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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to launch the kid who called DD(5) fat into space?

65 replies

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:01

She’s five! Just finished Reception, and some dick of a kid (I’m not sorry about referring to him as such) has told her that she’s “not beautiful as she has fat cheeks and a fat arm”. Just the one eh pal? Twit.

I don’t know whether I dislike him more for thinking it’s acceptable to say this kind of thing to small girls, or for giving me the headache of trying to address body image earlier than I was hoping to have to do so, and in the middle of the summer hols to boot. Any advice from those who have been through this will other small girls gratefully received.

OP posts:
Barnbrack · 10/08/2025 22:19

If he's 5 then yeah you're unreasonable, kids say all kinds of things to each other (and I'm fat and was a chunky kid and had plenty of comments) is your child overweight? Are you? Are you offended for your own reasons? Do you use the word fat at home? We don't, we don't comment on people's bodies and as a result my eldest never heard the word fat I told p2 at school (not directed at him at that point) and was really surprised it was a thing to insult someone. Thankfully his nursery was as good as the not commenting a we are. His school gave a 3 second. Rule, if someone cant change something about their appearance in 3 seconds or less don't comment. So tell someone their pants are showing above their trousers don't tell them they have chubby cheeks.

I'd start with that when explainubg to your daughter why it was mean and what not to do herself and work on body positivity for her

LoremIpsumCici · 10/08/2025 22:19

I’d make a joke out of it with my DD. I’d laugh at how he can’t even do an insult right and tell her to steer clear of him.

Boys that tease and bully don’t like the girls they tease and bully (contrary to what we were told growing up)

Original poster
ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:15

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:07

Is he also 5? Is your daughter overweight?

Children that young do not really understand the notion of not saying an honest/true comment to save someone's feelings, they are very descriptive about physical things.

My daughter (5) has had various "honest" comments about her size (she's extremely short). I talk about bodies coming in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful.

Nah, she’s a normal small kid size. I had chubby cheeks as a kid, still have ‘em as an adult, and she’s inherited them from me. They’ll probably serve her well in life up to about age 55-60 when she’ll be pondering a mini-facelift as they head southwards. She definitely doesn’t have one obese arm either, again, normal child-sized arm.

He’s year 1 apparently. I could be more accepting of “you have fat cheeks” because, as you say, might be a clumsy way of describing them, but to add “you’re not beautiful because…” seems a bit of a knob move at age 6.

Editing as DH says he thought Year 2. Either 6 or 7.

OP posts:
Mousehi · 10/08/2025 22:14

At this age it suggests the other child hears this regularly in their home. I would actually just explain that to my dd and that the other child is just lashing out to anyone they can, it's not accurate or personal and it's not nice to comment on people's appearance.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/08/2025 22:12

Little fucker

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:10

Oh and i tell my own kids its rude to comment on other people's bodies and to only compliment things people can choose and control eg

  • i love how you've done your hair
  • that dress looks great
  • your smile brings me joy (people can choose to smile).
  • i really like your blue glasses
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2025 22:10

I assume he’s 5 as well. In which case it’s learned from adults. They deserve the launching, not him the poor kid.

Thatsnotmynamee · 10/08/2025 22:10

I mean, if he's 5 as well then he's not really going to know what's acceptable to say to small girls. But also I'd be raging with dislike too!

beadystar · 10/08/2025 22:07

Their entitlement starts early doesn’t it. Little shit.

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:07

Is he also 5? Is your daughter overweight?

Children that young do not really understand the notion of not saying an honest/true comment to save someone's feelings, they are very descriptive about physical things.

My daughter (5) has had various "honest" comments about her size (she's extremely short). I talk about bodies coming in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful.

sellotapechicken · 10/08/2025 22:06

You are so not unreasonable !

Ballykissmangle · 10/08/2025 22:06

Prick.

Thankfully I’ve never been aware of anyone saying something like this to DD but if they did, I’d want to boot them into next week.

Katemax82 · 10/08/2025 22:05

My daughters so called best friend at primary triggered her anorexia. I want to launch that bitch into space

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 22:04

He is a DICK!!

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 22:04

There's loads of bullying in schools, sadly even in reception. Shit parents probably. Try and trip him up at the next school pick up. He IS a sick BTW. I bet your daughter is beautiful 💖