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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this so rude and awkward?

111 replies

Mightymaniac1 · 10/08/2025 11:44

Would love some other opinions as it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad- so I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it in real life!

Currently living with my parents for a short period before moving back into our house in the next week. They have been renovating their house which is in a lovely cul de sac. Think beautiful houses which are all very neatly kept with their grass etc.

They are away on holiday at the moment and my myself and my partner have been staying at their house. Their elderly parent has been very unwell so we have been visiting daily and my partner has helped me picking up drugs and administering it to my grandparent- this is adding a little bit to my frustration of the situation which is why I am adding it as a detail… bear with me!

Today there is a communal party being held at the grass square of the cul de sac they live at. Whilst being abroad (and whilst he has been helping me and looking after the house) my parents have texted me asking me to get my partner to move his work van off their drive way and to another lane. Presumably so it doesn’t ’spoil the look’ of their driveway on this garden party day.

so… AIBU to find this completely ridiculous and rude? Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

It feels as though they are embarrassed to have a van on their drive… they have had several vans on their drive way whilst their house was being renovated. I felt absolutely awful asking my fiance to hide his van down the road when he has not only been helping me with the emotional load of poorly grandparents but also lots of help for my parents to renovate this house.

I don’t want to fall out with them and would love to see another perspective which I genuinely hope I’m missing!

Thank you in advance for reading. :(

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
chaosmaker · 13/08/2025 16:45

I still think it's crap to move a vehicle on a drive to park somewhere else when there is NO NEED. The neighbours are not considering the taking up space on another road and how that could inconvenience others just for a stupid reason.

LilacReader · 12/08/2025 09:50

So, they've done you a favour (living), you've done them favours (with van) and now they're asking for another favour.

From update, I'm glad to see van is moved - I really wouldn't dwell on this, much bigger things will happen in your life I'm sure!

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 12/08/2025 09:10

Mightymaniac1 · 11/08/2025 20:01

It was moved as soon as they messaged- not sure why people need to swear in responses to me, makes me feel great about this community!

Oh come the fuck on, that's the only thing you've taken from this thread? You know we're all adults here right?

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 12/08/2025 09:04

Mightymaniac1 · 11/08/2025 20:01

It was moved as soon as they messaged- not sure why people need to swear in responses to me, makes me feel great about this community!

Of all the advice you've got, you decide to focus on the swearing minority, no thank yous or self reflection.

Todayismyfavouriteday · 12/08/2025 03:22

Just move the van. May all our troubles be the scale of this one.

Bleachedlevis · 11/08/2025 23:45

Mightymaniac1 · 10/08/2025 11:44

Would love some other opinions as it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad- so I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it in real life!

Currently living with my parents for a short period before moving back into our house in the next week. They have been renovating their house which is in a lovely cul de sac. Think beautiful houses which are all very neatly kept with their grass etc.

They are away on holiday at the moment and my myself and my partner have been staying at their house. Their elderly parent has been very unwell so we have been visiting daily and my partner has helped me picking up drugs and administering it to my grandparent- this is adding a little bit to my frustration of the situation which is why I am adding it as a detail… bear with me!

Today there is a communal party being held at the grass square of the cul de sac they live at. Whilst being abroad (and whilst he has been helping me and looking after the house) my parents have texted me asking me to get my partner to move his work van off their drive way and to another lane. Presumably so it doesn’t ’spoil the look’ of their driveway on this garden party day.

so… AIBU to find this completely ridiculous and rude? Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

It feels as though they are embarrassed to have a van on their drive… they have had several vans on their drive way whilst their house was being renovated. I felt absolutely awful asking my fiance to hide his van down the road when he has not only been helping me with the emotional load of poorly grandparents but also lots of help for my parents to renovate this house.

I don’t want to fall out with them and would love to see another perspective which I genuinely hope I’m missing!

Thank you in advance for reading. :(

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

Just move it. Why the objection?

FeetLikeFlippers · 11/08/2025 22:23

I’m surprised at the dismissive responses because parental relationships can be very complicated. A perceived judgement or criticism from a parent can feel very hurtful even when you’re an adult, and it could well be that you’re particularly sensitive to it because of other aspects of your relationship with them. My Mum was very passive-aggressive and judgmental so a seemingly innocuous comment from her could easily lead me to overthink things and speculate about her motives and get upset.

nomas · 11/08/2025 21:46

It’s about showing off their garden, not that your van is beneath them.

If this is the worst of your parents, count yourself lucky.

GiveDogBone · 11/08/2025 21:20

Ok, I just finished laughing at your comment in news sites. It’s been 20 minutes.

To all those people saying you’d be happy to move cars that are in the way of a street party. ITS NOT IN THE WAY! It’s parked on their driveway.

They’re batshit crazy. I mean presumably everybody can and has seen it the last week while you’re staying there. I mean moving it so it returns the next day is likely to cause as much commentary as leaving it there for the duration

Speckly · 11/08/2025 21:18

So have the neighbours actually messaged your parents, while they’re on holiday, to ask for the van to be moved??? 😳 That’s hilarious! You’re just not their kind of people darling 😉

independentfriend · 11/08/2025 20:14

Actually, move the van to avoid it becoming blocked in by people/ tables in the street. I imagine you don't know the layout of the party to be sure it won't be blocked in.

I don't really grok the aesthetics argument but having the van / any car blocked in whilst a party is going on for hours is potentially really annoying.

Is there a need for longer conversations about the grandparent's ongoing support needs when your parents are back?

Original poster
Mightymaniac1 · 11/08/2025 20:01

It was moved as soon as they messaged- not sure why people need to swear in responses to me, makes me feel great about this community!

OP posts:
chatgptsbestmate · 11/08/2025 18:35

Move the fucking van 🙄

ScrambledEggs12 · 11/08/2025 18:33

I've seen more boring stories on our local TV news, so I think this really should be in the national papers.

GentleJadeOP · 11/08/2025 18:29

Just move it, no problem

Spinmerightroundbaby · 11/08/2025 18:27

Mightymaniac1 · 10/08/2025 11:44

Would love some other opinions as it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad- so I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it in real life!

Currently living with my parents for a short period before moving back into our house in the next week. They have been renovating their house which is in a lovely cul de sac. Think beautiful houses which are all very neatly kept with their grass etc.

They are away on holiday at the moment and my myself and my partner have been staying at their house. Their elderly parent has been very unwell so we have been visiting daily and my partner has helped me picking up drugs and administering it to my grandparent- this is adding a little bit to my frustration of the situation which is why I am adding it as a detail… bear with me!

Today there is a communal party being held at the grass square of the cul de sac they live at. Whilst being abroad (and whilst he has been helping me and looking after the house) my parents have texted me asking me to get my partner to move his work van off their drive way and to another lane. Presumably so it doesn’t ’spoil the look’ of their driveway on this garden party day.

so… AIBU to find this completely ridiculous and rude? Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

It feels as though they are embarrassed to have a van on their drive… they have had several vans on their drive way whilst their house was being renovated. I felt absolutely awful asking my fiance to hide his van down the road when he has not only been helping me with the emotional load of poorly grandparents but also lots of help for my parents to renovate this house.

I don’t want to fall out with them and would love to see another perspective which I genuinely hope I’m missing!

Thank you in advance for reading. :(

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

I think YABU. Maybe they want space on the driveway for guests to park there?

WonderingWanda · 10/08/2025 16:17

You should contact the newspapers yourself, you could earn yourself £50 and get a mugshot of you both in the local paper stood next to the tone lowering work van pulling sad faces.

ginasevern · 10/08/2025 16:13

Just move the van OP. It's no big deal. Yeah, your fiance might huff and puff a bit (men usually do) but if he goes beyond that then reconsider your relationship.

SnackAckerTack · 10/08/2025 15:49

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

Haha

Move the van. They dont want the van in any photos of the day. Move it.

Shinyandnew1 · 10/08/2025 15:36

She said they're waiting to move into one.

Where did the OP say that?

She said they were living at her parents and moving back into their house.

Absentmindedsmile · 10/08/2025 15:35

Move the van

HauntedDreams · 10/08/2025 15:14

it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad

I hope, after reading all the replies saying YABU, you realise that it isn’t your parents who look bad making the perfectly reasonable request.

TimeForATerf · 10/08/2025 15:02

Tbh, I hate to see a transit van on a drive at any time, I’m with your parents. They have to live there and it’s their neighbours, just love it for the day.

WeekendFreedom · 10/08/2025 14:57

NotTheHair · 10/08/2025 14:17

I'm from Hello magazine and I'll fight you for this story. It's absolute dynamite!
Exclusive rights please OP! I'll pay you in Snowflake bars.

Show quote history

I’ll double whatever they offer OP… please contact me

thatsnothtepoint · 10/08/2025 14:56

The request to move the van could have had nothing to do with either snobbishness or aesthetics but instead concern for OP's partner's van. Footballs and cricket balls don't stop in mid-flight when they encounter a private driveway. Neither do little kids racing around on bikes/scooters.

See how everything changes when you look at things from a different point of view @Mightymaniac1?