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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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Takoneko · 10/08/2025 11:47

ParvuliThankYouDebbie · 10/08/2025 11:41

She wasn’t going from Stratford, she was at the coast going back to Stratford.

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Ah… yes. I clearly need to learn to read better. Ignore me.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:47

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:46

No, I'm pointing out that her perspective may not be what actually happened (as explained in my other post).

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Sure you are. Have a nice afternoon.

FanofLeaves · 10/08/2025 11:46

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:45

People don't work at the seaside then?

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Yes. That’s where they would be then isn’t it? Not on the train. Unless you think an army of workers were returning to London after doing a day’s shift at a tourist beach spot?

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:46

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:45

OK, mate. You’re getting offensive to OP. Calling her a liar.

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No, I'm pointing out that her perspective may not be what actually happened (as explained in my other post).

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:45

FanofLeaves · 10/08/2025 11:42

What’s your point? These weren’t the people on the train. The ‘people who make parts of OP’s life possible’ by working on Saturdays, would presumably have been…working. Not getting the train at the seaside.

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People don't work at the seaside then?

DobryWieczor · 10/08/2025 11:45

I always think public transport is a bit mixed. On the one hand lots of people getting on without waiting for others to get off on the tube (more than I remember in the past!) but on the other someone actually offered me a seat with my baby on board badge recently and I often see people helping strangers lift buggies or suitcases up and down the tube steps. Chalk it up to a bad experience.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:45

Never said I had to be treated differently, if you read the post. I was expecting to be treated the same as how I would treat anyone. When trains come, I do not push past anyone. I treat everyone with respect and if I do see a woman with a child or someone struggling I offer help. I don’t shove them out the way or moan at them

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:45

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:41

Yes, because every time an OP tells us something it's 100% accurate.

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OK, mate. You’re getting offensive to OP. Calling her a liar.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:44

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:41

If you seriously don’t think pushing a woman and child out of the way is atrocious behaviour, I can’t help you I’m afraid.

Made it up? What a ridiculous, childish comment 🤣

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Again, we don't know they specifically pushed her. At a busy train entrance people are just generally pushing, and if you're at the front (and perhaps unprepared) then you'll feel all the shoves even if not directly touching you.
I don't blame OP for feeling frustrated but I'm not sure what she actually expected either.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:43

Not all women are pregnant but yes, biologically I’m pretty sure all pregnant people are women or so I’ve been led to believe 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:42

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:40

Like you commenting on everything I write, without context?

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What on earth are you talking about? You’re making ridiculous comments. It’s a public forum. I have commented on just a few of those ridiculous comments. If that offends you, perhaps public forums aren’t for you?

Brefugee · 10/08/2025 11:42

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:55

I live in London and don’t have a car so I’ve been on plenty of trains. If you read my post, you would see, I said I couldn’t walk to the next carriage because the train and platform were too busy. There wasn’t enough time in this instance. Not everyone on the platform made it on the train. The man with the bikes was already on the train when it got to my stop. I couldn’t walk down the train because the isles were full of people standing. I literally go anywhere but off the train or on the train where I was stood. My husband carried the buggy and stood holding it folded . I took the baby. And to clarify , I was stood my the door attempting to get on the train with my baby and people were pushing me no out the way

Edited

so next time your husband carries the heavier burden? it*s not rocket science.

But as pp said: you got on, someone gave you a seat and you're STILL complaininng?

TeamBuffalo · 10/08/2025 11:42

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:09

I would like to stress the main issue wasn’t the seat and I actually always give up seats to older people , pregnant people , people with crutches etc . The issue wasn’t the overall experience, the combination of rudeness and lack of empathy from others

I think you are a bit over-optimistic to expect 'empathy'; to your fellow-passengers you are another body in a crowded space, essentially no different from any other, and their priority, like yours, is just to get on the train. The best strategy is to find out which trains are likely to be crowded and try to avoid them.

FanofLeaves · 10/08/2025 11:42

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:39

Yes, we know she decided to dismiss all the people who work at weekends, people who make parts of her life possible. How dare these tired people not prioritise her needs.

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What’s your point? These weren’t the people on the train. The ‘people who make parts of OP’s life possible’ by working on Saturdays, would presumably have been…working. Not getting the train at the seaside.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:41

Like mentioned , wasn’t faffing mate 🤣 Was struggling to get the buggy on, this thread has actually cheered me up. Been highly enlightening and entertaining so I would like to thank you all . Made my day 😊

OP posts:
ParvuliThankYouDebbie · 10/08/2025 11:41

Takoneko · 10/08/2025 11:36

I’ve noticed a distinct decline in public transport etiquette in recent years. People shoving onto trains without letting others off first, playing music out loud on speakers, having video call conversations on loudspeaker, not giving up seats to people who need them more etc.

I know you live in Stratford, but honestly the half hour early that you got to the station would have been better spent taking the train in the opposite direction to the London terminus and then getting the benefit of getting on there to get a seat. Next time I’d recommend that. The trains sit at the platforms for a lot longer and you can actually board the train early and get settled in.

She wasn’t going from Stratford, she was at the coast going back to Stratford.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:41

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:38

Of course we do. OP told us in her first post that people “literally pushed us out of the way”.

Yes, because every time an OP tells us something it's 100% accurate.

letstrythatagain · 10/08/2025 11:41

Can't get over the responses on this thread. Guess it reflects the way people treat each other when getting in a train...

OP I don't know why you are getting such a hard time here. I hope I'm never in a situation where I think shoving anyone out of the way let alone a mother with a baby is justified. None of my friends and family would do it either. Shame you had this experience.

Twinkylightsg · 10/08/2025 11:41

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:05

Do you have kids? And if so, are you strong enough to hold them on a moving train for an hour? I would have stood if it was safe

Edited

I have for a 3h train ride which was packed and had to stand for 1h of it as baby was screaming head off when we sat down. He couldn't walk just yet just few steps. Heavy. Was around 14kg. My arm was numb by that point and swapped with DH but lil one only lasted 30min with him before wanting to come back to me.

I get your annoyance. I'd be annoyed too. But it does read as a bit entitled and snowflakey to me. I'd be annoyed and frustrated too but I'd get on with it. Who has time or energy to care about other people? There are twats everywhere. If we gave all of them energy we wouldn't have any of ourselves. Just get on with it. 🤷‍♀️ you got on the train, you got a seat, you got home. All is fine.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:41

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:37

I'm missing the part where you read that because you made it up.

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If you seriously don’t think pushing a woman and child out of the way is atrocious behaviour, I can’t help you I’m afraid.

Made it up? What a ridiculous, childish comment 🤣

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:40

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:36

Yep. Dog with a bone.

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Like you commenting on everything I write, without context?

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:39

purpleme12 · 10/08/2025 11:35

I think we all know what OP meant when she said it wasn't a working day

Getting a bit silly now

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Yes, we know she decided to dismiss all the people who work at weekends, people who make parts of her life possible. How dare these tired people not prioritise her needs.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:39

There was no quiet part of the platform lol

OP posts:
ParvuliThankYouDebbie · 10/08/2025 11:38

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:35

Yes but the t&cs says they cant guarantee and the ticket doesn’t come with a seat number

Yes you’re correct. There is no seat allocation on that line. I use it regularly. The previous poster linked to the Trainline where you can choose your seat ‘preference’ but it is meaningless because there are no allocated seats. It’s first come first served.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:38

Of course we do. OP told us in her first post that people “literally pushed us out of the way”.