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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this so rude and awkward?

111 replies

Mightymaniac1 · 10/08/2025 11:44

Would love some other opinions as it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad- so I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it in real life!

Currently living with my parents for a short period before moving back into our house in the next week. They have been renovating their house which is in a lovely cul de sac. Think beautiful houses which are all very neatly kept with their grass etc.

They are away on holiday at the moment and my myself and my partner have been staying at their house. Their elderly parent has been very unwell so we have been visiting daily and my partner has helped me picking up drugs and administering it to my grandparent- this is adding a little bit to my frustration of the situation which is why I am adding it as a detail… bear with me!

Today there is a communal party being held at the grass square of the cul de sac they live at. Whilst being abroad (and whilst he has been helping me and looking after the house) my parents have texted me asking me to get my partner to move his work van off their drive way and to another lane. Presumably so it doesn’t ’spoil the look’ of their driveway on this garden party day.

so… AIBU to find this completely ridiculous and rude? Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

It feels as though they are embarrassed to have a van on their drive… they have had several vans on their drive way whilst their house was being renovated. I felt absolutely awful asking my fiance to hide his van down the road when he has not only been helping me with the emotional load of poorly grandparents but also lots of help for my parents to renovate this house.

I don’t want to fall out with them and would love to see another perspective which I genuinely hope I’m missing!

Thank you in advance for reading. :(

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

OP posts:
ConstitutionHill · 10/08/2025 12:55

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 10/08/2025 12:03

I think you're overthinking this. The street party will look nicer without a big van in the background, doesn't everyone think at least a bit about aesthetics for a party?

This! I think it's a reasonable request. Remember, pick your battles wisely OP.

SirRaymondClench · 10/08/2025 12:53

Sweet Jesus of Nazareth, I think there's a little more going on in the world than you and your boyfriend being asked to move a van off a drive...

Lostworlds · 10/08/2025 12:49

It’s annoying they asked but it’s not a big deal and I would have just moved it without over thinking it!

LogiLogi · 10/08/2025 12:45

It is a very minor request and easily done. I can understand why you think it is a bit ridiculous but if all the neighbours take pride in keeping their houses looking nice and this is a special day for them. Just do it.
Roll your eyes if you want but calling it rude and suggesting that you will feel awful asking your partner to do this is a bit ott, especially as it is just for this specific reason. They seem happy for his van to be parked there the rest of the time.

Bluevelvetsofa · 10/08/2025 12:42

Make sure you never move anywhere with a covenant about vans on driveways then. Presumably, living with parents has meant you’re not spending on rent while you do up your house. You should be grateful, rather than indignant.

PurpleChrayn · 10/08/2025 12:40

STOP THE PRESSES! Clear the front pages!

Woman asked to move van in suburban party shocker!

JMSA · 10/08/2025 12:40

I was in support of your parents until I read the bit where your partner has been using it to help others. Now I just feel really bad for him 🙁
Your parents sound like a cross between Hyacinth Bouquet and Stepford Wives, and they shouldn’t be so snobby and shallow.
I live on the same street as some mega wealthy people (Edinburgh old money) and they would never act like this. So it’s a bit embarrassing really.
YANBU.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 12:39

Just move the van.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/08/2025 12:38

PollyBell · 10/08/2025 12:05

It depends on who is playing the van in the movie

Show quote history

I hear its down to The Mystery Machine and the A-Teams van

ThinWomansBrain · 10/08/2025 12:38

If you're that offended, stop accepting their hospitality, go stay at a hotel and pay them market rent for the time you've been there to date.

jhmlwos · 10/08/2025 12:37

Totally reasonable of them, and normal. Let’s kids play, opens up area.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/08/2025 12:37

Just move the damn van, they want a nice aesthetic for one day in a street that sounds like they take huge pride in how it looks. Yes he's helping you with things in the house but they are letting you stay there so its not really a huge favour for them is it.

And if the Daily Mail decides that your parents van concerns are front page worthy, which they might, it's a big deal! they're going to do it anyway 😂

TeamBuffalo · 10/08/2025 12:36

You are being given free accommodation. Don't quibble over a very minor request.

BallerinaRadio · 10/08/2025 12:34

Well what a huge anticlimax that was.

NightPuffins · 10/08/2025 12:34

Gosh you sound like a spoiled entitled teenager!

The key word of your post is “presumably”. You don’t actually know the reason, you don’t seem to have asked, you’ve just made an assumption based on your clear judgement of where your parents live.

Weird that you refer to your parents’ parent, rather than your grandparent!

No one wants to look at a big van when they are at a party. Just move the van.

Skybluepinky · 10/08/2025 12:33

Just move the van.

rainbowstardrops · 10/08/2025 12:22

Just bloody move it for a few hours! Fucks sake

Lmnop22 · 10/08/2025 12:21

Christ, they’re letting you live in their house and you won’t even move a van to give a nicer aesthetic to the street and more space for a street party for one afternoon??

LaMarschallin · 10/08/2025 12:21

pinkfondu · 10/08/2025 12:17

If they’d said it wasn’t to be parked on the drive the whole time you were staying that would be different

Hmm...
This could give the OP ideas for the drip feed 🤔

IMissSparkling · 10/08/2025 12:20

I would have just ignored them. They're not even at the street party so why do they care?!

PollyannaNibbs · 10/08/2025 12:18

If it was my parents I'd just move it. I might roll my eyes slightly when asking fiance to move it, but it's not all that much trouble surely?

I think it probably is a bit of an eyesore.

pinkfondu · 10/08/2025 12:17

If they’d said it wasn’t to be parked on the drive the whole time you were staying that would be different

TheFlis · 10/08/2025 12:11

It’s odd that you refer to the elderly relative as “their parent” rather than your grandparent and sad that you seem to resent helping to look after them for a few days.

LaMarschallin · 10/08/2025 12:08

Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

Bear in mind said house and driveway is being used to house you and your partner. "Most gratefully" I expect.

Maybe they're being a bit Hyacinth Bucket-y, but really!
Is it such a big deal?

Up to you if you want to fall out with them, but I wouldn’t in your position.

Scarydinosaurs · 10/08/2025 12:06

Just move the van. You’re making a drama where there isn’t one.

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