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Original poster

Would you believe this? Husband and hotel

281 replies

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:39

Will try to keep this short. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with a 20-month-old DD.

Today, I found an email in my husband's email account for a hotel room for two adults dated two weeks ago. Instantly, I felt sick, and I couldn’t hold it in to confront him. Initially, he said it was for a friend, then said he booked it as he had planned to leave me and changed his mind. He doesn't know why the room is listed for two adults and is clamining he just booked the room that showed available.

I have proof that the room was unused with a no-show charge on the invoice, but I honestly don’t know what to think or believe. He’s full of remorse, citing mental health and depression (new to me).

Things have been stressful with work (self-employed) and we have been going through a rocky patch for the past few months (arguments, me struggling in pregnancy and him saying he feels no love from me) however on the day he planned this, that morning I had woken up to blood on my underwear and had to call triage- he plans this?! He says it was a moment of madness and overwhelm, the day the booking was made for, we had zero arguments and it was a normal day except for him being more stressed than usual with work etc. And the scare with the baby. He came home from work and we had normal conversations etc.

He's not been out etc recently so if it was an affair it would have been at work, or online I’m assuming. He is self-employed so god knows what he’s been doing during the day.

He wants us to try and move past this, however, I don’t know if I’m just postponing the inevitable and he will leave one week postpartum etc.

OP posts:
cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:22

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:16

I'm not delusional. Are you drunk? Again, I'm sorry for whoever treated you poorly but I'm kind of understanding why.

Show quote history

Jesus Christ. You’re right you are confused.

LittleSoo · 09/08/2025 23:20

When booking hotels or Airbnbs, I've found the default is for 2 people. I wouldn't assume he was cheating based on that alone as it's easy to miss the people bit and not change it to one person, especially for hotel rooms.

The rest of it tho... He's a shit. Is he willing to talk it through or go to counselling? Has everything got on top of him and he just needed an escape no matter how I'll timed and stupid it was?

LittleMissNumber · 09/08/2025 23:19

Did he want the second child? Is that maybe what is making him freak out? No excuse at all though.

PringlesTube · 09/08/2025 23:18

Either way he’s a dick. Sorry op.

chatgptsbestmate · 09/08/2025 23:17

No one apart from DH knows what he was intending to do

It seems unlikely that he's telling the whole truth because he changed his story and his current story appears a bit weird and half baked

The trust is gone now, for the OP. DH is almost certain to leave or try to leave again

It's a mess.

I think I'd be inclined to try to shelve this problem with Dickhead DH and get through the birth and out the other side.

Give it a few weeks and see how things are then

Tbh I can't think of a better suggestion

Kicking him out, just before the birth, is going to be hugely disruptive for the toddler

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:17

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 23:11

Up until May time it was a happy relationship, then life, work, toddler and pregnancy struggles all came to a head at once.

Show quote history

I'm sorry those things have happened. Please ignore posters who are trying to make out he must have been cheating just because they've been cheated on.

How are things at home now?

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:16

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:13

They are. You’re delusional if you think they’re not. It’s just not happened yet or you don’t know about it.

Show quote history

I'm not delusional. Are you drunk? Again, I'm sorry for whoever treated you poorly but I'm kind of understanding why.

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:13

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:08

No one said OP was in a happy relationship. Stop twisting things.

You said "no man is going to stay loyal". That's nonsensical bollocks. It's not useful, helpful or true.

Frankly, your comment is going to encourage women to stay with bastards because you're trying to convince people all men are the same.

Show quote history

They are. You’re delusional if you think they’re not. It’s just not happened yet or you don’t know about it.

Original poster
atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 23:11

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:08

No one said OP was in a happy relationship. Stop twisting things.

You said "no man is going to stay loyal". That's nonsensical bollocks. It's not useful, helpful or true.

Frankly, your comment is going to encourage women to stay with bastards because you're trying to convince people all men are the same.

Show quote history

Up until May time it was a happy relationship, then life, work, toddler and pregnancy struggles all came to a head at once.

OP posts:
FlamingoFloss · 09/08/2025 23:10

I know this frowned upon - but have you looked at his phone/email? I think in these circumstances you need to try and find out

Original poster
atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 23:10

Anon501178 · 09/08/2025 22:52

Whether he was cheating or not, the fact he was planning to leave his 35wk pregnant wife and baby, on the day you had bleeding, and really needed him to step up the most, is disgusting.

I think you need to have a serious chat and see how the hell you move forward from this....if he is genuinely remorseful and you can beleive there is nothing else going on, perhaps things can improve (although you obviously have a baby shaped bombshell about to appear which is probably going to make things even more challenging in the relationship dept)

Did he say why he was going to leave?
It's a really shitty thing to do to someone in your position, especially without any prior discussion or notice about the issues between you!

We had spoke about in the weeks before how both of us weren't happy and things had to change, me feeling unsupported and him struggling with feeling he can't do anything right and work pressures and he's now saying he was struggling to cope with everything.

I agree with the bombshell that the stress of a new baby is about to bring and the struggles of postpartum, how can I get through that wondering if he's planning this again etc.

I'd semi understand if we had a massive argument and it lead to this on that day, but we hadn't.

OP posts:
ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:08

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:06

It is though. Who’s falling for this shit! Clearly isn’t a happy relationship if he’s hiding hotel bookings.

Show quote history

No one said OP was in a happy relationship. Stop twisting things.

You said "no man is going to stay loyal". That's nonsensical bollocks. It's not useful, helpful or true.

Frankly, your comment is going to encourage women to stay with bastards because you're trying to convince people all men are the same.

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:06

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:04

No, it's not realistic. It's nonsense.

I'm sorry for whatever shitty men you've chosen - some of us aren't so naive.

Show quote history

It is though. Who’s falling for this shit! Clearly isn’t a happy relationship if he’s hiding hotel bookings.

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:04

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:04

It’s realistic. That’s on you if you want to stay with someone who’s sneaky and doesn’t care about your feelings. So many are extremely naive when it comes to relationships.

Show quote history

No, it's not realistic. It's nonsense.

I'm sorry for whatever shitty men you've chosen - some of us aren't so naive.

cha04 · 09/08/2025 23:04

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:00

Well that nonsense isn't helpful or useful, is it? Plenty of men are, have been and will be "loyal".

This guy is a shit head but you clearly have issues with men in general and are trying to push your weird hatred and don't care whether OP is the collateral damage in that.

Show quote history

It’s realistic. That’s on you if you want to stay with someone who’s sneaky and doesn’t care about your feelings. So many are extremely naive when it comes to relationships.

whitewineandsun · 09/08/2025 23:02

Lesina · 09/08/2025 22:57

He was planning to leave you. You are pregnant with a small child. Whether or not he has hooked up with every Victoria Secret model in existence is irrelevant. He was planning to fuck off and leave you pregnant and vulnerable. Kick him to the kerb.he’s a cunt.

And definitely this. He's quite the bastard, isn't he?

ConfusedSloth · 09/08/2025 23:00

cha04 · 09/08/2025 22:58

Of course he’s lying to you and you’re falling for he’s ridiculous excuses. It was booked for him and someone else! Women need to wake up and realise no man is going to stay loyal. Don’t do yourself an injustice by stating with him. Use and abuse like they do to us.

Show quote history

Well that nonsense isn't helpful or useful, is it? Plenty of men are, have been and will be "loyal".

This guy is a shit head but you clearly have issues with men in general and are trying to push your weird hatred and don't care whether OP is the collateral damage in that.

cha04 · 09/08/2025 22:58

atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:39

Will try to keep this short. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with a 20-month-old DD.

Today, I found an email in my husband's email account for a hotel room for two adults dated two weeks ago. Instantly, I felt sick, and I couldn’t hold it in to confront him. Initially, he said it was for a friend, then said he booked it as he had planned to leave me and changed his mind. He doesn't know why the room is listed for two adults and is clamining he just booked the room that showed available.

I have proof that the room was unused with a no-show charge on the invoice, but I honestly don’t know what to think or believe. He’s full of remorse, citing mental health and depression (new to me).

Things have been stressful with work (self-employed) and we have been going through a rocky patch for the past few months (arguments, me struggling in pregnancy and him saying he feels no love from me) however on the day he planned this, that morning I had woken up to blood on my underwear and had to call triage- he plans this?! He says it was a moment of madness and overwhelm, the day the booking was made for, we had zero arguments and it was a normal day except for him being more stressed than usual with work etc. And the scare with the baby. He came home from work and we had normal conversations etc.

He's not been out etc recently so if it was an affair it would have been at work, or online I’m assuming. He is self-employed so god knows what he’s been doing during the day.

He wants us to try and move past this, however, I don’t know if I’m just postponing the inevitable and he will leave one week postpartum etc.

Of course he’s lying to you and you’re falling for he’s ridiculous excuses. It was booked for him and someone else! Women need to wake up and realise no man is going to stay loyal. Don’t do yourself an injustice by stating with him. Use and abuse like they do to us.

Original poster
atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:57

DorothyStorm · 09/08/2025 22:57

Did you look for any other bookings?

The bookings were in his deleted folder, only two emails in there and both related to the hotel booking.

OP posts:
Lesina · 09/08/2025 22:57

He was planning to leave you. You are pregnant with a small child. Whether or not he has hooked up with every Victoria Secret model in existence is irrelevant. He was planning to fuck off and leave you pregnant and vulnerable. Kick him to the kerb.he’s a cunt.

DorothyStorm · 09/08/2025 22:57

Did you look for any other bookings?

whitewineandsun · 09/08/2025 22:52

TrickorTreacle · 09/08/2025 22:45

I use hotels quite often (for work), and even as 1 guest, the room is always listed as for 2 people. I've never seen a single hotel room ever.

Obviously though, fingers crossed that he isn't cheating.

Yeah, this. His explanations are ridiculous, though.

Anon501178 · 09/08/2025 22:52

Whether he was cheating or not, the fact he was planning to leave his 35wk pregnant wife and baby, on the day you had bleeding, and really needed him to step up the most, is disgusting.

I think you need to have a serious chat and see how the hell you move forward from this....if he is genuinely remorseful and you can beleive there is nothing else going on, perhaps things can improve (although you obviously have a baby shaped bombshell about to appear which is probably going to make things even more challenging in the relationship dept)

Did he say why he was going to leave?
It's a really shitty thing to do to someone in your position, especially without any prior discussion or notice about the issues between you!

Lemonadeat8 · 09/08/2025 22:51

Even if he was planning to leave that makes things at breaking point. Maybe there’s been more bookings.

Original poster
atatotallosss · 09/08/2025 22:50

Morestepsplease · 09/08/2025 22:48

Even if he was planning to leave you (don’t believe it sorry) what was the hotel for? Why only one night if he was leaving you forever? He could have just slept on the settee if there was a problem at home. Stupid story.

He is saying he just needed space and time to get his head together when I pressed this.

OP posts: