Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 08:06

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 08:03

if you read the thread , I’m only like that with certain posters, the ones stiring the pot…. If I keep them busy on here , they won’t have time to go hassle someone else.
Anyway, as much as I’ve enjoyed chatting to you all, I have to go to work now, one of those working moms 😬 🙄
keep up the good fight for whatever it is you’re fighting for.
I’m sure our paths will cross again one day but it won’t be on mumsnet , that’s for sure

Show quote history

Stirring the pot aka presenting a different, yet valid, viewpoint.
You've just made a ridiculous childish dig at me, yet I've not been rude to you at all. That tells us all we need to know.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 08:05

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:56

Agreed.
Her comments are starting to read like school bully.

Show quote history

Or like someone able to stand up against the bullies 👀

OP posts:
Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 08:03

summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:46

''@EmJA85
Why are you still going on about it 🤣''

Because I am always willing to listen to other people's point of view and see whether I might have jumped to conclusion.

However in this case my first impression seems to have been correct...

I must say OP that you are also doing yourself no favour by the way you are responding to comments on this thread.

It all comes across as very immature and goading.

if you read the thread , I’m only like that with certain posters, the ones stiring the pot…. If I keep them busy on here , they won’t have time to go hassle someone else.
Anyway, as much as I’ve enjoyed chatting to you all, I have to go to work now, one of those working moms 😬 🙄
keep up the good fight for whatever it is you’re fighting for.
I’m sure our paths will cross again one day but it won’t be on mumsnet , that’s for sure

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:58

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:39

how old are your kids? You male or female? You single?

Show quote history

Is this your way of attempting to suggest I'm not who I say I am, because I don't agree with you? You realise that I could make up whatever I like, if I was sad enough to be pretending, right?

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:56

summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:46

''@EmJA85
Why are you still going on about it 🤣''

Because I am always willing to listen to other people's point of view and see whether I might have jumped to conclusion.

However in this case my first impression seems to have been correct...

I must say OP that you are also doing yourself no favour by the way you are responding to comments on this thread.

It all comes across as very immature and goading.

Agreed.
Her comments are starting to read like school bully.

summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:46

''@EmJA85
Why are you still going on about it 🤣''

Because I am always willing to listen to other people's point of view and see whether I might have jumped to conclusion.

However in this case my first impression seems to have been correct...

I must say OP that you are also doing yourself no favour by the way you are responding to comments on this thread.

It all comes across as very immature and goading.

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:39

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:37

Of course, but there's also a lot of parents (like me) who are giving constructive advice. Preparation is key. ✌️

Show quote history

how old are your kids? You male or female? You single?

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Of course, but there's also a lot of parents (like me) who are giving constructive advice. Preparation is key. ✌️

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:35

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:33

Why are you still going on about it 🤣

Show quote history

Why did you start going on about it?

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 07:35

EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:26

Look into incel and anti natalism

Show quote history

While I don't doubt these types are present on MN, folk suggesting how you could have been a bit more proactive in making things easier for yourself definitely isn't that. Lesson learnt. Have the buggy folded ready, and make sure DH is playing his part to help too.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:33

summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:32

I have already commented earlier.

But reading this thread further I still can't see any reason why two healthy parents travelling with one child and who only had to fold their buggy in advance to make boarding the train straightforward would need to complain when THEY caused a nuisance by insisting in bringing the buggy onboard unfolded.

Completely unreasonable and untitled.

Why are you still going on about it 🤣

OP posts:
summerskyblue · 11/08/2025 07:32

I have already commented earlier.

But reading this thread further I still can't see any reason why two healthy parents travelling with one child and who only had to fold their buggy in advance to make boarding the train straightforward would need to complain when THEY caused a nuisance by insisting in bringing the buggy onboard unfolded.

Completely unreasonable and untitled.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 11/08/2025 07:26

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

Look into incel and anti natalism

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 06:55

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

It's not mum bashing, it's explaining how OP, and her bl**dy husband, could have been more prepared. Nobody has said anything about her skills as a parent.

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 01:01

OP - the rest of the would be passengers were impolite & selfish.

getting a train is an absolute nightmare with smalls. You need to go prepared for war. Or rugby.

it’s easier when there is an army of parents with smalls but buggy parking becomes an issue

you did well in the circumstances tbh

i found a sling & backpack easier in those days. & the bus was my favoured mode of transport

worth learning to drive & getting a car, if you haven’t already.

incognitomummy · 11/08/2025 00:56

Why are MN mum bashing?
absolutely the opposite of the sisterhood.

BlondeAussie · 11/08/2025 00:47

OP:

EmJA85 · Yesterday 11:05
No, if you read my post you would see the issue is that I was literally trying to get on and there first and they pushed me out the way

Also OP:

EmJA85 · Yesterday 11:24

It wasn’t a working day. It was the fast train from Margate to King’s Cross on a Saturday. Obviously I didn’t expect old people etc to get up and again if you actually read the post . The issue wasn’t about people pushing me out the way

Not too sure what the issue actually was, then?????

Petitchat · 11/08/2025 00:07

DamsonGoldfinch · 10/08/2025 19:36

This thread is a stellar exemplar of mumsnet’s stated aim of making parents’ lives easier. NOT 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Laying into a woman who is a bit pissed off that she had to ask for a seat so she didn’t have to stand all the way to London for an hour. Telling her that she should have booked a seat. Telling her that they should have gone to the other end of the train, that her husband was useless, that basically it was ALL HER FAULT.

I can remember how brutal it was taking little children out for a day on public transport with little experience. Very sad that so many other mums don’t seem to be able to remember it and/or are just enjoying giving a mum of a baby a good kicking.

Edited

Yeah, I've just been on another thread that was mum bashing.
Shame, seems to be getting more common on mumsnet these days.....

Petitchat · 11/08/2025 00:03

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 19:31

Of course they can. They can take their children on a train during rush hour.If they choose. I wouldn't argue with that.

I would say they have no right to complain the train is overcrowded, though. If you travel in rush hour, expect it to be crowded.

Show quote history

OP DID expect it to be busy, she said so in her post?
She didn't complain that the train was overcrowded?

Have you read the wrong OP?

Petitchat · 10/08/2025 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What if you have a 9.00.am appointment at a childrens hospital dept?

You've not really thought that through, have you?

Looking forward to you coming into mumsnet when you have kids, to explain to us how to manage on public transport....

Harry12345 · 10/08/2025 22:45

nomas · 10/08/2025 11:20

You got a seat, not sure why you’re moaning, sounds like you wanted a parting of the Red Sea because you have a baby.

No it doesn’t, she expects some human decency and not to be pushed out the way! No wonder London gets such a bad rep, people sound awful

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 22:41

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:52

Helping. He was folding buggy and finding somewhere to stand with that. But maybe that wasn’t enough, I might look into divorce . I’d like to point out that if he was holding the child, he also would have been entitled to priority seating, doesn’t specify gender in the guide lines and equality is important

Show quote history

Live and learn OP. Next time have the buggy folded ahead of the train pulling up, so you're all ready to jump when the doors open, like everyone else does. Should go smoother then.