To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

I wonder how many people posting in this thread are more excited about the chance to sternly tell someone off than sad about the loss of life of this family in a different country that none of us know.

I think I feel the same base level of sadness/empathy for road traffic accident victims as I did before I opened this thread. It's not zero, but I'm not prostrating myself. OP also only found out about this particular accident by reading something online. Is only the OP expected to feel sad, and not the rest of us, because she is currently located a bit physically closer to them?

Yes of course, understand, someone not feeling sad, that someone they didn’t know has died.This was tragic circumstances though and obvs it was on the same route op was on.Yes, it’s ok not to feel sad, you can’t make yourself feel sad, either you are or you aren’t🙄however to say you feel inconvenienced and annoyed, is another thing, personally l think that’s quite selfish, to feel that way just because holiday plans have changed, not looking at the bigger picture.It’s life, not everything is about you @OnemargarIta

Aye. There's innocent little old you thinking you weren't going to stir up a hornets nest by making this post.
I do think there needs to be methods to keep the road running regardless of accidents, however bad. course it is sad when someone is killed but unfortunately the world just keeps spinning around regardless.

Worth the trip then really OP, to find yourself.

This reminds me of an inicident from way back which I've reflected on a lot. I don't think I did anything wrong in this case, but I was made to feel bad.

Long ago I was on my way to a work meeting about 12 miles away and I got stuck in a stationary traffic jam along a rural B road. I got out of the car and couldn't see anything up directly ahead and didn't dare leave the car for long to check. I was worrying about my appointment when police motorcyclist came down the line of traffic slowly, and some people had clearly spoken to him. I asked politely if he knew how long before we could get moving and I got a bollocking in return. He told me that someone (turned out, a motorcyclist) had been killed and that I was very selfish to be concerned about being kept waiting.

How was I to know? Of course that was tragic, but as we know, there are many reasons why traffic is held up. I guess this officer had been close to the scene of the accident and was upset himself, but I felt very shocked by his attitude. A simple 'There's been a fatal accident, madam, and it will take time for everything to be sorted out' would have been reasonable.

I tell myself now, whenever I'm delayed by an accident, that it could have been me, so being late or missing something is trivial.

Not always the clever option. I did Athens to Meteora on the train for a day trip (already a long journey but thought it would be worth it) and got stuck on the train for 7 hours (whether or not it was because of an accident/fatality on the line I don't know, they didn't say.) Luckily it was on the way back so I didn't care so much. But trains aren't immune to delays either.

I think YABU if you don't care that someone died (but I don't think that's what you're saying) but not to be disappointed that your trip is so badly affected. It's human to feel disappointment and frustration at that, no matter what the cause. If you don't know the person involved in the accident and don't see it then it's almost impossible to feel the same level of empathy as you would if you'd witnessed it or knew the people involved.

Wow!

How empathetic of you

Yes, you're a shitty person.

Put it like this, I have had my plans interrupted several times because of 'a person on the line' between where I live and London and my first thought is how awful for the train driver and the people on the train.

Pompeii and Sorrento will still be there for another time.

I think it's fine to feel sad at the loss of life but also frustrated – feelings aren't a finite pie.

As someone who commutes by train every day, 'fatalities on the line' do frequently cause frustration while also recognising the tragedy. And someone can be frustrated without being a twat about it.

No, it doesn't. You're not in control of how you feel: only of how you act. And the fact that you're considering this at all means you're doing just fine.

Big 🤗Hope the rest of the holiday goes well 😘

You don’t know the person. The only impact they have had on your life has been to disrupt a much longed for trip. Ofc it’s not unreasonable to be disappointed that you are in this situation - we can’t help how we feel.

That said, the person - given the choice - likely would’ve completed their journey and carried on with life. Sadly for them, that isn’t an option. Life is fragile, and rarely is the end of it convenient for those around them (known or otherwise). It’s somewhat of a privilege to be the one stuck on a coach feeling frustrated you’ve missed out on Sorrento. You don’t need to take on other people’s grief, but there’s space for empathy to the deceased alongside frustration at the disruption. We’re allowed to feel more than one emotion.

As a side note, Sorrento is lovely - go back on another trip, stay there, and take the tour along the Amalfi coast. You’ll have a blast.

Smug

Let me assure you, you haven't missed out on anything!

Yes it's bonkers.
Pompeii needs a whole day anyway.

If I was spending 3 nights in London for the first time, I wouldn't bugger off on a day trip to Bath by coach for one of those days.

Same with Rome and Pompeii.

The lack of empathy is unusual, I think. Tired, disappointed etc, could be expected, coupled against the heartbreak of the tragedy. But to not feel sad at all is rarer. Do you often feel this way?

I think you were mad to plan a day long bus trip when only there for 3 days - would have been better to stay in Rome and properly explore that city rather rush about multiple places in a few days

Yes, that's shitty.
You still get to go to Pompeii, which is fabulous. The person who has died doesn't get to do anything ever again.

You probably won't ever know.

There are plenty of innocent people killed in traffic accidents including my young Brother.

But the OP outright admits she doesn't feel sad that someone's been killed.

And people wonder why there are anti-tourist protests in mainland Europe.

YANBU

Doesn't mean you don't care about other people, but look at the context. Something you've saved up for and looked forward to for a while that is very special and out of the ordinary (unlikely you'll do it again soon I'm guessing?) has been really hampered, and you won't get any money back. Of course it's okay to feel inconvenienced. If you were distraught and thanked your lucky stars it's not you every time you heard about someone else dying you'd never get anything else done. It's just bad luck it's happened this way and it's fine to feel upset about it!

I think it's understandable to feel both sad and frustrated.

When I was on a train to the airport once, we were significantly delayed because someone had, from what we found out, committed suicide by jumping onto the tracks at a station further down the line. I'd flown over on the red-eye, had minor surgery, hadn't eaten in hours, and was on the brink of an autistic meltdown if I couldn't get home that evening. I just wanted to get home more than anything in the world. I certainly felt both, sympathy and frustration, along with a great deal of guilt for being so annoyed.

You saved up, you had plans, it's a rare experience you might not have another chance to do, you're not there for long; of course you're annoyed! You don't know the person who unfortunately lost their life; one feeling is a lot closer to home than the other, and in this case it's the annoyance. Take a few moments to feel that sympathy, and feel the sadness, and then try not to beat yourself up about it.

Last month our train home from a day trip was delayed. I eagerly googled train policy on refunds for delay!
Further announcements revealed it was because someone had jumped onto the track..
That refund hit my account yesterday and I feel shit for having it.
Think will spend the exact amount and put it on the trolley for the food bank.
You certainly lack empathy op.

Yes it does make you a shitty person and so is your mate @ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera