DP said no to baby 3 but thinks he can have a puppy !!!

And they have sharp teeth 😳

The puppy is harder than the na y as you can’t take it with you in many scenarios- and they don’t wear a nappy!

I wouldn’t say getting something that neither of them have any desire to get is a compromise. Also my cat probably causes me more stress than my dog.

Hahahaha 😂
Currently in the midst of raising a puppy and it’s harder than having a baby…. And I’ve got a pretty easy puppy!

The point here is not how difficult or otherwise it is to have a puppy but how OP’s DH feels he has the right of veto over something she wants but the right to insist when it’s something he wants.

OP, treat him just as he treated you.
A firm no as soon as he has finished speaking and then refuse to be drawn on the subject ever again.

I think a dog is more commitment than a child. They don’t grow up and they restrict where you can go and how long for, what work you can do potentially, and apparently the puppy stage is incredibly hard work with lots of mess to clean up. They are also noisy and slobbery and smelly and unless you love dogs I don’t think the downsides would outweigh the good.

If he wants a dog then tell him he can move out and get 20 dogs if he wants as he won’t be living with yoh!!

Also not hypoallergenic

He sounds like a twat. Baby, he doesn't want one and you acquiesce, great to him, he got what he wanted. Dog, you don't want one but that's not ok because he wants one. He's not applying the basic principle of agreement in the second situation because it doesn't suit him. Stand firm OP.

A dog is a 15 year commitment. He
needs to look ahead at what will be happening in your lives then. Tbf, It might be good timing now if the dog will be end of life as your children are grown up as you’ll get your freedom to travel and do things around then.

Puppies are hard work for about two years and then they are much calmer and good companions if they’ve been trained well. However they are a tie and certain holidays etc may be off the cards if you’d need to pay for kennels on top. They do generate mess but some breeds are worse than others. My
lurcher was very clean and hardly shed whereas my spaniel sheds a lot more.

This.

If he doesn’t want a baby don’t force him and if you don’t want a puppy he should not force you
I would bargain with a kitten less work or adapt an old cat

You're a clean freak so you don't want a puppy but you wanted a baby?

10 months since we brought our 8 week old puppy home. Id say just as much work as a toddler! If not more at times. Also you cant take them on holiday, to most accommodations etc. You cant suddenly up and leave for the day as a family as you need to sort the dog out. Bathing a toddler is fun (usually) and they dont 'shake off' like a dog getting the water EVERYWHERE. If you dont have young children then you have a LOT of time for a puppy. Doing puppy AND young children AND the kids school commitments/clubs and activities is challenging when adding in the needs of a puppy. The nose smears/licking the glass is something I didnt preempt. Puppy's are a huge commitment and tie. I would have found another baby/toddler more manageable.

10 months since we brought our 8 week old puppy home. Id say just as much work as a toddler! If not more at times. Also you cant take them on holiday, to most accommodations etc. You cant suddenly up and leave for the day as a family as you need to sort the dog out. Bathing a toddler is fun (usually) and they dont 'shake off' like a dog getting the water EVERYWHERE. If you dont have young children then you have a LOT of time for a puppy. Doing puppy AND young children AND the kids school commitments/clubs and activities is challenging when adding in the needs of a puppy. The nose smears/licking the glass is something I didnt preempt. Puppy's are a huge commitment and tie. I would have found another baby/toddler more manageable

I think a dog(I have had quite a few) is very tying. If you want to go out for more than a couple of hours then you have to either take it with you or arrange it to be looked after. Holidays a real problem, both work away from house problem. Wet weather etc.
I love my dog but it has attachments issues and howls if I even have a shower and it's left downstairs. I have had 4 kids and find the dog less expensive 😅 but more tying.

Noteably you would get leave to look after your night-waking, non-housetrained baby, but not a puppy.
So how would he enjoy going to work around looking after his puppy in those early months?

Is he usually manipulative like this OP, or is this a side of him that you haven't seen before?

We have a dog, a lovely, gorgeous black lab. I love her, but bitterly regret buying her. Stick to your guns. Dogs/puppies are way more of a committement than a new baby and a lot more expensive. P.s. I have 2 children.

Having a puppy is hard work. Training it, walks, food, cleaning up after it etc and I'm guessing most of that will fall on you

This.
The issue is not really about the puppy or the baby.

It is that when OP was told 'no', she accepted it and worked hard to come to terms with that.
When he is told 'no', he manipulates, argues, sulks, and throws previous issues back in her face.

He is basically selfish and immature. Sorry OP, there is not much you can do about that.

I’d take 10 newborns over having another puppy I tell you that 🤣 and with each life stage comes a new issue with dogs, wouldn’t change mine for the world but he definitely restricts us being able to do things/go on holiday. Also I can’t even imagine having children and a puppy, I did the puppy first 🤣

It’s pretty gross that he’s trying to use your desire for another child against you to get what he wants.

If both of you aren’t on board with any big life commitment (pets, a baby, moving, etc) it has to come off the table - forcing someone to do something just doesn’t work.

Dogs are amazing but they can be a lot of work; I’ve got friends who struggle to manage their naughty dog with their kids and another whose anxious dog limits what they can do. It’s perfectly valid to say you don’t want to that responsibility!

In the context of needing medical intervention, I’d imagine he is absolutely right, but in ordinary everyday parlance, the word allergy is used more broadly. For example, I have a serious anaphylactic allergy to wasp and hornet venom. Even the smallest amount in my skin, when I have bated away a wasp before it has stung me, has required the use of antihistamines, an EpiPen and a trip to A&E. However, anyone stung by a wasp will produce a histamine response. Some will get almost no swelling, others might get large localise swelling, without a cytokine storm. They might take antihistamines to reduce the symptoms more quickly, but their reaction isn’t deemed to be a clinical problem worthy of speaking to a doctor. Similarly, I get hay fever in May sufficient to get heavy cold symptoms at times. I sometimes need to take antihistamines, but I’ve never needed to seek medical intervention and I don’t avoid the trees whose pollen give me hay fever, in order to manage my symptoms, because I enjoy country walks. Likewise, if I had a dog allergy equivalent to my wasp venom allergy, I’d never get a dog. But if I had a dog allergy equivalent to my tree pollen allergy, I would get a dog that gave me no or fewer issues. Lastly, allergies can be managed through low levels of exposure. My wasp allergy is so life threatening that my doctor thinks that an EpiPen would not save me. I am about to undertake a course of immunotherapy in the hope that I can reduce my allergic response.