To be so sick of being broke?

OP, it looks like you’re paying off around £600/£700 of debt from various sources, so I’m guessing it must be a significant amount. How long until you’re out of it? That should ease financial pressures a lot. Is there any way to consolidate that debt so you can get better interest rate or shorter payback time?

I’d also recommend looking out a cheaper WiFi provider. We have had Toob for £25 a month since before the pandemic and it coped comfortably with 4 people doing Teams meetings, gaming, and delivering webinars almost constantly. That alone would be an extra £40 a month on your pocket.

It would be worth getting in touch with Citizens Advice Bureau to help explore your options. On a household income of over £3000 and a rent of £600 you should have plenty of space for wriggle room.

At the moment you’re using emotion focused coping strategies - anger, frustration, defensiveness, as well as problem focused strategies - applying for jobs, etc. Shifting the balance to more problem focused coping strategies - exploring options to manage the debt, ways of reducing costs, looking at evening/weekend jobs, etc. just in the short term could help.

I’d be managing this in a different way, but I am not you, and my needs are not your needs. The key is getting out of debt, or at least reducing the debt to a manageable level, and for that I think you need outside support from organisations like CAB.

Well to be fair, the OP has come back but her situation is pretty much how I said.

But if she thinks she's had a rough ride on here, its nothing compared with what MSE would tell her.

No-one on there gets away with paying that much for phone and broadband, twice as much as necessary for groceries, branded medication and letting her adult DC live for free. Or 'just having a moan'. Do something constructive or accept that you'll keep struggling.

How is she skint, though?! She's not. No one skint has her food budget and disposable income.

This is not true. I’ve worked in clinical trials for 12 years. Just because a drug is licenced doesn’t mean researchers don’t run clinical trials on it! For example to test new indications, new dosing methods/regimes, new target participant populations etc.

Oh, I see - thanks.

People are absolutely brutal and way too damn high on their horses.

You are by no means frivolous! You SHOULD be able to treat yourself to something (like subscriptions) and prioritise your health.

The only area you could maybe shave back is groceries and household items which may put back £100 in your pocket so will hardly be life changing tbh.

Until either of you can get higher paying jobs it’s going to be real tight. But hopefully it’ll give you guys momentum to keep pushing for more!

Are you and/or your partner able to retrain in anything?

I retrained to be a midwife, we were actually better off on benefits while I was at uni than my previous job and I now earn £50,000 before my unsociable hours and overtime shifts, more like £70,000 (I do a lot of overtime as I like lots of holidays). No previous care experience. Don't know how old you are but I have recently had a student who qualified in her 50s. You can retrain when you are older in many fields.

My husband has been minimum wage his whole life and has just got a well paying civil service job with no experience apart from retail.

Is your husband on minimum wage when working permanent nights?

I know you weren't asking for advice, it is tough to get out of the rut especially when you are trying to pay off debts.

I can relate to the 'looking normal' with an autistic child. My son has met so many barriers because he looks fine and is clever 🙄We get next to no support from the government or the school, yet if he wasn't a 'rule follower' we would get loads.

Well done on the weight loss, we are both on it and no matter my financial situation I would find a way to make it work. 6 stone down and 3 to go! It is an absolute life changer. I actually save money on it because I eat far less and I don't buy nearly as much rubbish!

Have you got long left on the debt payments? Just think when.they are finished you will feel so much better off! But if you have a long time left on them are you able to try and get them lower if you are going to be doing it over years anyway?

You are entitled to rant. Yes, probably are some places you could save a bit but at the same time when you work hard you deserve some treats too. You end up feeling like there is no point in working if you get no benefits of enjoyment out of it!

I second the MSE, I made quite a bit a few years ago swapping bank accounts, I had a couple open already so was able to do it 3 times.

I also sold on vinted and I couldn’t believe how much some of the things I had went for. I had old tablets, trainers, sandals and even a camera I no longer used and over a few months I had made £800.

I also signed up to club card plus at Tesco - you get a month for free and it’s 7.99 a month after that, you get two 10% off vouchers a month so if you do your Tesco shop in store you can get up to £20 off two shops a month.

Finally I use an app called Tuck, I buy a £500 voucher - what I use in a month in Tesco through them and I get 5% cash back. It means I never run out of food money and I get £20 extra a month.

None of these are life changing but I really enjoy getting £60 off my Tesco shop per month.

you can’t say that with any certainty without knowing where OP lives. Good luck paying for rent, council tax, £9 daily TFL charge, and everything else in London with £3800 per month.

I know loads of people have said similar things but you are paying over the necessary for phones and internet and food bills. I work from home full time and need high speed internet and mine is £25/month. I only get a new phone really every 5-6 years and I shop around for something affordable on contract and once it's paid off I switch to SIM only for under £8. If I was broke I'd be even more careful as there are cheaper deals.

I am not broke. Actually I earn a lot but I'm a single mum and I've lost my job before and ended up living on savings for a year. The only benefits I qualified for were job seekers and basic child benefit for 6 months. So I know what it is to have no income and also a lot and I'm telling you it's all about the little choices you make which save the day and you should always be thinking about saving and a long term plan.

I have earned under £30k in the past and at that time I was buying the discounted items in the super market and freezing them, I had barely any subscriptions, I found good things to do for free. I enjoyed my life still a lot. It wasn't always easy but I didn't feel hard done by and that was on one income, not 2.

On a side note if DD1 attends college, I'm assuming they went to school? Why were you a full time carer for 20 years?

I'm not saying they are not disabled but i know other parents with really quite disabled children too and the children go to specialist schools while they go to work. You should focus on gaining experience in your current role so you can progress and earn more. Cut back on unnecessary spending. Prioritise paying off the debts ASAP and once those are paid off you'll be much better off.

I am a single parent who works PT, is a carer for her parents and relies on carers allowance and UC. I get what its like to have very little money.

But I dont spunk money on unneccessary things and then moan I cant afford the neccessities! I could cut your expenditure down by £300 straight away. Which chucked at your debt would make a big difference.

The simple fact is YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE THINGS YOU WANT. Neither can I! So you know what? I dont buy them! I do without. I dont like it and I wish things were different but they aint so I have to accept it.

I agree with this actually. The daily grind of being skint, working (more than) full time and steering an autistic young adult and a teen through life is not something I’d do willingly and I can only imagine how a big debt v a small income seems like an impossible mountain to climb.
Saving a few quid here and there might not seem worth it amongst all that.
It IS worth it though. There’s been a lot of good advice in amongst the snide comments. Maybe pick that one thing to change (ideally the one that financially impacts the most) at a time. Every little step is one step nearer to freedom from those debts (cliched I know, but still true!)

This is £5 with a delivery charge as well. Meaning Benadryl in Tescos is cheaper

For some reason, I thought the brand name said "Anus" when I read it at a glance quickly - I wondered why you'd need anus cream for hay-fever! 😆🤧😅

I’m not in a minimum wage job but I also earn less than I did 20 years ago, even though I’m working in the same field. Blows my mind really to think about it when everything else has increased in price.

OP is not spending on cigarettes and booze so reasonable to have a tv package for downtime. And £25 gym membership is very cheap, definitely worth it if gym also has pool and use is made of it. I pay £50 for my gym membership and there are more expensive ones than that in my local area.

The average grocery bill for family of four is £120pw and OPs spend also includes dog food, care, toiletries and household essentials so not that far off.

The only advice I have OP is get on MSE threads for inspiration. Maybe make a couple hundred here and there by switching bank accounts. Sell unwanted / unused items / clothes online or car boot sales. Losing that much weight you will need a new wardrobe so sell your old clothes.

Good luck!

I've been getting acrivastine on prescription for decades. I think it's outrageous that OP's GP won't prescribe it.

My allergies are year round, not hay fever, so it would cost me a fortune if I had to buy it. Plus I'm old, and don't even have to pay for prescriptions.

https://www.weldricks.co.uk/products/almus-allergy-relief-acrivastine-8mg-capsules-pack-of-12

Generic Acrivastine is available

I didn’t realise that was the official definition of being an adult. Silly me.

Thid couple are working full time jobs, they have adult children that are still dependent on them because that’s just the way life is now, and they are doing their best to make ends meet. They have minimal extras, broadband - needed for job, gym and Mounjaro - important for health and mental health. And then they pay for Netflix. They are hardly living outside their means. Two adults working full time should be able to have a bit of flexibility. So to come on here bashing her because she’s not surviving on the bare minimum in life and saying she’s not an adult is rude and unnecessary. People are allowed to moan. Because it’s shit, two working adults can’t even have a few minimal ‘luxuries’ without money becoming really tight so yeah I think it’s fine to have a moan about it

I think part of the problem with being skint is that every one has helpful suggestions that often are 'you could try this' and it feels just knackering to have another 10 things to try , to save scraps of money here and there

The bastards just don't want to pay for them. My surgery did the same when I asked for fexofenadine on prescription. I live in an affluent area but I'm not affluent. Ask a different gp and tell them you are struggling to afford them otherwise. Might be worth another try OP??

I think asking kids to contribute would be really good. If they each contributed only £60 a month , that's your debt repayment accounted for (the £112 one)
It's also helpful for them to start to learn stuff like that. The other thing a friend had to do with her parents was, she was veggie, and they weren't, so she would buy her veggie alternatives every month as her contribution. It worked well as her mum was baffled by vegetarian stuff in the 1980s 🤣
I think there would be ways to make them financially responsible for something in the family and it would ease the wheels a bit

Yup, being skint is utterly shit.

However, you've a roof over your head, enough to pay off your debts and put food on the table.

You could choose not to support two adults who have some income - and then you would have income to save for emergencies like the car dying or the washer going kaput.

However you've prioritised supporting your adult children, and skint is the result of that choice.

You can get moany and pissy about being skint, or you could focus on the fact you had enough income to make that choice in the first place.

Personally, in your shoes I'd be asking the adult kids for a suitable percentage of their income toward food/bills. And then save that toward emergencies.

Absolutely this!

Well she’s spending nearly a grand a month on groceries, so even if the hunger comes back, she should just about be able to manage 😂

If that’s the case and everything is hunky dory, why is the OP moaning?

Acting like an adult would be recognising that paying down the debt ASAP is the most important thing to do, and whilst you might get away with one item such as gym/netflix/ultrafast internet/mounjaro, paying for all of them and still complaining isn’t the best course of action.