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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

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TigerRag · 13/08/2025 15:07

Jan24680 · 13/08/2025 11:29

I was catching a train once and was standing next to a wheelchair user. When the train arrived everyone started shoving past them. The staff managed to get the ramp down only for the shoving to continue. The train was not that busy. They are just rude.

I book assistance. I've lost count of the amount of times staff have had to tell people to wait to get on

FanofLeaves · 13/08/2025 12:38

BlondeAussie · 13/08/2025 12:28

"Not always safer to fold and hold either. You have to weigh it up for each situation. When a baby is small and not standing, you can’t do both unless a random person holds them or you lay them on the floor"...

Yes, if you are on your own.

But in this case, husband was present to either hold the child or fold the buggy.

Problem seemed to be that they decided to fold the buggy at the last moment as the train arrived.

Show quote history

Yes, true. I’m so used to travelling on my own with a small baby/child that I forget that in this instance there was another (although apparently not very useful) adult.

BlondeAussie · 13/08/2025 12:28

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 14:59

But just saying ‘it’s public transport’ is silly. If it was purely a level playing field just because it’s simply public transport then why bother to have ramps, priority seating, luggage racks, designated areas for bikes/prams/wheelchairs/disabled toilets/seats with more legroom at all? Of course some people should have more priority than others. that’s life in a civilised society.

Not always safer to fold and hold either. You have to weigh it up for each situation. When a baby is small and not standing, you can’t do both unless a random person holds them or you lay them on the floor, which is obviously not safe to do. Especially when the bus/train/tram has already started moving- they don’t wait.

Edited
Show quote history

"Not always safer to fold and hold either. You have to weigh it up for each situation. When a baby is small and not standing, you can’t do both unless a random person holds them or you lay them on the floor"...

Yes, if you are on your own.

But in this case, husband was present to either hold the child or fold the buggy.

Problem seemed to be that they decided to fold the buggy at the last moment as the train arrived.

Jan24680 · 13/08/2025 11:29

I was catching a train once and was standing next to a wheelchair user. When the train arrived everyone started shoving past them. The staff managed to get the ramp down only for the shoving to continue. The train was not that busy. They are just rude.

PinkArt · 12/08/2025 19:31

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:45

Again, it’s really bad form to keep hammering a point like a dog with a bone when it’s completely irrelevant to the OP.

It
wasn’t
rush
hour

Or London.

Edited
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It wasn't a Monday to Friday 9-5 rush hour train, but comparable in that it was full beyond capacity. A weekend train between London and the coast on a sunny August Saturday - it was clearly always going to be rammed.
Pushing isn't ok but people don't behave well when they're stressed. Knowing that if they couldn't squeeze onto this one that the next is an hour later, plus two people are blocking the doorway fannying around with a buggy, then people will be stressed and in every person for themselves mode.

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 19:30

Petitchat · 12/08/2025 18:37

Lovely.......
Were you one of the passengers, by any chance?

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lol no, and I’ve stuck up for the OP throughout.

I was commenting that that particular poster kept inaccurately saying it was down to the fact OP had chosen to travel at rush hour, so being pushed and shoved was to be expected.

But well done for getting the wrong end of that particular stick 🤦🏻‍♀️

Petitchat · 12/08/2025 18:37

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:38

Have you read it because it has fuck all to do with rush hour travel.

Show quote history

Lovely.......
Were you one of the passengers, by any chance?

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:52

Okay I give up! OP had trouble getting on the train- ended up with a seat for her, child and partner. I hope they were happy

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:49

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:48

To be fair it was a London commute.

No it wasn’t. It was the tourist/day tripper train on a weekend.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:48

To be fair it was a London commute.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:47

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:45

Again, it’s really bad form to keep hammering a point like a dog with a bone when it’s completely irrelevant to the OP.

It
wasn’t
rush
hour

Or London.

Edited
Show quote history

Okay point accepted.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:46

Laserwho · 12/08/2025 17:44

So people can work on a train and speak loudly into a phone but a baby carnt tap on a table because that's annoying? Have a word with yourself. It's public transport, if you find a baby annoying maybe don't work on a train , it's not an office.

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Agree it us equally annoying!

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:45

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:43

Advice to OP just don't travel London rush hour on the train....but yiu said you are a frequent traveller so I guess you knew this. Most people are accommodating as has been said. If not, try to understand their needs

Again, it’s really bad form to keep hammering a point like a dog with a bone when it’s completely irrelevant to the OP.

It
wasn’t
rush
hour

Or London.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:45

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:38

Have you read it because it has fuck all to do with rush hour travel.

Show quote history

Well the OP said it was a rush to get on the train. That she knows London travel peaks.

Laserwho · 12/08/2025 17:44

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:36

I am sorry but a baby drumming on a table IS annoying- in rush hour many adults have to work on the train etc.

So people can work on a train and speak loudly into a phone but a baby carnt tap on a table because that's annoying? Have a word with yourself. It's public transport, if you find a baby annoying maybe don't work on a train , it's not an office.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:43

Advice to OP just don't travel London rush hour on the train....but yiu said you are a frequent traveller so I guess you knew this. Most people are accommodating as has been said. If not, try to understand their needs

FanofLeaves · 12/08/2025 17:38

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:35

I am not saying it's okay to push a baby out of the way. I say this as someone who has travelled frequently with a baby and toddler on public transport

I just don't see the drama here- OP and DH got a seat. Yes rush hour is busy. People might be rushing for their own reasons- adults with special needs etc.

Where is the drama here? OP got on with a seat for her and partner

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Have you read it because it has fuck all to do with rush hour travel.

HerecomesMargo · 12/08/2025 17:37

I also am in London and I have to say people have always been so accommodating to me. I have 2 kids, one is a toddler and even when I was pregnant people have always been so helpful.
I think it was just a busy day, hot and people were just wanting to get going. Sorry you had a bad experience.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:36

I am sorry but a baby drumming on a table IS annoying- in rush hour many adults have to work on the train etc.

Chompingatthebeat · 12/08/2025 17:36

Potatosaladsalsa · 12/08/2025 15:58

I’ll hold my child like I said. Or help them stand. My financial issues and reliance on public transport are my own damn fault

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Many choose public transport over cars

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:35

Laserwho · 12/08/2025 17:30

Yes they do, I frequently get trains alone. I would never push a parent holding a baby and if you think that's ok then I worry about you. A baby drumming on a table, how hard and annoying could that actually be when there's grown ups shouting into phones? It's a baby, it's the adults who should know better.

Show quote history

I am not saying it's okay to push a baby out of the way. I say this as someone who has travelled frequently with a baby and toddler on public transport

I just don't see the drama here- OP and DH got a seat. Yes rush hour is busy. People might be rushing for their own reasons- adults with special needs etc.

Where is the drama here? OP got on with a seat for her and partner

Laserwho · 12/08/2025 17:30

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 16:59

Because people without children also have things to do. She got a seat. There were 2 adults one child. OP said they travel frequently in London, so must be used to things.

A toddler banging on a table IS annoying. Yes so are teenagers with music but doesn't mean it's all okay

Show quote history

Yes they do, I frequently get trains alone. I would never push a parent holding a baby and if you think that's ok then I worry about you. A baby drumming on a table, how hard and annoying could that actually be when there's grown ups shouting into phones? It's a baby, it's the adults who should know better.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 17:24

Petitchat · 12/08/2025 16:59

OP

The result of the poll:

YANBU Flowers

Hopefully the close vote as now speaks to you OP

Petitchat · 12/08/2025 16:59

OP

The result of the poll:

YANBU Flowers

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 16:59

Laserwho · 12/08/2025 16:39

I got to page 7 and had read enough. Why do people think it's acceptable for people to push past someone holding a baby? Of course the op will need a seat most people I know would gladly offer a seat . Plus a baby drumming isn't so bad, it's not like it's a teenager with a full on. drum kit . How did people get so intolerant? OP Im sorry this happened to you.

Because people without children also have things to do. She got a seat. There were 2 adults one child. OP said they travel frequently in London, so must be used to things.

A toddler banging on a table IS annoying. Yes so are teenagers with music but doesn't mean it's all okay