and you're upset you won't be going shopping. It's a bit much.

Oh, a chance, that's alright then, how dare she be disappointed.

But i don't think the OP is saying they feel sadness? They aren't saying they feel both just... inconvenience at the worst day of someones life.

I completely agree with your sentiment though

Because she's not dead is she. There's always a chance she can go away again.

It could be, but the person who died may not have been the one at fault.

I've missed a flight due to an accident, the motorway was shut for ages, saw a medicopter in the distance. I felt sorry for the people involved in the crash. I could and did catch the next flight, but someone died in the crash

Op, you’re being very heartless and if it’s any comfort to you - you’d way overestimated what your trip to Sorrento and Pompeii was going to be like. It was never going to be anything other than a whistle stop tour to both places given the coach trip to and from Rome, and absolutely nothing like you imagined it would be.

No, it doesn’t make you shitty one bit!

If the opportunity you’d missed was to say a final good bye to a loved one you’d be getting much different replies.

no one on the internet can tell you what this experience meant to you in terms of emotional or monetary value.

i feel the exact same annoyance when there’s a jumper on the train line and i miss tea with my family, or as happened last year, a flight abroad.

An Interval feeling of disappointment and selfishness is absolutely ok

This is the op's first foreign break in a warm country, how the hell do you know that she can just go another time?

As someone who had a close friend who threw herself in front of a train, leaving behind two very vulnerable children, I can confidently state that that reaction doesn't cross my mind, ever.

Count yourself lucky. You can take a trip another time. The person who died can't.

I think it’s normal to feel frustrated but to not feel any sadness towards the person who died and their family is quite heartless.

Yes. Nothing to add to that.

@Arlanymor- "Someone left their home this morning and didn't get to go home" reminded me of something I dealt with at work, a few years ago.

I worked for a corporate vehicle accident management firm. In a nutshell, certain companies were contracted to us and we took all accident reports and arranged repairs.

Early one morning, a British Gas engineer was on his way to do a job when his van was ploughed into by a drunk driver. The engineer died at the scene.

It was awful. The poor bloke was just on his way to work, and some irresponsible fucker ended his life.

We spoke to his manager later in the day, and that engineer had a wife and three young kids.

It was heartbreaking. I don't understand lack of empathy for things like this.

Actually I think it’s a perfectly normal response.

I remember a guy hauling someone off the tracks when they’d attempted to jump in front of a train on the New York subway and the guy said he wasn’t a hero, he just couldn’t be late for work.

And that’s the bottom line. As sad as it is for that person, why should it fuck up everyone else’s life? They are a stranger, and that is the trip of a lifetime (it would be for me) and YANBU to be pissed off for missing it.

Just to say that is a trip that is going to be fraught with problems anyway. We just did a multi centre holiday Rome then Pompeii. The drive to Naples took over 6 hours because of road works and various queues. Agree that Sorrento isn’t worth it. Enjoy Pompeii, but you won’t get much time there. You may miss the queue if you are late though. I would be complaining to the tour company about the trip being impractical especially in the summer holidays - there is no contingency.
You are not being self centred, there are accidents and hold ups all the time and yes , loss of life is awful - but you being frustrated about your trip is understandable. Ultimately, i assume you only have their version of what actually happened?

I would be disappointed too @OnemargarIta at missing pompeii

I think the idea that the tour operator sold you this trip (doing Pompeii and Sorrento) in one day from Rome is crazy. It’s a long way to go in one day. We did Pompeii from Sorrento (an half day trip in itself not including meal stops) and it’s easily accessible by train from Naples. The roads around Sorrento are really busy and hug the mountainside so incredibly busy in high summer. Maybe consider a weekend in Naples another time to do Pompeii. It’s well worth it.

I think you can feel both sympathetic to and inconvenienced by terrible happenings. I remember many years ago I turned up at my DC's nursery to find it was shut with no notice because a staff member had died. She was a lovely women, I was upset to hear about her death and completely understood why the nursery was shut. But I was still expected to be at work that morning so was in the position of having to try to find someone to look after my DC with less than 30 mins notice. That stressed me quite a lot. I mean I didn't ring the nursery manager and complain or anything but after the initial shock of the news my next though was definitely "And what the hell am I supposed to do now?" The two emotions aren't mutually exclusive.

Well, being good or bad is I think a decision, not a state of being.

What you think about the situation doesn't really matter - it doesn't effect anyone else.

As long as you resolutely act like others' lives are more important than you own convenience, which I hope you do, it doesn't really matter whether you feel like they are, or not....

It's interesting you ask this, tho. Is it something that worries you - that you may not have standard emotional reactions to things? May be worth seeking counselling if so. A diagnosis may help you come to terms with any differences you may have.