Train etiquette

To be honest, I would have tutted at you or inwardly rolled my eyes, if you hadn’t collapsed your buggy in advance knowing that the train would be busy and although I wouldn’t have pushed past, if stressed myself, I would have likely said something especially as we used to have an easy fold buggy, one hand job. (Child in sling, backpack on, fold buggy one hand and I always did that in advance if I knew the train would be busy.) However I would have given up my seat, and smiled at the chatting and if you’d been trying to fold before train came, helped you out, so I’m not completely horrid.

This is good advice.

I'm missing the part where you read that because you made it up.

I’ve noticed a distinct decline in public transport etiquette in recent years. People shoving onto trains without letting others off first, playing music out loud on speakers, having video call conversations on loudspeaker, not giving up seats to people who need them more etc.

I know you live in Stratford, but honestly the half hour early that you got to the station would have been better spent taking the train in the opposite direction to the London terminus and then getting the benefit of getting on there to get a seat. Next time I’d recommend that. The trains sit at the platforms for a lot longer and you can actually board the train early and get settled in.

Yep. Dog with a bone.

We don't know anyone 'literally did shove her out of the way' though, and faffing (when it could have been done 5 mins earlier) is a pain.

I’m guessing you weren’t standing where the doors happened to line up? people don’t really queue for trains like buses. When they are busy you are expected to fold pushchairs but you did nothing wrong asking if you could have a seat - remember people can’t always see you on busy trains to be able to give their seat up to you. Ignore any staring at you talking, that’s a rude London thing, doesn’t happen elsewhere in the country. I suspect you just got unlucky and it was a particularly busy train

I think we all know what OP meant when she said it wasn't a working day

Getting a bit silly now

Who?

So what? That doesn’t excuse atrocious behaviour by anybody.

Yes, but women, or females at least, are the only people who can get pregnant. 🫣

I did a lot of travelling on trains with DC when they were young, and yes it - and other people - can be a nightmare.

If you know a route well, you can often adapt it a bit or get to know where the good seats are to help.

On my local trains (southern), the carriage with extra space for a wheelchair has doors marked red on the outside, so you can easily see which it is. That's a good one if you have a pushchair.

I would get on with my toddler still in the pushchair and sit at the seat which had space for the pushchair in front. Of course I would have moved if a wheelchair user got on but it was very rare.

I also amended a regular route so we would join
our connection a couple of stops earlier, at the terminus, specifically so we get a much better chance of a seat. It adds about 20 minutes to our 2 hour journey but it's worth it.

YANBU to expect people to be a bit more considerate, but sadly that just isn't the way it is around busy London trains.

Now the DC are older, I'm afraid I might be part of the problem! If we're travelling with a few of us together and would like a table, I've trained DD to weave (not push!) her way through the crowds to get ahead and save a table for us.

DP (a driver and not a regular train user if he can help it) stands there saying "after you" and I tell him you can't do that on trains, it's the law of the jungle out there!

Indeed, stupid argument. So what if OP was “faffing” (dealing with getting a buggy onto a train). That doesn’t make it acceptable to literally shove her out of the way. My husband is slow with his walking stick. Is it ok to shove him out of the way? (good luck with that 😁) Or a person with poor eyesight or learning difficulties who might take a bit more time? No, it isn’t.

Can you please read the whole thread before making silly assumptions.
My comment about folk working on Saturday was in response to OPs assertion that Saturday isn't a working day. It is actually a working day for many, as is Sunday. 🫣

Then don’t moan and complain when people don’t want to use public transport and use their cars instead.

Women are people too

The UK is getting worse as far behaviour in public spaces goes. However, your husband should have held your child and you could have just rested the folded buggy on the floor and steadied it. Men have much greater upper body strength and, if he is taller than you, child would have been held higher and more comfortably. In a country where people have better manners, you wouldn't have been shoved and somebody would have offered you a seat. IME There are worse places. I was literally shoved off a train in Italy and thankful I didn't break my neck.

My comment was in response to OP suggesting Saturday wasn't a working day. Loads of folk work on Saturdays so folk like OP can have their weekend fun.

People pushed me
Pushed in front of me

So what was your husband doing when people were man handing you and pushing you out of the way???

I didn't even suggest that.
My comment was in response to OP suggesting Saturday wasn't a working day.
If you're going to pick on all my posts because I disagreed with you, at least get the context. HTH

Or Sundays, because some people work then too 🤣

You had a shitty train experience OP. I guarantee every single other person on that train had an equally shitty experience.
You'll be better prepared for next time.

I always give my seat to someone carrying DC. A lady carrying a newborn was on my train last week, also standing. I asked her if she wanted me to ask someone to give her a seat but she declined. She did want a seat though as she got one 15 mins later. No-one offered.