Train etiquette

I've been travelling the train route through Folkestone Central to Stratford/London St Pancras for years and, to the best of my knowledge, OP is correct. You CANNOT book seats in these Southeastern trains.
And I agree with her- train etiquette is pretty poor these days. With a toddler in your arms, you would be entitled to a Priority Seat- usually 4 per carriage specifically for elderly/ disabled/ people carrying infants. But good luck in getting one of these- they seem to be fair game for anyone ( plus their bag which apparently needs a separate seat to itself, next to its owner).
And don't get me started on the irritating people who blithely listen to loud phones/tablets without headphones.

'Grim how much of a downer Brits have on children just being out in public.'

Nobody has said OPs child shouldn't be out in public.

Sorry - was intending to quote this.

I don't think OP was surprised by the busyness, but more people's reactions. I had to get a 6pm train on my day off with my toddler the other day and my experience was the same as the OP's - even though we were taking up the minimum amount of (standing) room and being quiet, we still had plenty of pass agg glaring, tutting etc. from commuters. I'm quite heavily pregnant and I think that plus toddler placed me firmly in the category of "silly mum out for a jolly" whatever our reason for being there 👍🏻

I wasn't surprised at it being busy, no (I commute the rest of the week) and we also didn't have any other choice but to the travel at that time. Rush "hour" round here lasts from around 4.30pm to 7.30pm.

Grim how much of a downer Brits have on children just being out in public.

Did you mean to write that you were faffing or that you weren't faffing?

It's shit that people were so pushy and rushing for seats, I have a toddler and been getting trains all over London and Scotland, and have found you have to really prep for getting on and off with least amount of time or you do either hold the crowd up or they surge over you! I always fold the buggy and hold the kid just before train is due and then can stride on with purpose when doors open. Saying that, the train journey you describe is a super busy one, people will have been out in sun all day, and behaviour can be less than kind! Bit like the Brighton to London at that time.

The priority seats at end of the carriage are for people with disabilities, pregnant women, old people and people with children in arms so someone there unless needing it themselves should have given it to you. I think you had bad luck with the bikes there, but also if this was South Eastern the vestibule are minute so space is crap, I used to get South West all the time when I lived in Surrey and they have so much more room for some reason.

you are a parent. Grow a thicker skin
I have never, as a girl, young woman or now, let people push me around.

Is there a reason you were holding the heavy kid and your husband wasn't?

Quite.

Right, I wouldn't put my own health at risk for anyone - sorry if that sounds harsh but needs must.
Also, it wasn't just a mother and baby - there was a father too, who could have gone in ahead and secured a seat for one adult and the child.

I used to travel to Bristol a lot from Plymouth and the trains were always crowded. Cross country knew this but did nothing. I mean, it's going from Plymouth to Scotland and there's 4 carriages

Yes you can change at Ashford for the slow services.

Please quote whoever you're replying to.

A thicker skin is not bad shout for public transport though OP. It saves a lot of agro. My three year old and I get trains gets there and everywhere and in fact his behaviour is better than a lot of adults. We got on a two hour train recently and the man opposite visibly rolled his eyes and huffed when we sat down. I ignored him and sat down anyway because we were as entitled to be there as much as anyone else. When we got off the train the man said how impressed he was that my little boy was so good, he’d chatted quite a bit but got on with some colouring too and then had twenty min on the IPad but used his headphones. So that showed him.

Unfortunately though there are a lot of unruly ones out there who haven’t been brought up with the same ideals of manners and etiquette so people are wary.

I had to stand on the train from Bath to Paddington via Reading. The train was already packed when it got to Bath, the pushing to get on was unreal. The man next to me was on crutches and no one got up for him. I stood next to the toilet until Reading and then found a place to sit on the floor. There was one train back to London every 90 minutes so I knew it would busy but the behaviour of some of the people was outrageous!

I complained to the train company as the train was shorter than advertised. The complaint was rejected! I was actually expecting a partial refund but nothing!

Pushing you out of the way is fucking rude and im amazed anyone genuinely thinks that's ok.

I agree there'll be people sitting who need the seats and we shouldn't judge them, but toddler is too small to stand and too heavy to carry easily. I have joint issues and can't stand on trains easily at all, but I'd go and sit on the floor if necessary if nobody else offered the seat. Shame about the pushing. Most people on my local line wouldn't rush ahead of a mother and baby - they'd be offering them the seat.

TBH, I think it sounds like the best outcome. You didn't board the train when there were seats available, but you were nevertheless given a seat with the baby and your DH stood holding the buggy.

That's fine, isn't it?

The rest of it about people being unimpressed with your baby babbling is irrelevant. Not everyone wants to engage with a baby. I would have probably smiled and said hi to your baby but would then want to read / daydream / sleep.

Blimey OP @EmJA85, you sound entitled and hard work. Your needs are no more important than other people’s needs 🤷‍♀️ You say I would like to stress the main issue wasn’t the seat - yet in your OP literally state ”people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat” And you say people weren’t working as it was a Saturday .. MANY people work on Saturday.
I suggest you stop being so entitled and try to live in the real world 🙄

A significant number don't.
There's also people like me, who don't think pushing is necessarily great, but also accept that it happens. We also pointed out that OP may actually have been a bit disorganised (was the buggy collapsed or not????).

No you’re not. Majority of posters agree with you.

I have travelled thousands of miles on UK trains every year since long before the privatisation of BR. Etiquette has worsened along with service quality (the stress of which exacerbates the former). This continues to deteriorate. Train Operating Companies (TOCs) vary. Southern is mediocre-to-worse, and won’t care. It makes sense for anyone to avoid rush hours if possible. However engineering works and low staffing can make weekends extremely busy. A weekday lunchtime London train from the north may have left Scotland in the rush hour so still be rammed. Reservation programmes not loaded, guards failing to announce ‘bags off seats’, apps giving conflicting information, ticket acceptance refused, classes declassified and stock shortages running shorter trains are among myriad snags, especially during disruptions. I am able bodied, and stand in front of pushers-in so people with kids etc can get on. I ask someone if a seat with a bag is free, but give it so someone else when they move it. I give up my reserved seat if I have one. Most people are thoughtful while a large minority are inconsiderate. Check if you are eligible for passenger assistance. You will have to nominate a specific train or turn up early. It can transform your experience when it works well. If ineligible, ask staff for help anyway if there are any nearby who aren’t dispatching or announcing.

British people are often criticised for queueing (Is that how you spell it? My phone is trying to take an e away!).
I think the pushing is perhaps quicker, or seen to be.

When your little one is walking, reins are very useful if you have to fold a buggy on a busy platform while travelling by yourself. It's difficult when they're still at the crawling stage because you can't really put them down on the dirty platform at all - you have to hold them.