To be so sick of being broke?

Moan away op. Paying back debt is a hard slog with a very slow reward...bit like dieting and many of us find that a challenge to stick to!

I work from home full time and on BT we have fast fibre broadband , phone and TV including Netflix for under £50 a month - it’s never failed me in 4 years in terms of working and I deal with a lot of big data files.

Your food budget is really high even with pet expenses , especially when you’re paying for Mounjaro on top of that - do you rely a lot on convenience meals ?

the tax break for working at home has been cut back this year - when I checked it was £60 and for me not worth the paperwork

I feel for you both working long hours on minimum wage but I think there are some changes you can make with a little effort and hopefully the debt backlog will mean payments reduce soon

@ClassicalQueen excellent advice.

i have very low income and no subscriptions, 10.05 pcm internet, 15 mobile contracts (me and two sons sims only, second hand devices from cash gen) no holidays, don’t buy anything on credit. I over pay gas and elec so currently £500 in credit. We go without ALOT but i simply am not in a position
to work longer hours and choose not to claim benefits .

IRL I know a few people who both work time and complain about being in debt, but their spending habits got them there - not the boat people, not the neighbours cat , but their own spending. one had a car on finance snd chose to get married on a plane and wedding in the carribean .So yeah, you will get in debt on a low income.

if you can’t afford it don’t buy it.

I would say stick with the weight loss injections-when you’re slim and confident you’re more likely to get a better job.
Prime is £9 a month - peanuts compared to buying food.
Get some of the jack monroe cheap recipe books second hand and have a more boring but much cheaper diet

Everything is really expensive at the moment, but unfortunately in that much debt, you do need to cut out the luxuries. You are not entitled to be able to afford MJ or the gym or subscriptions. If you want to keep those, you can't really complain about having no spare money.
You're in a lot of debt and I'd personally tackle paying that off first. I'd also not work unpaid hours at work...

OP I am not surprised you want a rant. This sounds very difficult.

Do you have a good view on when your debts - utilities, water, council tax etc will be cleared and you’ll have more breathing space in your budget? That might help you see light at the end of the tunnel and that it’s only temporary. If I were you I would cut the luxuries and look for a better broadband deal, challenge the household to cut the grocery spend - like that show eat well for less TV show - doing brand swaps etc. And then once a debt is paid - eg when the £450 bill becomes £200, you’ll be able to add something back in - be that gym or injections or more branded groceries etc and do the same when the next debt goes etc.

But then feel free to ignore as I know you don’t want advice.

Just want to send some solidarity.
Its shit.
Really shit when you can't see any chance of things improving anytime soon.
Amd everytime I go food shopping, seems more and more has gone up again in price.
Hope the utility debts are paid off soon, as the extra you are having to pay there is probably the little bit of wiggle room that you need.

And we'll done for taking control and getting the weight loss injections.
its not a miracle cure or cheating. Just a different tool.
Others I know on them say they are saving more £ on food than the injections are costing them anyway.

You're spending nearly, thirty pounds a day on food and toiletries. That is extremely high especially considering that one of you is on weight loss drugs and that causes you to have very little appetite.

You are supporting two adults and Im assuming they don't contribute to the household? In that case this should be.

The eldest has her own benefits. Therefore, she should be buying her own food or giving you some money towards your food bill. She should be paying her own mobile phone bill and her own toiletries. She's twenty two.She's been an adult for 4 years now.

Same goes for the eighteen year old. She's working part time.She can pay her own mobile bill and toiletries etc

She doesn't want advice, she wants sympathy and to be told she should definitely carry on the the weight loss jabs and her extra fripperies even though she's in debt and struggling.

Anyone who disagrees with her and doesn't offer her the response she wants is being nasty and spiteful oh and smug.

Oh my goodness, I cannot believe all the nasty and condescending comments on your post.
It sounds like you and your husband have both been working incredibly hard and trying to find better-paying jobs, but for some reason, it hasn’t been working out. I know it’s tough, but both your children are in higher education, and you’ve shown them such a great work ethic. You absolutely deserve to have Netflix and a gym membership. Try to ignore the negative comments and focus on what truly matters.

And btw..if the gym membership helps the husband with his mh and fitness its very worth it as working permanent nights is a factor for poor health.

I do think life is expensive now - more so than 5 or 10 years ago. Unfortunately this means a lot of things we consider as normal, reasonable things to expect in life (gym memberships, TV subscriptions) are not actually essential but have become a bit of a luxury because of the cost of living. Ditto weight loss injections and having a dog - they no doubt feel essential because you are used to them.

I am not at all saying you should get rid of any of these, just maybe reframe your thinking to feel like you are doing ok to be able to afford these luxuries. We didn't get a cat until the dc were out of preschool childcare because we had no spare money and would have struggled with any vet bills - and even things like paying someone to feed them. I feel quite skint at the moment compared to my friends, similarly not in a position to change anything much, and do find it comforting to remind myself we're lucky to have cats (2 now!), gym membership etc which do improve my quality of life.

God its a race to the bottom in the UK.

God forbid a family who work hard and struggle to raise a child with sen watch some tv to relax.

Mc families could spend in a single outing or meal out what the op is spending on her tv subscriptions

Op ignore the joyless critics who think poor people should live a hair shirt existence. Obviously losing weight will help you get fit and hope you can use the energy gained to find better work.

Raising a sen child has held back your earnings . You are a family on a low wage and I think the key would be someone in the family raising the income coming in.

You asked for help and when advice comes you become defensive !
We have 4 adults in our household and food shopping is approx £600 a month maximum.
Yiu either need to cut spending, get a better paid job or get DC to start contributing.

True but you can see why if benefits were suddenly removed for an adult DD overnight and Covid screwed the husbands work situation.
Blame does not change these facts.

It’s debt repayment that is killing their finances.

Exactly, it's like Calpol. Which is just liquid paracetamol for children. Apparently some parents are only able to give their kids Calpol, according to an A&E consultant I saw once, who told me that they refuse give generic medication as "it's not the same". 😅😳

Even though it is.🤷

Some of the responses the op is getting are really mean I don’t blame her for biting back tbh. This thread has probably made you feel worse not better. Mumsnet isn’t the real world op they all earn 250 grand a year (apparently) and if you are what they consider to be poor you shouldn’t even be watching the tv. Tbh i think they just thrive on this kind of stuff. It used to be a nice place it isn’t anymore.

It’s incredibly shit that 2 people working full time have to worry about paying for one or two (very small!) luxuries

The attitude of some of the responses here is even worse

If you are in a better position than OP - don’t forget, some of that is down to pure luck with the cards you have been dealt

so therefore you are not broke. You are in debt and trying to < afford > nice things. You lost me. Sorry. Back to basics, money management courses, all this. They give you everything here. Not where I come from. We learn it from life and when hardship knock on your door, it is not what you want, but basics for life

I get it - £15 a week extra is bloody appalling for a lot of extra responsibility but sucking that up for a short while would mean he has supervisory experience and can then apply for higher level jobs. 🤷‍♀️
You are also by the sounds of it doing unpaid overtime on MW jobs - is that right?
If it is, that’s illegal and you should get advice from ACAS or CAB