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AIBU?

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To have cried when my husband shaved his beard? (Semi-lighthearted)

41 replies

NameChangeNamaste · 10/08/2025 07:49

TL:DR - My husband has had a beard as long as I’ve known him. He knows I prefer it and when he messed up trimming, decided to shave it all off. He was mad/hurt that I cried over this.
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A couple of days ago, my husband was trimming his beard and apparently took a little chunk out. He cut it down and jokingly left a goatee to show me before saying he’d “fix it.”

About 20 minutes later, I’m in the kitchen cooking/distracted when he comes in announcing “I think I’ve made a mistake!”- to my horror he’s shaved his whole beard off and left a mustache. I was taken aback, couldn’t quite look at him and was trapped at the stove whilst he repeatedly asked what I thought. This resulted in me shutting down and crying:/

He walked away, came back and though I had calmed down he was clearly in a mood. Then he proceeded to have a real go at me about crying and how he was mad a me for my reaction and very hurt (I think this is the important bit). Said it’s his face, he can do what he likes and he’d never tell me what to do or react so badly. I tried to explain it was mostly due to shock (and I loved that beard!!) but that was me trying to justify and not just apologize. Our 6 month old was also not impressed lol

We left it for a bit, he then hugged me and apologized, I apologized again unreservedly and all fine now. Think he’s feeling a bit sheepish for letting the intrusive thoughts win and isn’t a big fan of seeing his chin after 15 years hah. Cue jokes at brunch the next day about casting him in Super Troopers.

Was I a heartless harpy? Or is my STRONG preference for his facial hair and the shock a valid reason for crying??

OP posts:
AnchorWHAT · 10/08/2025 09:04

Mine shaved his admittedly non bushy beard off and looked really weird. Funnily though i didn't really notice until he said does anything look different 😃
even funnier he went to work and no one said anything until someone said, you look a bit pale are you ok, someone else twigged and said ah hes shaved his beard off ! And the admin worker said, did he have a beard?

Lurkingandlearning · 10/08/2025 08:40

I might cry because of the shock and him looking really, really different. My partner would definitely think I was crying because I had to look at more of his face 😆

yallahbye · 10/08/2025 08:31

to my horror
😆😆

mondaytosunday · 10/08/2025 08:26

I would have cried tears of joy as I hate beards! But if it was reversed, if my DH suddenly grew a beard (even though he knows I don’t like them) I would be upset, while acknowledging that he has the right to do whatever he wants with his face.

Bikergran · 10/08/2025 08:20

Well, I have to say YABU as it is HIS face, after all. However, I do sympathise as I knew someone who was a good-looking chap with a full beard, but when he shaved it off, had a weird shaped lumpy-looking face - he looked terrible and if I'd been his partner I'd have been heartbroken.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 10/08/2025 08:13

I last shaved my beard (and moustache) off about 25 years ago. Met up with DW in a restaurant that evening with friends. She walked in, took one look at me and said
'Oh my God. You're not the man I married. Grow it back immediately.'
I did - never been beardless since. 🤣

Indianajet · 10/08/2025 08:08

I sympathise - my late husband always had a moustache, and I loved it - if he had shaved it off I would have been upset - nothing to do with not liking his face, I just loved the way he looked with it.

Mumnewname · 10/08/2025 08:08

Op isn't a toddler though haha

Confusedmermaid1 · 10/08/2025 08:07

My DH has a beard which I love so I can sympathise that it’s a shock to see it gone (luckily only one ‘Movember’ in the decade we’ve been together). Crying was probably a tad dramatic but I’m pretty sure I’d want to cry if DH turned up with a moustache, they turn me sick 😂

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 10/08/2025 08:06

When I was a toddler I had a childminder whose husband had a beard and moustache. One day he answered the door fully shaved and I bawled my eyes out and refused to go to him as I thought he was a total stranger 🤣

Mumnewname · 10/08/2025 08:04

You were really rude imo - effectively you were saying "I don't like seeing your naked face". Can't you see why he was offended?

Belladog1 · 10/08/2025 08:00

My ex husband had always had a beard and moustache. One day he took the beard off and I'd never realised what a weak chin he had. It really didn't suit him.

Then another time he slipped with the shaving and the moustache went. Oh my, his top lip was nowhere to be seen. The tash WAS his top lip. He looked comical 😆

I couldn't wait for it to grow back

toiletpiper · 10/08/2025 07:59

When I was a dc & my dad shaved off his moustache (in the 80s) I cried and avoided him for days.

Eenameenadeeka · 10/08/2025 07:59

Yeah I think you were unreasonable. If he said he thinks he's made a mistake and then was asking you what you thought, sounds like he was seeking reassurance? if I'd got a haircut I was worried about, I'd want my husband to say it's fine, not cry over it. I love my husbands beard too, but I love him and I wouldn't be upset over it if he shaved.

Whichone2024 · 10/08/2025 07:57

Oh and yes we all cried. But we’re crying and laughing at the same time lol.

Whichone2024 · 10/08/2025 07:56

This was me and the girls once 😂
we were all shocked and were like ‘how dare you without our permission’ 😂
it was all fine of course but he always puts it to a family vote now lol
I do understand the shock lol

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