To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

Yes. This.

personally, I thinks it's quite concerning not to feel ANY sadness or any gratitude it was you or a loved one in the accident and ONLY to feel pissed off about how it has affected you.

the tour company is clearly ONLY interested in £££ though & they sold you a lemon. That was never going to be a good day anytime of year, let alone August. If you have anything else booked with them I'd cancel. I know you are sad to have missed Sorrento. But honestly it's very much a tourist driven place & you haven't missed much. If you have anything else booked time left, explore the local villages, a much better experience.

I think it is possible to feel both inconvenienced and sad for the individual at the same time. As a commuter into London for many years, there were so many times I got stuck where someone had jumped in front of a train. It is horrible to think of them and the driver, but equally can take hours to get home.

Im going to italy again this week for 3 nights 4 days. 2 in garda and 1 night in Venice. Use the trains.

I think you need to get over yourself

No, not unless you take action on those thoughts.

It is annoying to have your holiday, which you've paid for, disrupted by someone you don't know dying, but yeah obviously someone dying and all the chaos around it is justified and way more important than your feelings in this situation.
There are going to be people experiencing way worse than "annoying" because a relative has died so you have to shut up and tolerate it, but yeah it is annoying.

As long as your annoyed in private, it's fine. I wouldn't waste your time judging yourself over how you feel.

If on the other hand, it was your friend who died and you felt annoyed that your holiday was disrupted I would judge you yes, but the reality is that most humans are not emotionally attached to complete strangers, this is normal.

I've never lost anyone in a tragic accident myself but I wonder does it really help the loved ones to know that total strangers who they don't know and will never interact with are feeling more sad than inconvenienced? I don't see how it would make any difference.

She’s not, just annoyed her holiday didn’t go to plan.

Honestly, you're not unreasonable for feeling a bit disappointed about your trip. That's a normal, natural emotion when things don't go the way you hoped they would.

However, this is where you need to take a step back and get some perspective. You've missed out on some of your trip-someone else has died and their loved ones will be receiving the news that they won't be coming home ever again.

It's not about grieving for every person that dies or even feeling sad about it-most people don't/won't feel much when someone they don't know dies-but you shouldn't be broadcasting the fact that you're more bothered about a trip that you can, one day, take again than about someone else losing their life.

It's not about grieving for that person-but about acknowledging that there are worse things that can happen to a person, i.e., dying, than having your trip ruined because someone else died. Oh, no, did they decide to die on the day you decided to go on your trip? How dare they. Don't they know who you are?

Feel disappointed about your trip-but JFC, get some damn perspective.

It's not like you are having to interact with it. Like if you were asked should emergency services investigate the accident, or move quickly so you could proceed meaning that the dead person's family never got to know why the died, and you chose the second you'd be utter scum, but nothing you think will help or hinder the person or those that loved them.

How do you get through the day ?

Am I the only one wondering where the Mumsnet empaths are today?

Well, at least you’ve lived to potentially see Sorrento another day, unlike the poor person in the accident.

I think it is perfectly normal to feel something primarily or only in the way it affects you. Logically a number of people die everyday, so should we spend everyday mourning throughout our lives? The only thing that would be wrong is if you acted on the fact you don't really care this person is dead in a way that affected others who were affected by the death. Yelling at emergency services to move, or a funeral procession to hurry up for example.

Or, given that studies show Vesuvius to be overdue for another eruption, maybe not. Those calling the OP out on her lack of empathy will be doing a lot of grieving that day.

There are a lot of grief thief types on mumsnet OP. Those will be the ones telling you that you are a terrible person.

I'm with you OP, why would you feel sad about someone you've never met, don't know the name of and have never seen even a picture of. Some people must spend all their lives feeling sad because there are over 1500 people dying in crashes a year in the UK. I hope they're all feeling sad for all them.

This was your first trip abroad somewhere warm, it was for a very short time that you'd saved up for and there was a very specific thing you really wanted to do. Of course this was more important to you than what was going on in someone you don't knows life - even if the thing that was going on was tragic.

I'm a little like the OP I get mighty fucked off by all the crashes that both hold me up and those I read about when often the cause is some twat driving like an inpatient or dangerous idiot to get where they want to faster, normally taking the life of some innocent driver, a family or their passengers.

Why start a post about anything?

You can’t help how you feel but sometimes it’s best to keep those feelings to yourself. The world would be a nicer place if people did this more often

Sorry, but this made me laugh out loud. Does that make me a shitty person ?!!

Why start a post about it?

And unless/until it does happen to a member of one’s own family, it’s unreasonable to take on grieving for someone you don’t know. This has clearly happened to you, judging by your strong reaction, and I’m so sorry for that, but it’s irrelevant to the context of the comment.

I wouldn't feel any sadness towards a stranger either, so if that makes me a shitty person so be it.

OP, like you, I'd be mildly annoyed at the inconvenience - whatever the reason for it.