Need to plan at to give at least £100k per child to set them up in early adulthood

Bonkers. Unachievable for most parents. Kids have to learn to stand on their own feet..

Haha just the other day we had the poster who thinks a salary of 50k is just a hobby job 🤣

Sorry - quoted the wrong post there. Meant to quote the one saying ‘it’s not even a house deposit’

I think trying to achieve a set sum (particularly a very high one) is just going to set you up to be stressed if you don't achieve it, or potentially miss opportunities for development and fun if you focus too much on a specific amount - e.g. if we don't go on holiday that's an extra £500 I can save for them, I'll say no to piano lessons and save the money instead, etc.

Not saying it's not good to save at all, but I think that saving for your own retirement as you've said is the best plan and then if you're comfortable can help them as and when they might need it. They might win the lottery or get very well paying careers and might not want your money. Or you could save thousands for uni and then they decide they don't want to go, or get a full scholarship or something.

Similarly if you have a health scare or develop additional needs or whatever when you're older, I'm sure they'd probably prefer you to use money yourself to pay for private treatment or get your house fitted appropriately, than lose their mother early but be a few grand better off.

as a pp said, inflation will affect any savings. best to pay off your own mortgage etc first.

Outside of London it’s a massive amount. Even in London in zones 3+ it’s the difference between ever buying and not ever buying.

Double post!

To me, this seems like an incredibly high-risk approach. But maybe you are more sensible than I was at 18, and hopefully your children will take after you!

Having a saving pot from childhood and teaching them how to manage money / work ethic etc are all things responsible parents should be doing. But your reasons for doing it, (AI) are a little weird, but hey, the end goal is the same.

I wouldn't live so frugally and deny myself though. Find a balance. Life is for living.

I don’t think £100k is going to go very far. It’s not even a house deposit in London. Save up for uni and studies so they aren’t burdened by the loans. Then it’s up to them.
both dh and are veryhigh earners (im a sahm now) but we didn’t have any financial help from parents.Education was the top priority in our homes. It came before everything and had paid off. Invest in that rather.

@Winter2020 if they are the dcs names once they turn 18 they don't have to pay tax on any interest etc. Also inheritance tax considerations

my DH passed away suddenly and each of my step kids (19 and 21 at the time) got £80k. I have no idea how they spent it - I’m sure their mother stopped any financial contribution to the university aged child for sure. I think it may have given them a cushion for a few years but neither were in the position to buy property (they lived in London) as one at uni the other on a minimum wage job.
I do think it’s sensible to save something - on higher education board there’s many posts about how to help contribute to university aged kids as the loans don’t always cover accommodation costs or living expenses (which seems to come as a surprise to far too many parents).
So I’d certainly save something if you can, but not at the expense of enjoying things today and not going on holidays and constantly scrimping. And of course do not neglect your own pension.
I wouldn’t worry about a definite figure. As you say you have no idea of costs in the future, or your ability to save - there may be done years when due to whatever circumstances it’s just not possible. Also one might go to uni one might not etc. £100k today is not going to be worth the same in X years.

@Bambamhoohoo I agree with you. Obviously myself & DH had a lot of privilege for the help we had but for a small part of society (come across them through dc & work) the help is on a whole other level eg we sold out flat to someone buying it for their dc, I know people who have got 500k to move up the ladder, get the school fees paid etc. Unless your salary is incredibly high it just doesn't have the same impact.

We will have £100k saved for DC in an ISA by the time they are 18. It is a terrifying amount to hand over the minute they reach that age because they could blow through it.

I don't worry about this, for one inflation will erode a lot of it.

The only thing I’d caution against with this attitude (I am your son) is that it’s exhausting. People like me and your son arrive in middle age mentally and physically exhausted, competing against the fresh Henry’s who are now settled in million pound houses thanks to the deposit they were given at 21 and the knowledge that they could turn their attention to something other than survival.

of course, if you can’t do it you can’t do it, but let’s not glamourise not helping our kids to toughen them up.

What tax do you think someone would have to pay if they gave their child 100k? Or are you worried about if you had died (inheritance tax) or a new tax that could be introduced?

It's a nice thing to do but I wouldn't do it at the expense of enjoying life now. If you can do both then great. If not, they will find their own way. I know a couple of people whose parents saved that amount for them and it was indeed a great help when it came to buying a house. But I couldn't afford to give my child anything and this gave him more of a drive to do well and choose his degree based on future prospects. Now he has a high paying job and doesn't need any support. He didn't move back home after uni either.

We will have £100k saved for DC in an ISA by the time they are 18. It is a terrifying amount to hand over the minute they reach that age because they could blow through it. But it ensures that it will be tax-free.

I think the way you are sometimes. It’s anxiety, trying to control the uncontrollable. It does children no good to have anxious, hyper stimulated worriers as parents. Deal with this first.

ill clarify before anyone says- setting savings up for your children isn’t anxiety in itself, the prose from the OP about AI and worry about employment does indicate anxiety.

It's quite hard to save for your retirement, the dc etc unless you are a high earner/have family help.

I save for their uni costs because as pp said loans are based off parental income so they will get a reduced amount. They can take out a loan but I will help with rent. Will help with house deposit too.

I worked from age 14 & throughout uni etc. I had help with uni rent, had a 6 fig gift for deposit as did DH & we had about 25k towards our wedding.

It is possible to save £100 per month for each child in a S&S ISA, get them through uni without massive debt, give them a 10% deposit in their first house, AND ALSO teach them the benefit of hard work and resilience. Those gifts aren’t going to turn them into Paris Hilton!

my parents did exactly what I just listed for me and I work incredibly hard in a job I love. It’s just been easier for me, as I own a house near work and good schools. I still had a job from age 15 and worked all university holidays. I’m doing the same for my DC.

I'm putting my own life jacket on first. Early 40s, hoping to pay mortgage off by mid 50s. Will rebuild savings once the nursery years are over. House is big enough that me and DH will downsize eventually, hopefully enough equity in that to help the children with deposits etc. The best life experience I had was the (horrible) year I spent when I quit uni, in a dead end job, in an awful houseshare with a hideous landlord and no money. I went back to uni with a renewed drive to never have to live like that again. It's also given me a belief that children need to learn graft and resilience, so mine will struggle initially, before the find out we will help them out.

I think it's far more important to teach them a good work ethic, how to save and to spend wisely.
It's no coincidence ours have house-sized deposits saved by mid 20s, all their own work not ours or inherited. Admittedly only one went to Uni, and that was local so could carry on working part time alongside.