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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP said no to baby 3 but thinks he can have a puppy !!!

142 replies

Idontwantapuppy · 10/08/2025 21:41

I wanted dc 3, dp said absolutely not. I was quite upset but obviously if he doesn’t want another child then that’s that.

However he has decided he wants a puppy. I said no I really don’t want a dog. He has said ‘but you wanted a baby - a puppy is much less of a commitment- you’re only saying no because I said no to you!’ Which isn’t the case at all.

I said no because I’m asthmatic and just don’t want a pet. I’m a bit of a clean freak and don’t want doggy mess / hair / slobber in the house. I said to him it’s nothing to do with the fact he said no to another baby it’s a totally separate issue and I’m not applying bitterness as he says I am and just saying no to spite him. He’s saying if he wants a dog he has every right to. AIBU ? He says I clearly am as if I’d commit to another child then a puppy is a lot less of a commitment so I’m being deliberately difficult apparently

OP posts:
YelloDaisy · 10/08/2025 22:12

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 22:07

They’re not even hard work for very long. Once they’re housetrained - which takes days if you work hard at it - the rest is relatively easy.

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Yes, well tell that to OP’s DH. Ime the wife or mum end up doing g nearly all of the tedious work that’s involved.

Sometimeswinning · 10/08/2025 22:11

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 22:07

They’re not even hard work for very long. Once they’re housetrained - which takes days if you work hard at it - the rest is relatively easy.

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One of those moments where you need to read the room. It’s not about convincing op. It’s about telling partner she has zero interest in a dog. Any dog.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 10/08/2025 22:08

The main thing that dogs and babies have in common is that you both have to agree you want one, and either partner has the right to veto. He has the right to veto a third child, you have the right to veto a dog. He needs to drop it.

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 22:07

IamnotSethRogan · 10/08/2025 22:04

That's slightly over the top. They're definitely not more of a commitment. They're hard work and all that but absolutely not more of a commitment than a child.

Edited
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They’re not even hard work for very long. Once they’re housetrained - which takes days if you work hard at it - the rest is relatively easy.

BellissimoGecko · 10/08/2025 22:06

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 21:45

Not all dogs slobber and some breeds are hypoallergenic, ie don’t shed or produce dander. And he’s right - a dog is less of a commitment and less expensive than another child.

So what???? If OP doesn’t want a dog, she doesn’t want a dog.

IamnotSethRogan · 10/08/2025 22:04

Tiswa · 10/08/2025 21:47

Puppy’s are MORE commitment in my view - they are a toddler that just doesn’t grow up. They don’t get able to take themselves off to the toilet or out for walks or go off to (pre)school during the day. The level of commitment starts hard and remains hard

it needs BOTH parties committed to it just like a child. It is comparable and you have every right to say no

That's slightly over the top. They're definitely not more of a commitment. They're hard work and all that but absolutely not more of a commitment than a child.

Original poster
Idontwantapuppy · 10/08/2025 21:53

What is really getting to me is the fact it’s being thrown back in my face that I wanted another baby , yes I did but when he said absolutely not I had to just accept that and get over it and the way he’s now using the fact I wanted another baby against me in his reasoning for wanting a dog is really making me quite angry ! It’s very manipulative and I’ve told him I don’t appreciate it at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontwantapuppy · 10/08/2025 21:51

AnnaMagnani · 10/08/2025 21:47

If you are allergic to dogs he's cruel to suggest you get a puppy.

Does he prefer his wife breathing or not breathing?

At this point in time I’m not sure 😂

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2025 21:51

AnnaMagnani · 10/08/2025 21:47

If you are allergic to dogs he's cruel to suggest you get a puppy.

Does he prefer his wife breathing or not breathing?

She didn’t say she’s allergic, she said she has asthma.

Exposure to dogs in childhood may reduce asthma risk in children so that’s a possible benefit to the children.

However, dogs, like babies, require everyone’s OK.

MegaMinion34 · 10/08/2025 21:51

He's being an arse. Yes dogs aren't as much of a commitment, but they are still a big responsibility and one you should both be on the same page about.

Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that if you got a dog, he'd expect you to do all of the grunt work like cleaning up after it, feeding it, training it etc.

AnnaMagnani · 10/08/2025 21:47

If you are allergic to dogs he's cruel to suggest you get a puppy.

Does he prefer his wife breathing or not breathing?

Tiswa · 10/08/2025 21:47

Puppy’s are MORE commitment in my view - they are a toddler that just doesn’t grow up. They don’t get able to take themselves off to the toilet or out for walks or go off to (pre)school during the day. The level of commitment starts hard and remains hard

it needs BOTH parties committed to it just like a child. It is comparable and you have every right to say no

Chamomileteaplease · 10/08/2025 21:45

Like comparing apples and oranges.

What an idiot and an unkind one too.

BIossomtoes · 10/08/2025 21:45

Not all dogs slobber and some breeds are hypoallergenic, ie don’t shed or produce dander. And he’s right - a dog is less of a commitment and less expensive than another child.

Panterusblackish · 10/08/2025 21:44

Bit concerning that he doesn't understand the difference between a dog and a child.

Createausername1970 · 10/08/2025 21:43

You don't need to be making a third child - you already have one.

SlieveMiskish · 10/08/2025 21:42

He doesn’t understand the work that’s going to go into the puppy. It’s almost the same as the baby.

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