To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

I'd be pissed off my day was ruined and wouldn't give a second thought about the person who died. I never knew them and they bear no more relevance to me than anyone else who died that day. Other than that their accident fucked up my day.

Why didn't you get a train? So easy & cheap to get around in Italy. The roads are always a pain out there.

Quite.

I think op is pretty normal. I would think she was lacking in empathy if she felt this way at the tragic death of someone she knew. Or if she expressed her frustration and annoyance to someone close to the accident in some way.

But not being upset about a stranger or strangers involved in something that unfortunately is not unusual doesn’t strike me as shocking or odd. I’m far more concerned day to day about relatively minor things that affect me and people I care about than things I understand to be utterly dreadful for people I don’t. I’ve never doubted that I have normal levels of empathy!

I think it’s natural to feel annoyed that your plan didn’t happen. But it is quite heartless to not even care that someone was killed…

You can do both at once they’re not mutually exclusive.

i didn't ask you to & with your attitude I certainly didn't expect you to!

I remarked that your behaviour was childish, blaming the OP for your crass response to her question.

I would have thought it was a horrible irony. Beyond that I can't say. I think it's unreasonable to expect total strangers to be anything other than a little saddened by knowing someone died in any manner. I'm one of those who absolutely does not get the tears and grief when a famous person dies. I'm a very practical person, quite well known for my "well fuck it, what can we DO" approach ,(much valued by my late friend who had cancer for a decade). She couldn't abide wallowing or false, overblown "feels". Obviously it depends on exactly what the circumstances are but in my case and in the OPs when it was a one off, long planned for and expensive day, I completely see where she is coming from.

I'm not trying to excuse myself to you, funnily.

I'd feel sadness and grief for my friend, but tbh I would understand if it wasn't shared by the many hundreds of people they'd shown no thought for in their actions.

Though accidents are different and then you do have to be more philosophical and put it down as just one of those things - annoying for you and very sad for the individuals and families involved.

Fwiw although I've been accused of finding the thread amusing well no not the thread in general just one comment off op I can definately relate to the fact this will be somebody's, partner child etc etc and I do feel saddened and I am grateful I'm not going through it that's not to say that I may not feel inconvenienced at the same time but I definitely don't find it amusing in the slightest and feel awful for the person and thier relatives.

There's a massive difference between grief vultures & people having a quiet thought about the loss of someone's life being vastly more important to their loved ones (& having empathy) than a delay in their own timetable.

Would you have had sympathy if the reason for your friend's funeral was that they had done the same... jumped in front of a train?

I almost missed my best friends funeral because someone had jumped and all the trains were cancelled. I had to jump in the car and do a four hour drive with the satnav telling me I'd arrive at the exact minute it was due to start. I was bloody lucky with traffic and literally pulled in at the same time as the hearse. I didn't have much sympathy that day I'm afraid.

No, I don't need to 'scroll on'. You need to be less offensive. You knew it would cause offence/upset & still posted it.

pointing to the OP & saying 'it was her fault miss, she made me do it' is childish.

It’s not lacking empathy, it’s about being busy with your own life. I’m taking my autistic nephew for a day out tomorrow and if we’re delayed for any reason, including someone dying, my ONLY concern will be our day out. My empathy will be with my nephew who struggles with any change, and me, who will have wasted a lot of money if we don’t get there.

As l’ve said nobody is asking, expecting for you to be sad for everyone, so not sure why that needs to be said again.
Posting on a public forum is disrespectful, as is op seeing how the thread was going and encouraging it.You’re choosing to ignore, what l said about the thread turning nasty, posters laughing about suicide
That’s why other posters have got upset.
But l guess it’s best to agree to disagree.

Yup. Distasteful or not, this is the general reaction.

To be honest she didn't really need to ask anyone or start a thread about it.
It was obvious a thread like this would hit a nerve with some people.
And throughout the thread she has shown that she quite clearly lacks empathy along with a handful of others.
There's nothing more to say really.

She originally didn’t, I don’t think. She started the thread to ask if she lacked compassion that other people have. Think she was seeing if she was weird levels of unempathetic.

Then loads of people said she should think herself lucky she’s not dead, and stop being so selfish being bothered that she’s missed a day of a 3 day holiday… and now here we are!

Because it's another saying that is over used. I'm not sure why people can't grasp things.

I find it sad that people are irritated by people being kind. Just say I need my space.

This thread is bonkers. People arguing over a death of someone in Italy.

At the end of the day I feel more sorry for the person that lost their life than some random whose been stuck on a coach.

I get that OP is more upset for herself than someone she's never met but why start a thread to make herself feel better. Its a bit tough shit OP but crack on.

I feel the same.

If my day is disrupted, it may be the worse thing that has happened to me that day. I can’t be sad for everyone. OP wasn’t telling the man’s family that it was an inconvenience, she was writing about it on a public forum, which isn’t disrespectful. As you said, context is everything.

Tbh I think stranger sympathy can be bit odd and excessive sometimes. It can be seen as attention seeking or virtue signalling. I'm not saying this is always the case, but sometimes it is.

I understand why people get annoyed stuck in traffic or on a train for hours. I also understand accidents happen, sometimes they're unavoidable. Suicidal people are inherently inward thinking and thus selfish in that they have no ability to consider other people. A person throwing themselves off a bridge or a building may kill others by accident - but their brains don't consider this like a normal person's brain does. They would never consider your delay or inconvenience. It is what it is, unfortunately. I am annoyed when there are delays and I'm particularly annoyed at people driving like idiots and causing accidents, as well as the fact MH support in this country is so shit and many people have nothing to cling on to.

I’m sure you did, but that’s literally not the same.

I’m irritated by fake condolences yes. For example when my cousin text me “he was a lovely man.” He was. But she’d never met him, so she didn’t know that, might have been a dick for all she knew.

I think grief is reserved for the bereaved and those closest to them, and everyone outside of that is just saying the right thing. I’d rather they didn’t. I didn’t want Sandra from round the corner to tilt her head. I wanted the support of my immediate circle, my (now ex) husband wanted his father back, and I wasn’t really interested in much else.

We had people we saw twice a year saying “if you need anything….” What, going to bake a cake for someone you don’t see when there isn’t a death? Come round and cut my grass? It’s insincere nonsense.

What on earth misogyny has to do with anything, I’ve got no idea.