Page 3 | Would you believe this? Husband and hotel

Weepixie · 12/08/2025 18:05

@atatotallosss I just want to acknowledge your latest posts and say that I’m very sorry you’re going through this. 💐

Original poster

atatotallosss · 12/08/2025 18:02

AnotherGreyMorning · 10/08/2025 13:17

It’s weird, isn’t it?

the focus on how the op found evidence of her h about to run out on her and the dcss. Weird priorities.

clearly the op’s instincts are strong and accurate.

I had a horrible feeling for the past few weeks, and actually asked him a week after the booking was made if he had plans to leave as I felt a shift from him. I was feeling really down and emotional this day and just felt really off about everything. He said of course he wasn't and that he loved me and what we had.

I was using his computer to find an email in my account, and felt the urge to see if I could see anything. I would like to point out that I've never snooped before, but had a strong feeling something was up on his side.

OP posts:

Original poster

atatotallosss · 12/08/2025 17:41

Apologies for the lack of responses, and thank you to the posters who have taken the time to comment.

Since then, he has been sleeping in the spare room and has taken on a lot of the heavy lifting, so to speak, with DD. He’s persisting that we speak to a counsellor to try and save our marriage, and if I still want to separate, he is keen to continue going for mediation. He has also said he will look for a rental if I insist but he wants to stay in the house to support me however I need it, even if we aren’t together.

I am switching between believing it was a crisis point for him, back to it's something more sinister going on, sadness and anger and not sure what I want to do. It feels like a dream to be honest.

He’s been open and said he feels like he’s been struggling since the breakdown of the last business, coupled with our issues, and the pressures of the new business have been really hard on him. He did admit that he got to a point with me that he lost empathy for what I’m going through, and said he is disgusted that he felt that way. I did notice a major shift in him from the start of the pregnancy, but put it down to him being busier/stressed with work etc.

I feel so conflicted between just wanting to rip the plaster off and deal with it now, or trying to move forward but scared the worry and doubt will eat away at me.

He has also said that if we split he would work things in a way that he would want for me and the children to stay in the home for as long as possible, I understand what he says now and what can happen if things turn nasty can be two different scenarios.

I rechecked the booking he made on his email and the confirmation appeared at 22.56, when I made a dummy booking it appeared straight away in my email so not sure if he’s done this whilst in bed beside me or if the email has taken a few hours to come through. Also to add, my booking for the Premier Inn said 1 guest but his said 2- he’s adamant there’s no one else, he wasn’t meeting anyone and doesn’t know why his booking reverted to two.

OP posts:

Sillyauldthing · 10/08/2025 22:36

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Tofudinosaur · 10/08/2025 15:12

100% I book a lot of hotels. The default on most sites is 2 people unless you bother to adjust to 1. Often rate is the same. They only take lead person booking. Lots and lots of sites are the same.
If I book for myself I often leave as 2 as really it doesn’t matter unless b&b.
I am female and I once wanted to run away to a hotel too. It’s possible he just wanted a break. I often go for drives when I am stressed.
Stressful job and family. I can talk to my DP though about this part of my run away syndrome personality. He has it too. It’s actually quite common. Just talk to him op.
I do hope he wasn’t contemplating suicide. That is possibility given situation.
2 under 3 is lot plus a business!

Weepixie · 10/08/2025 14:55

thisistoofunny · 10/08/2025 13:43

Yes, it is simply true.

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No. It’s not true. I booked a hotel for myself and my daughter last weekend and only my name went on the booking till we got to the hotel and they asked for her passport and ID. It was booked via an online booking system

NapoleonsToe · 10/08/2025 14:35

thisistoofunny · 10/08/2025 13:43

Yes, it is simply true.

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It isn't. I've just done a dummy booking with one of the biggest hotel chains in the world. You don't have to input a second guest's name.

Pinkladyapplepie · 10/08/2025 13:56

My ex was having an affair through out my first pregnancy (planned) I had no inkling other than he was being even more of a twit than usual on reflection. I cam out of hospital at 12 noon he told me he was leaving at 1pm. Long story short he didn’t we had another child and he left at 12 math point of second child. Apart from having an amazing son I wish he had funked off at the start.
I think saying he was going to leave as his best story is funking ridiculous.IN my opinion men are lax
opinion men are lazy and don’t leave to be alone, perhaps he was leaving to be with someone and they had a change of heart?
Either way know you are stronger than you think, confide in someone who really cares for you and can support you,don’t be afraid t ask for help. Wishing you and your soon to be two children all the best moving forward.💕

Beachtastic · 10/08/2025 13:48

thisistoofunny · 10/08/2025 13:43

Yes, it is simply true.

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It probably depends on the booking site. I never do!

thisistoofunny · 10/08/2025 13:43

EyeLevelStick · 10/08/2025 07:29

you MUST enter the names of both people

This is simply not true.

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Yes, it is simply true.

FridayFeelingmidweek · 10/08/2025 13:42

Get to a relationship counsellor pronto. This will be the best way to move forward if you want to try to stay together. Sounds like classic man not dealing with bring an adult and having their life turned upside down by children.

If you ignore/brush under the carpet he will do something similar again.

Beachtastic · 10/08/2025 13:33

YourWildAmberSloth · 10/08/2025 13:28

Sorry OP, I misread that bit.

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I don't think you're the only one, judging from the vehemence of the replies! 😬

Lemonvalley · 10/08/2025 13:31

For those saying checking emails is a breach of trust, well I’m glad I checked my husband’s 18 years ago or I wouldn’t have discovered his girlfriend. Sometimes you have to listen to your gut for a reason.

MollyMollyMandy33 · 10/08/2025 13:29

cha04 · 09/08/2025 22:58

Of course he’s lying to you and you’re falling for he’s ridiculous excuses. It was booked for him and someone else! Women need to wake up and realise no man is going to stay loyal. Don’t do yourself an injustice by stating with him. Use and abuse like they do to us.

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What a silly, unhelpful and immature thing to write. The OP is clearly in a very difficult place with her husband. My heart goes out to her.
However, there are plenty of loyal, loving and faithful men. And also plenty of cheating and abusive women. Grow up,

LondonPapa · 10/08/2025 13:28

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:39

Will try to keep this short. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with a 20-month-old DD.

Today, I found an email in my husband's email account for a hotel room for two adults dated two weeks ago. Instantly, I felt sick, and I couldn’t hold it in to confront him. Initially, he said it was for a friend, then said he booked it as he had planned to leave me and changed his mind. He doesn't know why the room is listed for two adults and is clamining he just booked the room that showed available.

I have proof that the room was unused with a no-show charge on the invoice, but I honestly don’t know what to think or believe. He’s full of remorse, citing mental health and depression (new to me).

Things have been stressful with work (self-employed) and we have been going through a rocky patch for the past few months (arguments, me struggling in pregnancy and him saying he feels no love from me) however on the day he planned this, that morning I had woken up to blood on my underwear and had to call triage- he plans this?! He says it was a moment of madness and overwhelm, the day the booking was made for, we had zero arguments and it was a normal day except for him being more stressed than usual with work etc. And the scare with the baby. He came home from work and we had normal conversations etc.

He's not been out etc recently so if it was an affair it would have been at work, or online I’m assuming. He is self-employed so god knows what he’s been doing during the day.

He wants us to try and move past this, however, I don’t know if I’m just postponing the inevitable and he will leave one week postpartum etc.

All hotels I’ve booked have 2 persons as standard. Only in Denmark did it book for 1 but wasn’t an issue. I’d argue he did plan to leave you but changed his mind. It’s obviously heartbreaking but maybe you can work through it as it wasn’t an affair?

LondonPapa · 10/08/2025 13:28

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:39

Will try to keep this short. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with a 20-month-old DD.

Today, I found an email in my husband's email account for a hotel room for two adults dated two weeks ago. Instantly, I felt sick, and I couldn’t hold it in to confront him. Initially, he said it was for a friend, then said he booked it as he had planned to leave me and changed his mind. He doesn't know why the room is listed for two adults and is clamining he just booked the room that showed available.

I have proof that the room was unused with a no-show charge on the invoice, but I honestly don’t know what to think or believe. He’s full of remorse, citing mental health and depression (new to me).

Things have been stressful with work (self-employed) and we have been going through a rocky patch for the past few months (arguments, me struggling in pregnancy and him saying he feels no love from me) however on the day he planned this, that morning I had woken up to blood on my underwear and had to call triage- he plans this?! He says it was a moment of madness and overwhelm, the day the booking was made for, we had zero arguments and it was a normal day except for him being more stressed than usual with work etc. And the scare with the baby. He came home from work and we had normal conversations etc.

He's not been out etc recently so if it was an affair it would have been at work, or online I’m assuming. He is self-employed so god knows what he’s been doing during the day.

He wants us to try and move past this, however, I don’t know if I’m just postponing the inevitable and he will leave one week postpartum etc.

All hotels I’ve booked have 2 persons as standard. Only in Denmark did it book for 1 but wasn’t an issue. I’d argue he did plan to leave you but changed his mind. It’s obviously heartbreaking but maybe you can work through it as it wasn’t an affair?

YourWildAmberSloth · 10/08/2025 13:28

Beachtastic · 10/08/2025 10:46

He didn't say he didn't love OP. He has repeatedly assured her of his love. He said he felt no love from her.

Edited

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Sorry OP, I misread that bit.

usedtobeaylis · 10/08/2025 13:27

I think you were right in one of your initial posts that the genie is out the bottle and you would have a tough time trusting that he's not constantly thinking about leaving or waiting for a time to do it. Under those circumstances, you're quite right to take it into your own hands and make the decision for yourself.

There's nothing to say that you won't ultimately get through it in the future. For the moment, do what you need to be able to get through the rest of your pregnancy and the early days.

Lemonvalley · 10/08/2025 13:25

So sorry you’re dealing with this when you’re so close to giving birth.
Whatever the true facts are with his story, there’s a lot that is alarming.
Also, the fact he’s not feeling “loved “ by you when you are the one heavily pregnant and in need of support says he is not coping. Men can experience depression and adjustment disorders with new babies and to be blunt he’s also clearly a needy man child so you’ll have your work cut out with him even if he hasn’t had an affair. Can the two of you attend therapy?? Might be worth it to try and improve connection and communication before new baby is upon you. Good luck and I hope you have support of good friends and family ?

StopRainingNow · 10/08/2025 13:21

TrickorTreacle · 09/08/2025 22:45

I use hotels quite often (for work), and even as 1 guest, the room is always listed as for 2 people. I've never seen a single hotel room ever.

Obviously though, fingers crossed that he isn't cheating.

I use hotels for work a lot too and they always say 1 person, so this isn't necessarily correct.

AnotherGreyMorning · 10/08/2025 13:17

It’s weird, isn’t it?

the focus on how the op found evidence of her h about to run out on her and the dcss. Weird priorities.

clearly the op’s instincts are strong and accurate.

SirRaymondClench · 10/08/2025 13:11

Grampy60 · 10/08/2025 11:04

The thing that intrigues me is that you “found an email in your husband’s email account”.
I have never, ever, ever looked at my wife’s emails, text messages, call records etc. At all.
As happily married and “together” we might be, we are individuals as well. Trust is a big thing.

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Really? She's 35 weeks pregnant with a toddler and a flakey husband and you think THAT'S the important thing here?

DorothyStorm · 10/08/2025 13:03

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:57

The bookings were in his deleted folder, only two emails in there and both related to the hotel booking.

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I just checked my deleted folders to count how many i have in there. There are too many to count. He clearly regularly deletes trace if his emails.

usersame · 10/08/2025 13:00

I think, as others have said, you could try booking the hotel for yourself (probably there will be a free cancellation option), just to see what comes back.

You could also use his email to contact the hotel to request a statement of visits. May well come back with nothing. If there's any other similar hotels around, you could try the same with them?

One thing though - why were you going through his deleted emails? Sounds like there is suspicion there anyway?

Lostinbrum · 10/08/2025 12:59

Usually these sort of posts are pretty clear cut but I'm not sure about this one. I'd be leaning towards the fact that your husband is under a huge amount of stress and he's drowning. I've reached breaking point before. When DD1 was little I felt like I couldn't cope, I was struggling with PnD. One night I just said to me DH I can't do this anymore I got in the car and drove phone switched off for 5 hours. I could have happily done a night in a hotel by myself.

You need to decide here are you a partnership or not? Are you with your husband thru thick and thin at a time when your both under a huge amount of stress or are you going to accuse him of cheating and sling him out. It's a hard decision but everyone is on the outside looking in, only you know your relationship and your husband. Go with your gut. Maybe speak to someone IRL