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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

636 replies

OnemargarIta · 11/08/2025 11:36

I'm currently in Italy (staying in Rome) for three nights. It's my first foreign break in a warm country and I've been so excited and saved up especially.

We booked an excursion for today consisting of a trip to Sorrento where we'd spend time exploring, visiting shops and enjoying local food - and then on to Pompeii on the route back.

We've spent the whole morning/day so far stuck in traffic on the motor way. We are so behind schedule we can now no longer go to Sorrento first because Pompeii closes at 5.30 and there won't be time. A sit down restaurant meal will now be replaced by a takeaway which will be eaten on the coach.

We've just been told the cause of the traffic jam and it's because somebody has died in a collision on the motorway.

Instead of feeling saddened about the loss of life I just feel inconvenienced and pissed off that the highlight of my trip has been ruined.

Does this make me a shitty person? It just occurred that it might 😳

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 13/08/2025 16:22

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:17

Agreed. The Be Kind brigade always show their true colours in the end, which are not kind.

Yep. Apparently it’s ok because the OP deserves it 😳

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:17

WhereIsMyJumper · 13/08/2025 16:15

I’ve seen far more vitriol thrown at the OP than I’ve seen the OP throw at others!

Agreed. The Be Kind brigade always show their true colours in the end, which are not kind.

SleeplessInWherever · 13/08/2025 16:17

Justchilling07 · 13/08/2025 11:55

I find that very hard to believe because that hasn’t held you back in anyway, there’s no excuses for how you’ve lead this thread and been nasty to people who disagree with you.And conveniently denying what was said in the deleted posts.

What on earth was even said in these deleted posts that everyone keeps going on about.

They’ve been deleted now, is there any point rehashing that they existed, repeatedly?

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 13/08/2025 16:16

WhereIsMyJumper · 13/08/2025 16:15

I’ve seen far more vitriol thrown at the OP than I’ve seen the OP throw at others!

Then maybe she'll think twice next time before starting such a thread.

I'm off to work now.

Goodbye.

WhereIsMyJumper · 13/08/2025 16:15

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:11

@LemonCheesecake2025 looked for it and quoted it as well.

Out of all the posts you’ve ignored the ones calling OP a tosser and fixated on one OP didn’t even write herself.

That shows who you are.

I’ve seen far more vitriol thrown at the OP than I’ve seen the OP throw at others!

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:12

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 16:05

Its not kind to start a thread about someone dying ruining your day. We can go on and on till the thread is full.

I dont actually know what OP wanted from the thread to begin with.

It’s an anonymous forum, which you and others seem to think you control. You don’t.

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:11

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 13/08/2025 16:07

I was the one who went looking for OP's post quoting what the other poster had said.
Out of all the comments, she chose that one to highlight and laugh at.
Shows just what kind of person she is.

@LemonCheesecake2025 looked for it and quoted it as well.

Out of all the posts you’ve ignored the ones calling OP a tosser and fixated on one OP didn’t even write herself.

That shows who you are.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 13/08/2025 16:07

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:55

And yet you’ve gone to the trouble of looking for OP’s post quoting the post and yet not the person who said it.

Pile on comes to mind.

I was the one who went looking for OP's post quoting what the other poster had said.
Out of all the comments, she chose that one to highlight and laugh at.
Shows just what kind of person she is.

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 16:07

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:02

This post wasn’t to you. And @LemonCheesecake2025 seems to enjoy being the one who keeps the thread going, so maybe have a word with her.

Im out too. I'll let you have the last post @nomas

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 16:05

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:00

It’s not your place to try and stop anyone from posting threads and it’s not kind to incite pile ons.

Its not kind to start a thread about someone dying ruining your day. We can go on and on till the thread is full.

I dont actually know what OP wanted from the thread to begin with.

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:02

Justchilling07 · 13/08/2025 15:59

Let it go.I’ve already answered you.
I realise by commenting on here, it’s only keeping this thread more active, that’s probably the goal, for some posters on here, to keep it going.
So yes, thankfully l’ve seen the light 👋

This post wasn’t to you. And @LemonCheesecake2025 seems to enjoy being the one who keeps the thread going, so maybe have a word with her.

nomas · 13/08/2025 16:00

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:58

OP might think twice about starting a thread about people dying ruining her day trips in future.

I doubt it though.

It’s not your place to try and stop anyone from posting threads and it’s not kind to incite pile ons.

Justchilling07 · 13/08/2025 15:59

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:43

That doesn’t answer my question. Why didn’t you or Justchilling say anything to the person who actually said it?

Let it go.I’ve already answered you.
I realise by commenting on here, it’s only keeping this thread more active, that’s probably the goal, for some posters on here, to keep it going.
So yes, thankfully l’ve seen the light 👋

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:58

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 13/08/2025 15:56

Why all the questions? It's easy to miss a post on a fast paced thread.
The poster who did post that was out of line but it was OP who drew attention to it calling it 'gold'.

Because a few of you have pounced on OP even though she’s not the one who said it. So it’s not about what was said, it was about who said it that concerns you. Which is hypocritical.

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:58

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:55

And yet you’ve gone to the trouble of looking for OP’s post quoting the post and yet not the person who said it.

Pile on comes to mind.

OP might think twice about starting a thread about people dying ruining her day trips in future.

I doubt it though.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 13/08/2025 15:56

Why all the questions? It's easy to miss a post on a fast paced thread.
The poster who did post that was out of line but it was OP who drew attention to it calling it 'gold'.

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:55

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:46

I will answer your question.

I must have missed it and I've not said anything to OP about it.

Question answered.

And yet you’ve gone to the trouble of looking for OP’s post quoting the post and yet not the person who said it.

Pile on comes to mind.

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:54

Justchilling07 · 13/08/2025 15:50

Because it’s op’s thread, she’s repeating and laughing at it, makes her just as bad as the person who originally posted it.
Grow up, op is well capable of looking after their self.

So OP is responsible for what everyone else posts?

How does me growing up correlate to Op looking after herself?

Isn’t it more that you want to be able to pile on OP without anyone checking you?

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:54

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 13/08/2025 15:49

For someone who thought that writing down these thoughts was beyond the pale, you've done a cracking job of sustaining this thread and maximising it's time in active @LemonCheesecake2025

Thanks 😀

BunnyLake · 13/08/2025 15:52

Maverickess · 13/08/2025 13:42

If you can put it into context, as in you've been inconvenienced and disappointed but someone's loved ones are already having or about to have the worst day of their life because someone else has died, then I think that makes you normal.

I don't think you have to feel sadness at a complete strangers death to the point that you're upset yourself to recognise that while your inconvenience and disappointment is important to you, it's not the most important feeling in the whole situation that's had far worse outcomes than yours.

I think the difference is blame, you can acknowledge that sometimes life and death disrupt things and that stuff just happens and while you're disappointed and inconvenienced, it's part of being around other people and nature, of just existing, and there's no one to blame for it happening, to expect a sorry from, sometimes stuff like this happens and you just suck it up.

Some people on this thread are just bonkers though, I mean I'm quite a sympathetic and empathetic person, but even I would feel disappointed at not being able to do something I'd been looking forward to, while able to acknowledge that the situation has far worse concequences for others than for me.

I agree. I think the issue has been that OP has only felt ‘pissed off’ by it and that is just a bit too callous for most rational people to relate to.

Justchilling07 · 13/08/2025 15:50

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:25

Why didn’t you say anything to the person who said it? Why pick on OP?

Because it’s op’s thread, she’s repeating and laughing at it, makes her just as bad as the person who originally posted it.
Grow up, op is well capable of looking after their self.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 13/08/2025 15:49

For someone who thought that writing down these thoughts was beyond the pale, you've done a cracking job of sustaining this thread and maximising it's time in active @LemonCheesecake2025

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:46

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:43

That doesn’t answer my question. Why didn’t you or Justchilling say anything to the person who actually said it?

I will answer your question.

I must have missed it and I've not said anything to OP about it.

Question answered.

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:43

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:38

Get up you fucker, I want to see Pompeii!" Is gold.

Grim. It's not gold.

Edited

That doesn’t answer my question. Why didn’t you or Justchilling say anything to the person who actually said it?

LemonCheesecake2025 · 13/08/2025 15:38

nomas · 13/08/2025 15:25

Why didn’t you say anything to the person who said it? Why pick on OP?

Get up you fucker, I want to see Pompeii!" Is gold.

Grim. It's not gold.