To be so sick of being broke?

People who go away for college & uni have to manage their budgets

Therefore, what budgets are your children managing ?

US TV programmes are these available free on Youtube or some other platforms ?

It's SO draining feeling tight with no end in sight.

I guess the way to try and look at it to get a bit more satisfaction is that you DO actually have some 'luxuries' in your life (you're allowed them don't worry!). Which is lovely.

The only problem I see with them is they are all fixed monthly commitments, not something you can go up and down on easily. If you were to rearrange some of this, it would increase your flexible money, which you can spend on treats when you have good months, but allows you to cover the essentials when things are tight. I think it's mainly your balance of fixed and variable spend is what's making things feel really rubbish.

Look at it another way. You owe people money. Imagine if someone owed you a load of money but, for example, instead of paying you back as fast as humanly possible, they were paying to watch US TV when there's plenty of free TV around. Would you be happy with that?

You would be much better taking a short term hit, cutting your costs right back and paying your debts off. That way you're being fair to your creditors and releasing yourself from the shackles of debt so you'll have much more to spend on luxuries.

I work in a weight loss service NHS can verify this is correct. It's a postcode lottery right now and even then it's very restricted.

Are you on glue?

It's really shit at the moment, everything is so expensive. Once your debt repayments stop things will look better, but yeah depressing at the moment. I definitely think you should keep the mounjaro and gym as they are health investments and will benefit you in the long run. Quite honestly I don't see those as a luxury.

I do agree that your food bill is high and if it was me I'd reduced the subs temporarily at least.

The thing I really would do I ask your kids to contribute a small amount. I know you said you didn't want to but the reality is that your eldest on UC has that money to cover things like her food and phone. Even if just a token amount it would help with small unexpected expenses. I mean if you're paying for all their food/toiletries/phone etc what do they spend their money on?

Would be interesting to know what things you can list as “using only for work”.

It's the debt that is crippeling you but your grocery bill is very high!
We are a family of 4 adults and our monthly grocery spend is around £450 - £500. (I'm also with Shemed and the food costs have gone down since I started).
You need to focus on paying off the debt asap - if you could reduce your grocery bill by £200 a month you could pay off the debt sooner!

But the OP's main issue is her partner who turns down opportunities to earn more.

Almost no one is eligible on nhs for obesity. Bmi over 40 and 4 out of heart disease, blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnoea and diabetes. And in my area the clinics to prescribe under that criteria are nowhere near being set up,and we're being funded for about a third of the people we think meet those criteria. Nothing to do with the GP

Thanks for explaining

And she's come to a public forum to do it. Hence I'm entitled to call her out on her attitude to others trying to help.

It is true for some drugs but not for others. For example, paracetamol and anti-inflammatories - never ever buy branded ones, the active ingredient in them is identical whether you buy Tesco's own brand or a big brand. Nurofen is a classic example - you're paying for their marketing, shiney packaging, tv advertising etc but getting the same as the supermarket own brand. Piriton is also a big brand, you can get much cheaper generic versions.

OTC (over the counter) drugs often have generic versions but those that are prescription only are less likely which is probably why you can't change your epilepsy drugs, (the active ingredients will be different).

They can get an education and financially contribute to the household that they live in.

I can understand it's hard for you. Anyone who is saying to stop the Monjaro obviously doesn't realise that obesity is a medical condition. Also, if you stop suddenly you will get massive rebound weight gain.
Also the gym is important for mental health and it's really not a huge cost. Looks like there may be ways to bring down your food budget but I get it's hard and depressing. Wishing you all the best.

Are you sure about that.

My mum was on a low-income when I started working. And her housing benefit was cut because of my income.

This was donkeys years ago, so I understand that UC has replaced housing benefit for the most part. I don't know though because i'm not on any benefits.

I think the working adults, income is taken into account with means tested benefits. I'm sure I remember reading about a non dependent deduction at some point with UC. So if she ended up with any universal credit towards housing costs, there be a nondependant deduction anyway. I think it is about £93 for each non delendant adult.

So reducing her working hours to claim benefits may not leave her any better off

And she's entitled to have a moan.

OP I can see why you’re struggling. Totally in denial and you have created a narrative around all of the ‘essentials’.

I do get though that you just wanted to moan and not practical advice. But having seen your outgoings list, I’m absolutely gobsmacked. It reads like a wind up.

The kids deserve an education which may be the only way they can break the poverty cycle.

OP has bitten the head off so many people in her replies who were trying to help, with good advice and intention, which may be tough love but she just doesn't want to know. Because she came for a 'moan' on a public forum and doesn't want advice. She's been sarcastic, nasty and IMHO undeserving of sympathy. Which she's made it very clear she doesn't want. Because she just wants a moan. A moan and a swipe at anyone who dared try to help.

Fundamentally OP, there ARE ways you could cut down, or improve your income a little bit by charging (temporarily and pay it back once the debt is paid?) your DDs a small rent. I probably would- if only to get a small emergency fund behind me for the inevitable car repairs and other sudden expenses. When there is no slush fund for these things, it’s incredibly difficult to dig yourself out of a hole
I get that my choices aren’t necessarily yours and that’s ok. You have to then accept that the shit broke phase is going to last longer and feeling sorry for yourself is unlikely to make you feel better.
Some posters have been a bit unkind granted, but that doesn’t alter the fact that you could improve your finances with a bit of tweaking if you choose to

I understand where you're coming from. Before the pandemic, we had a solid lifestyle, but COVID completely upended everything we lost our jobs, our savings were wiped out, and we still haven’t fully recovered. The rising cost of living has only made things harder. We’ve already cut back on everything we possibly can.
Just before the pandemic, I invested in a professional course to advance in my career, but I’ve struggled to find work in that field since. When people talk about upskilling, it’s important to remember that these courses can cost thousands, and for many of us who are barely staying afloat, that kind of expense just isn’t realistic.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock really good advice. I did find some government advice
Start phoning round tomorrow.

"Get free debt advice - GOV.UK" https://www.gov.uk/debt-advice