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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so sick of being broke?

633 replies

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 09/08/2025 20:12

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

OP posts:
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10
JLou08 · 10/08/2025 20:20

Spending £6 on hay-fever treatment when you can get it for under a pound probably plays quite a part in your struggles.

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 10/08/2025 20:20

Well done on the weight loss. It's obviously the debt killing you, so how long do you have to go until you complete any of the repayments?

NeuroSpicyCat · 10/08/2025 20:20

Okthenguys · 10/08/2025 19:53

On the mounjaro line item - OP I earn significantly more than you and have very little debt apart from a mortgage. When we’ve had unexpected bills or outgoings my mounjaro is the first thing to go.

How much do you earn? And how many kids are you supporting?

Venalopolos · 10/08/2025 20:18

BeltaLodaLife · 09/08/2025 20:28

@HoskinsChoice

Benadryl is just the brand name for Diphenhydramine. There are plenty of generics. It’s literally the same thing, any idea of “this is the only one which works for me” is just placebo because you know it’s brand name so think it’s better.

I think Benadryl is actually Acrivastine? We get it prescribed, it used to be Benadryl but now it's non branded Acrivastine.

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:18

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/08/2025 20:12

It's really tough, I hope DD1 gets the support she needs. A lot can be funded by the EHCP but they don't make it easy to access. I'm appealing again 😬 but we'll hopefully get there before he's 25.

My DS2 will hopefully be going to university in September, too. He's also autistic and has had some significant struggles with mental health, but his academic ability matching the education system for exams etc, means the path ahead is easier for him compared to DS1. I'm so glad for the EHCP and hopefully he'll finish with some useful qualifications, as well as therapeutic support.

I'm forever filling out the WLI things but not committed yet. I wouldn't stop them in your situation. I also think being obese (like I currently am) is a bit of a barrier with getting jobs. Not that I can even get an interview to horrify a prospective employer atm 😅

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Good luck to your DS2 in going to uni! That's such a massive achievement! You must be so proud of him. 😍

My dd2 has Dyslexia and when starting secondary school she was so down on herself and her academic skills, her confidence was so low. Primary did not help her at all! She's come so far, fantastic GCSEs (A in English Lit and Lang), she's done her English A Level, and (results pending on Thursday of course) is starting English Lit at uni in September. 😊

OP posts:
Singlehouseholdjoy · 10/08/2025 20:17

Ignore the twats OP
I grew up very poor on benefits and I think people expect you to sit in your coat and stare at the wall.
Well done on the mounjaro too.
I know you don't want solutions, just a moan, so solidarity! It's hard when everything keeps going up!

NeuroSpicyCat · 10/08/2025 20:17

Catladyof7 · 10/08/2025 19:44

I have just had a look to see if its worth changing. Its not

Is that Shemed deal for the higher dose?

Alpacahacker · 10/08/2025 20:15

OP it’s really shit. The only way to have a good quality of life now really is to earn quite a bit as things are very expensive.

However if you do want to change things you could cut your grocery costs down, you could stop paying the gym membership and mounjaro etc. Your internet bill seems very steep to me. However, whether you do that is up to you of course.

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:14

DeafLeppard · 10/08/2025 20:00

Disney+ also has a £4.99/month ad supported tier, too.

I get that free.

OP posts:
DeafLeppard · 10/08/2025 20:13

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 10/08/2025 20:02

I completely sympathise with you in not wanting to take money from your children but your children are adults with an income of their own , albeit as small one . Even a token of £50 per month each would help you balance your budget and is a good lesson in budgeting for them for the future .

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Would it help if you realise that there are many, many adults in full time work who don’t have £300 each month to spend on whatever the hell they want? Asking £50 for keep would help.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/08/2025 20:12

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:03

Yes, dd1 has an ECHP too. She's very keen to get qualifications before she turns 25 and may have to pay for college. She has savings from her Child Trust Fund (the government one) but it's not much. She's desperate to actually be able to work. In her own words, she just wants to be normal like her sisters. 😕

Show quote history

It's really tough, I hope DD1 gets the support she needs. A lot can be funded by the EHCP but they don't make it easy to access. I'm appealing again 😬 but we'll hopefully get there before he's 25.

My DS2 will hopefully be going to university in September, too. He's also autistic and has had some significant struggles with mental health, but his academic ability matching the education system for exams etc, means the path ahead is easier for him compared to DS1. I'm so glad for the EHCP and hopefully he'll finish with some useful qualifications, as well as therapeutic support.

I'm forever filling out the WLI things but not committed yet. I wouldn't stop them in your situation. I also think being obese (like I currently am) is a bit of a barrier with getting jobs. Not that I can even get an interview to horrify a prospective employer atm 😅

OP posts:
inspiringcarpet · 10/08/2025 20:10

A couple of things. I saw the She Med deal at £99 a month if you agreed to being monitored so can confirm that it existed. Unfortunately I had already started so couldn't do it. I'm with you though - my income has gone down recently but there is no way I am dropping the Mounjaro!! Secondly I know clearing the debt sooner is probably best but if you're struggling can you go back and ask to rearrange your payments - as long as you are agreeing to pay what is currently due plus any payment towards the debt then the council / social housing landlord / utilities can't take you to court. I know because I used to work in social housing and some people who owed thousands had agreement to pay £2.50 a week and we had to accept it.

BlueSeagull · 10/08/2025 20:10

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:05

You're right, because watching Netflix and going to the local council run gym is exactly the same as a holiday in the Maldives. Btw I haven't left the country since I was 15 and went on holiday with my mum! I'm sure someone will come along to find fault with that now too...

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Principle is the same it’s something that’s not a necessity that’s out of price range but would be nice to have

AndSoFinally · 10/08/2025 20:09

I mean £3.20 for gluten free bread is pretty steep I guess. Does Aldi do gluten free stuff? Not that I've seen. I guess I could just eat gluten and get the shits all the time. Although then I wouldn't be able to work if I can't get off the lav, so would lose my job. Hmmm, not exactly a fool proof plan.

It would seriously help with the weight loss though, which could then save you £99/month 😊

(Joke)

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:08

Blushingm · 10/08/2025 20:06

So why tell everyone it’s a clinical trial? Seems bizarre

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Because that's what it was called when I signed up.

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 10/08/2025 20:07

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/08/2025 19:59

My eldest is autistic, nearly 20 and he still attends a college. From September it will be a remote package (through his EHCP). I don't know the OPs DD, but ability to attend a college doesn't mean able to work. Certainly not the case for DS1.

DS1 has significant savings from an inheritance, but I know it is possible to get UC when over 18 and still in some kind of education, as others do.

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I agree.

My son isn't autistic, he has a different disability but he is able to attend mainstream primary school with a EHCP and I imagine that will be the same for high school and College too. I currently get highest rate care and mobility DLA for him.

Not sure what his future holds but holding down a full time job may not be possible.

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:07

DeafLeppard · 10/08/2025 19:57

Not really - it’s just not good for people to think things are clinical trials if it’s just every day sales. She-med are just suckering people into long term contracts with BS, when they could get the same thing elsewhere without having to sign anything.

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All I know is it's costing me £99 per month for 12 months as opposed to the £150-£250 per month my sister has been paying since she started on it last year.

OP posts:
Blushingm · 10/08/2025 20:06

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:05

Like I said in my follow up post....

Show quote history

So why tell everyone it’s a clinical trial? Seems bizarre

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:05

Blushingm · 10/08/2025 20:04

That’s what I was thinking…….im genuinely on a trial drug - I don’t pay for it. You don’t pay to be in a clinical trial.

besides mounjaro is licensed etc so there would be no clinical trial

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Like I said in my follow up post....

OP posts:
SunnySideDeepDown · 10/08/2025 20:05

£850/month on food is a lot, especially when one of the adults is on weight loss drugs with presumably a vastly reduced appetite.

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:05

BlueSeagull · 10/08/2025 20:01

The phrase champagne lifestyle orange juice budget comes to mind (or living beyond your means at any rate)Things such as Netflix, gym membership and Mounjaro are nice to have yes but you can’t afford them so don’t have them. If you can afford to keep a roof over heads and food in your fridge you’re doing better than some. Cut back on the luxuries use that to over pay debts.
I would like to be booking a holiday business class to the Maldives but I can’t afford to so I am not.

Edited

You're right, because watching Netflix and going to the local council run gym is exactly the same as a holiday in the Maldives. Btw I haven't left the country since I was 15 and went on holiday with my mum! I'm sure someone will come along to find fault with that now too...

OP posts:
Blushingm · 10/08/2025 20:04

DeafLeppard · 10/08/2025 19:50

This is bollocks. You can’t pay for a bona fide clinical trial.

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That’s what I was thinking…….im genuinely on a trial drug - I don’t pay for it. You don’t pay to be in a clinical trial.

besides mounjaro is licensed etc so there would be no clinical trial

AhBiscuits · 10/08/2025 20:04

The £850 a month on groceries was the thing that jumped out at me. That's crazy! I think we spend half that.

Original poster
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 10/08/2025 20:03

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/08/2025 19:59

My eldest is autistic, nearly 20 and he still attends a college. From September it will be a remote package (through his EHCP). I don't know the OPs DD, but ability to attend a college doesn't mean able to work. Certainly not the case for DS1.

DS1 has significant savings from an inheritance, but I know it is possible to get UC when over 18 and still in some kind of education, as others do.

Show quote history

Yes, dd1 has an ECHP too. She's very keen to get qualifications before she turns 25 and may have to pay for college. She has savings from her Child Trust Fund (the government one) but it's not much. She's desperate to actually be able to work. In her own words, she just wants to be normal like her sisters. 😕

OP posts:
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