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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 16:20

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 16:12

No.
I've based all of my comments on what OP has written and actual experience.

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Clearly not. If you had actual experience of this train route you would know where the priority seats are and that questioning if OP had checked the priority seats were available was redundant. You would also know what and who is considered priority seating. You also haven't based it on OPs comments as you are dismissing her very clear statements and adding your own narrative about OP 'faffing.'

And considering the AMOUNT of times you have tried to catch OP out, if you could have answered back to my other points, you absolutely would have.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 16:19

Makingitupaswegoalong · 10/08/2025 15:31

it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour

We were on a rush hour train from London with two young kids last week because they had a filming job in London. Why were you entitled to travel at the time any more than they were?

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My point is the utter bafflement of these parents when a packed train draws up on the platform. I couldn’t give a toss when you travel, just don’t expect a seat or a particularly pleasant journey.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 16:17

JaneEyre40 · 10/08/2025 15:18

Sometimes people with kids need to use the train at rush hour! Bringing kids to and from nursery! So sorry it upsets you 🙄

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I said days out! I can tell the difference between kids on a day out, often in groups, to children going to school or nursery! I imagine parents who use trains to take their children to nursery don’t act surprised when the train is packed 🙄.

BIWI · 10/08/2025 16:16

How can you prove that though? You’re just spreading misinformation - at best. Disinformation at worst.

NidaNearby · 10/08/2025 16:15

BIWI · 10/08/2025 14:10

Nice bit of xenophobia there @NidaNearby Hmm
It’s the Londoners - many of whom are relatively new to the UK and don’t understand British train etiquette conventions - who are the problem. They’re the ones pushing and jostling.

It’s not xenophobia if it’s true.

WaneyEdge · 10/08/2025 16:14

BIWI · 10/08/2025 16:12

And if you’d read the whole thread, you’ll see that I apologised for my mistake!

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Apologies, I typed out a longer message then deleted it as too long and the thread had moved on a lot by then!

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 16:13

Picklelily99 · 10/08/2025 14:02

Ah, so you expect families to accommodate your travelling times? Perhaps you could post your schedule?

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I don’t expect anything, but I imagine and hope that most sensible parents would avoid rush hour on days out.

BIWI · 10/08/2025 16:13

Addictedtohotbaths · 10/08/2025 15:52

I’ve been getting the high speed every week for years, I’ve never seen a reserved seat.

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And if you’d read the whole thread, you’ll see that I apologised for my mistake!

BIWI · 10/08/2025 16:12

WaneyEdge · 10/08/2025 16:01

No you can’t. Many operators don’t have reservable seats; it’s usually only the long distance ones.

When you book in advance, you are given a ‘counted place’ when it is on a route/with an operator that doesn’t have seat bookings.

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And if you’d read the whole thread, you’ll see that I apologised for my mistake!

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 16:12

Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 16:10

Like the majority of your comments on here.

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No.
I've based all of my comments on what OP has written and actual experience.

Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 16:10

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 16:06

I ignored the rest after seeing it was based on an inaccuracy.

Edited
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Like the majority of your comments on here.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 16:06

Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 16:04

Apologies, ignore the bit about booking and just read the rest.

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I ignored the rest after seeing it was based on an inaccuracy.

Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 16:04

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:50

I didn't once suggest booking seats, so not sure what you're actually on about. HTH.

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Apologies, ignore the bit about booking and just read the rest.

Breadcat24 · 10/08/2025 16:04

To be honest I have always thought it poor that they could sell more tickets than seats from a safety perspective- however how they would manage this with open ended walk on tickets I do not know.

WaneyEdge · 10/08/2025 16:01

BIWI · 10/08/2025 11:05

@EmJA85 Trainline ask you if you want to book seats

See here

And this is the fast train

No you can’t. Many operators don’t have reservable seats; it’s usually only the long distance ones.

When you book in advance, you are given a ‘counted place’ when it is on a route/with an operator that doesn’t have seat bookings.

Train etiquette
TigerRag · 10/08/2025 15:59

Mumofyellows · 10/08/2025 15:36

Unfortunately people are generally arseholes when it comes to public transport, I absolutely hate going on the train to London people everyone is completely self absorbed with no concept of anyone else. Don't take it personally!

I hate going through London too. I've just come back from there. I'm visually impaired and use a mobility cane and have booked assistance. Can't believe the amount of people who are too engrossed in their phone who are shocked that they're asked to move or look where they're going

shakeitoffshakeacocktail · 10/08/2025 15:58

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 10:56

I’m not sure what day you travelled but it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour. And then act so surprised that the trains are absolutely packed. Wish they’d use some common sense. In your case, there’s no train etiquette any more, it’s every man and woman for themselves, unfortunately.

This

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:53

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 15:47

so despite some pp insisting that OP is getting a hard time, it is partly because it is like getting blood out of a stone.
After several obfuscations we hear that she was indeed faffing at the doorway trying to fold the buggy.
We still have zip idea what the other adult was doing, presumably looking on with his mind in neutral? who knows

What actually happened is that OP faffed about, did get a seat and is actually complaining that people weren't gazing at her (pfb?) offspring in rapt wonder instead of just getting on with their (frazzled) journey.

Exactly, thanks for summing this up

OP posts:
Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:52

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 15:43

19 pages and we still don't know what DH was doing all this time.

Helping. He was folding buggy and finding somewhere to stand with that. But maybe that wasn’t enough, I might look into divorce . I’d like to point out that if he was holding the child, he also would have been entitled to priority seating, doesn’t specify gender in the guide lines and equality is important

OP posts:
Addictedtohotbaths · 10/08/2025 15:52

BIWI · 10/08/2025 11:02

Yes you can.

I’ve been getting the high speed every week for years, I’ve never seen a reserved seat.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:50

Matronic6 · 10/08/2025 15:41

Having read several of your comments, it's quite obvious you have very limited understanding of how these trains work. You absolutely cannot book these seats. As OP was a person carrying a young child she is deemed to be a priority for a seat. These priority seats are literally at the end of each carriage, not in one designated carriage. So seeing as she walked onto the carriage where the seats are she definitely did check the priority seating space.

I doubt she checked every single priority seat on every single carriage. This was probably because she was likely barely able to move on the packed train not because her and her husband were faffing or unorganised.

OP, as someone who regularly uses London trains I sympathise. People have become incredibly selfish and seem to have an every man for their own mentality. I do find it quite jarring as I was brought up to be aware of and considerate of others but a lot of people have zero empathy. As evidenced numerous time ok this thread.

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I didn't once suggest booking seats, so not sure what you're actually on about. HTH.

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 15:47

TaborlinTheGreat · 10/08/2025 15:45

Yes we do - he was carrying the buggy.

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sorry missed that. Beyond his manly capability to have been carrying the heavier object?

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 15:47

so despite some pp insisting that OP is getting a hard time, it is partly because it is like getting blood out of a stone.
After several obfuscations we hear that she was indeed faffing at the doorway trying to fold the buggy.
We still have zip idea what the other adult was doing, presumably looking on with his mind in neutral? who knows

What actually happened is that OP faffed about, did get a seat and is actually complaining that people weren't gazing at her (pfb?) offspring in rapt wonder instead of just getting on with their (frazzled) journey.

Lavenderflower · 10/08/2025 15:45

I think you have to be pretty brave to travel with young children on a train - I don't think it is a realistic expectation that someone would give up their seat. I think people are generally happy to give up a seat for a short journey - but not 1 hour. Perhaps it may be sensible to only travel when you can book seat or for a quick journey.

TaborlinTheGreat · 10/08/2025 15:45

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 15:43

19 pages and we still don't know what DH was doing all this time.

Yes we do - he was carrying the buggy.