Partner’s best friend & constant passive aggressive remarks

Insecure people tend to put others down as they then feel better about themselves. He thinks that you're better than him, is maybe jealous that his friend (your partner) has a great relationship with you (where he's failed numerous times amd has children with women he never sees) and wants to drive a wedge between you. He may like being the one that knows stuff about babies and is enjoying the attention. Whatever his reasoning it's not about you, he just wants his friend to himself and is jealous his friend has a great little family life.
I'm not sure what I'd do next. It's hard to know how your partner will see this. I suggest you try and educate your partner about weaning, and read up on nursery etc together so that he sees the problems with his friend himself. Also just repeat, you need to stop saying that I do not neglect my child, we're following what the Dr has told us about the ears. Then look at your partner and say that's right isn't it.
My take on nursery is that socialising is important for children, so lots of playdates and trips to playgroups or similar. Nursery can help socialise but it's also a low adult to child ratio but they are getting some education. However good quality one to one attention from parents is the best option. Take your little one to a library, get involved with activities there, borrow and read books together. Take your child to playgroups. Point out things when you're out and about, look that's a duck, can you see the letter A, what colour is that? etc, do some counting, learn the alphabet. They won't miss out if you give them opportunities.
It sounds like you're an excellent mum and this insecure man knows it and is threatened. Also you have a dear partner problem if this continues.

Agree with this. It's your partner trying to add weight to his own Royal Shittiness. Otherwise he'd shut him down not repeat it.

I'd question whether your BF likes you! Why is he repeating the nasty comments? I'd be questioning my relationship before I would even bother giving the friend a second thought. The friend is a moron, the actual issue is with your partner.

Your OH doesn't want to cause tension? He's causing tension with you!

I'd be asking him very seriously why he feels comfortable letting his friend repeatedly disrespect his partner and the mother of his child in his presence without so much as setting him straight, let alone kicking him to the curb. I'd want to know why he would even tolerate the presence of such a person as a one off, let alone a long term friendship.

Your OH sounds like a wet lettuce who needs to grow up and make a decision about where his loyalties lie.

I've come across people like this 'friend' before. Absolute losers, often can't maintain a decent relationship of their own so they latch on to someone with no backbone and do everything they can to cause friction between them and their partner. They're jealous and lonely, and hate the fact that your OH is more focused on you than them, so they do everything they can to cause tension and stir the pot.

My OH would react extremely badly to someone disrespecting me in the way you describe - and vice versa - let alone maintain a friendship with them. And if he did, I'd show him the door for respecting me as little as his friend does.

He can’t believe this…he can’t believe that…he can’t believe the other.
Who is he? Victor Meldrew?
And all his “knowledge” about medical matters, maternity, bring up children?
Is he a HCP/MW?
Or is he just a slimy bastard who impregnates women, pisses off, and from his limited experience spouts shit?
More fool your OH listening to him, for being influenced and encouraged by him to disrespect you.

Empty vessels make the most noise.

When hospitalised for a womb infection he told OH I was “over reacting” and it’s “normal”.
Even my OH thought I was making it up after listening to him.

what the fuck.

Your oh needs to grow a pair

Read OH the riot act. He needs to bloody well stand up for you, and you for yourself too! Stop tolerating this twit.

Hard agree. That's atrocious behaviour.

This all the way.

And ignore advice to throw grenade into relationship. This is only a last resort and not because your OH has an unpleasant and ignorant friend who they do not have the chutzpah to stand up to.

Sounds like a toxic friend for your partner. No win situation for you. As Churchill says a fanatic is someone who can’t change their mind and won’t change the subject. So best to avoid his company for you. But be the bigger person and while avoiding his unpleasant company don’t complain about him too much. Only then will your OH begin to realise he is toxic. And you are his OH.

I'd dump your OH for being ok to sit and listen to his best friend criticize you and put you down!

My DH’s best friend since childhood made a very disrespectful comment about me once, it was nasty but I wasn’t mortified or anything, just thought it was odd.

My DH was horrified, cut him off immediately and hasn’t been in his life since. I didn’t have to ask, he just couldn’t be around someone that spoke about me like that. You need a new partner, everyone deserves better than that.

This! What the hell is your partner playing at? Why is he still friends with this guy?

Tell the friend to fuck off.
Tell your DH you're not interested in anything his prick of a friend has to say and that if he was any sort of a partner he'd be telling him to STFU about you.

@crazeepops When hospitalised for a womb infection he told OH I was “over reacting” and it’s “normal”.
Even my OH thought I was making it up after listening to him.

Seriously? You're in hospital and your OH nods along with his friend saying it's normal and you're overreacting? The problem is not just the friend.

Because he is OH’s best friend, OH dosent want to cause tension.

This means he'd rather upset you than upset his mate. Doesn't mind causing tension with you, does he? Or he wouldn't pass any of this on.

I'd be saying sarcastically 'oh yes, of course Father of the Year knows exactly how I should be doing everything' and when asked any more I would say 'won't be taking parenting tips from someone who doesn't even see his kids, thanks'. Bite back.

You could continue to put up with this situation..
Or..
You could tell your OH you don't want this "Friend" anywhere near you. And you don't want to hear any more of his stupid comments.

and mean it.
You could, for example, Tell your OH that when this friend is making derogatory comments about you, OH's choice of partner, he is actually insulting OH.. and laughing at both of you.
You could say The friend is interfering in your relationship. and showing off that he can manipulate your OH.
You could Say that he thinks your OH is really dim not to realise this and that the Friend thinks he's really clever to keep getting away with it and just wants to see how much upset he can cause between you and that it seems to be really working.

Ask OH why he is putting up with this crap. Why he thinks its OK for you to be treated in this way. Why is he so passive when the friend behaves like this. Does he think the Friend wants to show that he is smarter and funnier than OH is?

Easier said than done I know.
You may find saying all that would be a bit much in real life but I think you need to say something.

I'd be telling your OH I want him to stop being friends with this scumbag and he needs to choose his family or scumbag. If it were me OH wouldn't be friends with him anymore, you're too weak.

Why is he repeating his friends moronic chat?! No one cares what he thinks

I love that you have a mutual fiend.

but he sounds fucking insufferable and no, you don’t have to pretend to like him or invite him over. Be busy if he is there at your Hs invite, sit away from him at the table, avoid and grey rock at absolute minimum. I currently have cancer and the thing I really regret is spending time with cunts when I didn’t have to. Freedom is yours! Just go upstairs and watch a show or something on your phone.

If anyone referred to me as ‘your missus’ in my presence, he’d be a very sorry individual shortly afterwards.

Your boyfriend sounds like an utter dick.

If he stuck up for you and told his mate to belt up, he wouldn't be able to say these things to him, would he?

The fact he feels he can, points towards your bloke being accepting of him slagging you off.

And as for tittle tattling to you about it after he's allowed his mate to rinse you, honestly there are no words.