To be so sick of being broke?

That's a fair post. No one broke is paying off debts and spending what you are on food after bills.

I understand you just wanted a moan but your financial set-up seems absolutely ridiculous to me. It's no wonder you're broke if you're spending £100 on weight loss injections, £20 on streaming services, £100 on mobile phones and nearly a grand on food

I agree.

just remember
“you are living someone else’s dream” even in your current situation.

believe it or not, but I consider you to be in a better position than me as you still have things for yourself. I currently don’t (gym, jabs, Netflix)

I know it sucks

You are making ends meet. You're paying your bills, being able to stock up your house with what you want (sorry but it is an awful lot you're spending on groceries), being able to choose not to ask your adult children to even pay for their own mobile contracts. And, you're also able to choose several non-essentials like WLJ, gym membership, and streaming.
On top of you're also able to pay about 20% of your take-home against debts (which is a huge amount proportionately and can this definitely not be reduced and spread over a longer term?)
Fair enough you can't, after all this, also save up for rainy day events or for treats like breaks away. But you could easily afford the hay-fever meds you need if you made some changes. You just can't do or have everything, and neither can most people. What would it take for you to reframe this as you're paying off debts, taking care of your adult kids, keeping on top of bills,and also having some treats?

It's a well-known fact that when you have a scarcity of resources, it's really hard to take that step back and make the decisions that will save money, you just focus on the next need. Those who criticise the OP should look at a book called Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much no need to read it, just the synopsis.

Agreed. Depends highly on your housing situation. If mortgage paid off you are fine but trying to pay rent/mortgage on low wages is hard going.

OK, fine, but still work out how you're spending nearly 30 pounds a day on food and toiletries. When one of you, is on weight loss medication, which should drastically reduce your appetite.

What's the game plan for the eldest?She just lives off you forever more?

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock

Just to add, you mentioned being a carer and I just wanted to say that i think another consideration here which maybe people who have no experience of or don’t know people with kids who have additional needs is that sometimes they will only eat a very restricted diet and this could be particular branded items or expensive fresh food often related to sensory issues.

eg I have a friend who’s son is very specific and wouldn’t entertain any sort of “freezer filler” style food which I know I feed my kids on sometimes to pad out expensive food bills, my kids will have a frozen pizza once a week or some fish fingers.

Just for reference if they will eat “freezer food” (obviously not as nutritional as fresh stuff!) but Iceland do 8 items for £10 on freezer food which is good to have in and £10 for 10 fridge type items

Also near us we have a community larder where you pay £5 for 15 items a time and they have some good things, anyone can join it.

We also have “too good to go” and “rescue” food sometimes and have had some great things on there

OP - keep going - it’ll get better as the debt is shifted and my parents always operated on a 25% of what we took home for board money Which is something I’d be considering under the circumstances. My parents didn’t “need” the money but it taught us we couldn’t live for free.

as for the weight loss drugs if people are healthier with a lower BMI in turn they’ll cost the nhs less with a reduced chance of obesity related illnesses and If it makes you feel better in yourself and improved mental health (like gym membership too) I’d prioritise these and look at doing a bit of a family food challenge and see about that, factoring everyone’s needs in and working on it together - please everyone let’s be kind here x

I feel sorry for you OP. I had friends in similar circumstances- can you reduce hours at PAYe work which would enable you to get some UC and use the extra time for a cash in hand job? (That’s what my friends did and they now have less stress and more cash). Good luck x

I feel sorry for you OP. I had friends in similar circumstances- can you reduce hours at PAYe work which would enable you to get some UC and use the extra time for a cash in hand job? (That’s what my friends did and they now have less stress and more cash). Good luck x

Family of 4 here with dog and a cat, not huge earners at all. Eldest also starts uni in Sept and its blooming expensive what we will have to contribute... dog needs monthly meds due to allergies and a 'special' diet but our groceries/pet bills/ pet food are at least £250 lower than yours. Maybe do a weekly food list and see if you can cut this down as I think with planning you should be able to save there.

Does this help ?

https://www.gov.uk/options-for-dealing-with-your-debts

This thread is so frustrating, because straight away I can see how you could save quite a lot each month and offer advice on where to cut costs and get out of debt. But sadly you don't want advice, you just want sympathy and a moan.

Sometimes people really don't help themselves. I cannot sympathise with someone who isn't prepared to make simple changes to better their financial position.

https://www.gov.uk/married-couples-allowance

Meant at one point I had ...

Its really tough when a lot of extra responsibility comes with very little immediate reward .
At one point 1 had a " step up" on the NHS pay scales when moving from the top of one band was equivalent to the bottom of my new " higher " one, until you had been in post for 3 years , at which point you got an incremental rise . Sometimes you need to take the "stepping stone" promotion to be able to move up from there and benefit from the very small increase in the meantime .

Welcome to 21st century rip off Britain!

"Netflix, Amazon and a VPN so I can watch a bit of US TV are treats thanks.

Streamers here in the US are going to be going more hard core with VPN bans.

Just sayin'.

https://www.gov.uk/tax-relief-for-employees/working-at-home

I'd expect them to pay for their own phones, toiletries, and something towards their food.

It's the debt (maybe 500ish per month?) that's killing your finances.

When will it actually be paid off?

I have only read the Ops posts so this may have been said before - but on youtube there are a number of frugal vloggers who have great ideas about how to cut costs. My favourite if frugal queen in France- she's British and granted living in France seems to be hugely cheaper for quite alot of things, but she has some great tips which I have incorporated into my life.

I have worked from home for one employer doing high intensity work
Never had a VPN
Had secure login systems
No issues

I do not understand why you are paying
£65 for internet
£65 for subscriptions & VPN

You can apply for some rebate if you WFH
It used to be approx £6 per week

Your food bill is high
Change supermarket
Try Olio or Too Good To Go food waste apps
Yellow sticker food & freeze

Ideally get the adult children to pay some into the houshold pot
Letting them stay for free at home is not teaching them about budgeting

I just want to add, I don’t intend to offend OP with my post- it’s just my view point and my scenario x