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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:14

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:12

OP referred to him as 'a 12kg toddler'.

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I did , yes all factual thanks. He’s big, 92nd percentile and weighs 12kg. He is 14 months which in terms of the nhs makes him a toddler

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:14

TigerRag · 10/08/2025 14:46

Before buses had low floors there was a route I took and there was usually a lady with a pram folded up and her toddler. There was always someone willing to help her either take the toddler or pram

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I wasn't unwilling as such, just surprised she'd asked me tbh. I helped, even though it actually made it a lot more difficult for me.
I also wrote this reply in response to someone saying that nobody would randomly hand me a baby...✌️

TaborlinTheGreat · 10/08/2025 15:13

YANBU. What the hell is the matter with people?! Children are people too. People with children have a right to get on trains to wherever they like at whatever time of day they like. Nobody should be pushing in front of anyone. If they hadn't been pushing, the OP would have got the seat she needed.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:12

Goldbar · 10/08/2025 14:46

If your child can't walk yet, he's not a toddler.

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OP referred to him as 'a 12kg toddler'.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:12

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:10

He didn't need to - one of you hold him, one hold folded buggy.

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Exactly, the act of holding him lands me in the category of eligible for priority seating

OP posts:
Makingitupaswegoalong · 10/08/2025 15:11

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 10:45

It's public transport. What did you expect. Your child does not pay a fare and their buggy took up the space of about 2-3 adults standing

The adults with bikes had paid a fare but you objected to their bikes but you had a buggy.

You expected train etiquette to give way to you? Good luck.

Edited

This about sums up the British attitude to children.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 15:10

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:58

He can’t stand or walk. He’s 14months

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He didn't need to - one of you hold him, one hold folded buggy.

Livpool · 10/08/2025 15:08

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:02

One man had 2 bikes? (missing point entirely …..).

For those saying they’re irritated by families who travel during rush hours, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation to go to a seaside town on a Saturday and not be shoved out of the way by rude people.

Exactly! As a society, the UK is pretty shit for children and families. I don’t understand it

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:06

Pluvia · 10/08/2025 15:05

OP was saying she couldn't reserve a seat. I found her an option that allowed her to reserve a seat.

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Please send. Would be genuinely useful, not even joking.

regular travelers on this line have confirmed that seats aren’t assigned. Trainline makes it look like they are but they’re not

OP posts:
Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 15:05

Goldbar · 10/08/2025 14:46

If your child can't walk yet, he's not a toddler.

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They become a toddler at 1 regardless of wether they can walk or not , makes no sense, I know

OP posts:
Pluvia · 10/08/2025 15:05

TigerRag · 10/08/2025 14:14

Why are you booking with Trainline? They charge booking fees. Train operating companies (TOCs) don't

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OP was saying she couldn't reserve a seat. I found her an option that allowed her to reserve a seat.

DamsonGoldfinch · 10/08/2025 15:03

Fast trains run from Margate, Ramsgate and Folkestone. The ones from Margate and Folkestone go via Ashford where HS1 starts. The ones from Ramsgate travel along the coast and don’t pick up the HS1 line until Ebbsfleet. All of them go into St Pancras. You can also get non high speed/fast trains into Victoria.

You cannot reserve seats on any of the trains.

Source: a local 😉

Fenellasbum · 10/08/2025 15:02

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:09

I would like to stress the main issue wasn’t the seat and I actually always give up seats to older people , pregnant people , people with crutches etc . The issue wasn’t the overall experience, the combination of rudeness and lack of empathy from others

The reason people don’t have empathy is that they have paid for an overpriced ticket on a shit train that doesn’t go often enough and doesn’t have enough seats. And they don’t want to hear a toddler chirping during this already shit journey.

Grammarnut · 10/08/2025 14:59

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:42

This is a continuous problem. I feel bad seeing this happen. Since having the buggy , my eyes have been opened to how bad accessibility is for those in wheelchairs and I do speak up on this also

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Wheelchair provision is poor. The dilemma you had, as has been said, was caused by organisation. Fold the buggy beforehand. One of you get on first (with buggy) and secure a seat, the other bring the child. Not pleasant and a hassle. You might like to attempt changing trains at Birmingham with DH (now late) who cannot carry anything heavy due to groin pain caused by attack by a cow, two suitcases and a cat box. DH could pull one of the cases if we were careful. Delightful, I assure you! Not a soul helped, but then I expected that, it's bloody Birmingham.
NB If anyone wants to know why 2 suitcases, it was because I could not handle one large suitcase and a catbox (with cat).

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:58

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 14:10

A toddler isn't 'a babe in arms'. 🫣

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He can’t stand or walk. He’s 14months

OP posts:
Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:56

AlpacaMittens · 10/08/2025 14:46

People work on Saturdays, evidenced amongst other things by the fact that someone was driving the train you were on

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Obviously people were working 🤣 I was replying to a response that implied I was traveling on weekday office worker times

OP posts:
Mayanatalia · 10/08/2025 14:55

You’re not being unreasonable, so many people just simply lack empathy. I certainly wouldn’t dish out a dirty look to someone in your position

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:53

ilovesooty · 10/08/2025 11:11

You can't assume that because some people are challenging you

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It wasn’t because people were challenging me at all. I believe some of the challengers to be legit posters

OP posts:
Thecatandme · 10/08/2025 14:53

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:47

I got on at Folkestone and got off at Stratford International.

the train began its journey in ramsgate, travelled via Margate and ended in King’s Cross

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Margate is before Ramsgate

That train starts at Ramsgate as you say but doesn't pass through Margate

There is an HS1 which starts at Margate - then goes via Ramsgate, Canterbury West and Ashford International to St Pancras

If you are starting at Ramsgate that's quite a bit quicker as the Dover, Folkestone loop is a bit of a drag.

sleeppleasesoon · 10/08/2025 14:51

I feel for you OP.

The situation you describe sounds frustrating and upsetting.

I think because overcrowded trains have become the norm, peoples rude behaviour has become the norm too.

Train travel is exorbitant so maybe people feel entitled to ‘a place’, hence the rudeness in pushing you out the way.

A mother with a young child would take priority in my eyes.

Hope you’re okay.

Imisscoffee2021 · 10/08/2025 14:47

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 14:35

Oh the irony. You are attempting to educate others now? Really?
Did you locate the carriage with the priority seating then?

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Priority seating is at the end of the rows in all carriages, near the door as standard on these trains.

RosesAndHellebores · 10/08/2025 14:47

Can't believe this has gone on for 17 pages.

Hope @EmJA85 you are having a lovely day in Stratford.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 14:47

ParvuliThankYouDebbie · 10/08/2025 14:40

Well, I'm also confused. It started out as Folkestone to London.
Then it was Margate to King's Cross (they go to St. Pancras) and now it's back to Folkestone Central.
So who knows?

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I got on at Folkestone and got off at Stratford International.

the train began its journey in ramsgate, travelled via Margate and ended in King’s Cross

OP posts:
TigerRag · 10/08/2025 14:46

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 14:43

Someone actually did just randomly say 'can you hold my baby' to me once, so she could carry her shopping on to a bus. She seemed to not notice that I was also carrying shopping/rucksack. I felt I had to say yes, however it actually made it harder for me as I then had to put my stuff down. Why she chose a young (at the time) person wearing headphones I dont know. Bus driver was patient though.

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Before buses had low floors there was a route I took and there was usually a lady with a pram folded up and her toddler. There was always someone willing to help her either take the toddler or pram

TigerRag · 10/08/2025 14:46

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 14:43

Someone actually did just randomly say 'can you hold my baby' to me once, so she could carry her shopping on to a bus. She seemed to not notice that I was also carrying shopping/rucksack. I felt I had to say yes, however it actually made it harder for me as I then had to put my stuff down. Why she chose a young (at the time) person wearing headphones I dont know. Bus driver was patient though.

Show quote history

Before buses had low floors there was a route I took and there was usually a lady with a pram folded up and her toddler. There was always someone willing to help her either take the toddler or pram