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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:05

No, if you read my post you would see the issue is that I was literally trying to get on and there first and they pushed me out the way

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 10/08/2025 11:05

Why do you think you deserve a seat just because you've got a kid? Trains are obviously busy at the weekends.

JazzHandsYeah · 10/08/2025 11:04

Ah @EmJA85 that makes sense. I live near Stratford, I’m disabled and use crutches to walk. Also can’t drive with this condition so I’m used to getting trains. I very rarely get a seat and have had people barge past me to get to a seat. The last time I asked someone who was sat in the designated seat for those who find it hard to stand if I could possibly sit (at Stratford interestingly), I was told to f-off and then sworn at for the rest of the journey.
People can be shits, you didn’t do anything wrong. Shrug it off and enjoy your Sunday x

Seeline · 10/08/2025 11:04

If you're used to trains in London, I'm not sure what you're complaining about.
Locals know where to stand on the platform to be perfectly aligned with train doors. If you're not in the know, then yes you have to fight your way on once you've found the carriage door.
Trains are nearly always packed. Everyone has (hopefully) paid to be on the train, but on local trains, no one has paid for a seat - so first come, first served.
Yes, it's nice if parents are offered a seat, but who's to say those already seated aren't just as in need?
And if it's at the end of a hot and tiring working day, no one is going to be impressed by a noisy toddler, no matter how cute you think he is.

chowmeinz · 10/08/2025 11:04

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:02

As ignorant as people on this thread

Edited

Your pre edit was more accurate

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:04

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:01

If you read my post properly wou would see the main issue was that people pushed me out the way to get on. Like literally pushed in front

That's what pretty much what happens with trains though, did you expect the crowd to open up for the special humans with the future of the species in their arms?

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:03

It was Saturday.

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 11:02

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 10:56

I’m not sure what day you travelled but it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour. And then act so surprised that the trains are absolutely packed. Wish they’d use some common sense. In your case, there’s no train etiquette any more, it’s every man and woman for themselves, unfortunately.

Yeah that as well. Rush hour train home from london and its full of screaming overtire children who've clearly been out for a jolly in London. Then the parents are going mental, they can't get on a train

Don't travel in rush hour when everybody's trying to get home. Working people have no choice.What time they travel home people on a day out absolutely do.

If you travel in rush hour, the train is going to be rammed, and given that I spend abojt £3500 pounds a year on my annual London pass i'm not giving way for a toddler and buggy.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:02

As ignorant as people on this thread

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:02

One man had 2 bikes? (missing point entirely …..).

For those saying they’re irritated by families who travel during rush hours, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation to go to a seaside town on a Saturday and not be shoved out of the way by rude people.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:02

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:00

It was the weekend and a reasonable time to travel

Any time is a reasonable time for dmy person to travel, however some trains are busier than others.

BIWI · 10/08/2025 11:02

Yes you can.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:01

No you can’t on the fast trains

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 10/08/2025 11:01

Getting on a train isn't based on how early you get there

Getting there 30 minutes early just makes it harder for you cos there's longer to wait

But no one should be pushing no

If people give dirty looks just give them dirty looks back.

But none of this is worth getting hung up on. Trains aren't great sometimes but it's just a method of getting us somewhere. Shrug and move on

Katemax82 · 10/08/2025 11:01

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:51

side note, obviously I stopped him drumming on the table , he just kept attempting it which made life harder but I wasn’t going to stop him chatting

Edited

On a bus in Norfolk my then 1 year old daughter was babbling and some twat said "for fucks sake!"
I went and sat upstairs with my husband and son as I was so upset, when id looked round in a Richard e grant in with nail and I "which fucker said that" way, no one would even look at me so I've no idea who it was. Intolerant twats

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:01

If you read my post properly wou would see the main issue was that people pushed me out the way to get on. Like literally pushed in front

OP posts:
SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 10/08/2025 11:01

I don’t think there’s such a thing as train etiquette. In circumstances like yours, you need to have the nerve to speak up for yourself and you did. It shouldn’t be necessary but it is, and it sounds like you did just fine to me.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:00

It was the weekend and a reasonable time to travel

OP posts:
BIWI · 10/08/2025 10:59

… and you absolutely can book seats on those trains.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:58

Fast train, no local stops. I live in Stratford

OP posts:
YellowZebraStripes · 10/08/2025 10:57

Were you expecting a red carpet? 😂There was a train, you managed to get on, someone gave you a seat, it was quite busy. I don't see how this was anyone else fault - someone with bikes can only get on at certain carriages of the train.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:57

I obviously didn’t let him drum on the table , I assumed that was a given

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 10:57

Direct your anger at the train company for not providing enough space (longer and/or more frequent trains), not the other travellers who have every much as right to a seat/space as you.
Did you expect them all to stop and let you on first or something?

Mousehi · 10/08/2025 10:56

If you're getting folkestone to London chances are a lot of people get off more locally so you'd get a seat at the next stop usually.

I'd also invest in a buggy for days out. If your child is toddling and sitting up well you can get a lightweight umbrella stroller that can then be stored in the overhead luggage rack.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 10:56

I’m not sure what day you travelled but it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour. And then act so surprised that the trains are absolutely packed. Wish they’d use some common sense. In your case, there’s no train etiquette any more, it’s every man and woman for themselves, unfortunately.

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