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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parent invited herself while we were away.

206 replies

MyLuckyTiger · 09/08/2025 20:01

So I arranged a play date with my daughter’s friend at our house while we were out. Our nanny was going to look after them. The kids are both 9 years old. The mother of the child is a parent from her class. We picked up her daughter and brought her to our house and the mother was going to pick her daughter at 9. This is like 10th time they are at our house in the same format. While were out the mother came around 7 pm and stayed till around 9.20. She also brought her small toddler. And our nanny was basically entertaining three kids but mostly the toddler. I was a little surprised because mother never mentioned she was going to come this early and hang out at ours while we were not in the house. The interesting thing is, this is not the first time she is doing this and our nanny just assumed we were okay with this. I find it very weird. But we are in London recently so not sure if this is okay here. I mean I would expect it from a relative or a close friend but not a parent which I barely speak to. What do you think

OP posts:
MyLuckyTiger · 09/08/2025 21:06

Nanny now telling more and more information. We have a home mobile. Our daughter uses it call us and nanny uses it to order Deliveroo or a taxi. Turns out one time they ordered food for the mom too and around 6 months ago she went to our guest bedroom either to sleep or to pump her milk and came out 40 minutes later. I mean I heard them mentioning the mom this and that but I always assumed she just came to pick her daughter up, maybe talk to my nanny a bit while she was waiting for her daughter to get ready but not like this. I’m now mad with my nanny too.

OP posts:
MyLuckyTiger · 09/08/2025 20:49

Nanny comes over the weekend in the afternoon. I pay her good wage and tips on top so she won’t leave us for another job. She is very kind and playful and said she did not mind the toddler. Which could be true, as she could entertain a whole playground full of kids making up teams games etc. But even if it’s okay for her I don’t think it’s okay for the mom to act like this. Also I would be still mad if this mother came to our house even without her toddler. Just her being in our house regularly for 2-3 ours without telling us make me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 09/08/2025 20:30

I feel very sorry for your nanny having to entertain someone else's toddler at gone 9pm in the evening as well as 2 older children and an adult.

Please don't tell me she started work at 7am that day too.

The mum is being very cheeky. Your nanny is extremely accommodating. I wouldn't invite that child to your house again.

ThejoyofNC · 09/08/2025 20:22

Tell the nanny to send her an invoice for looking after her toddler!

nomas · 09/08/2025 20:19

This doesn’t sound fair to your nanny. Have a word with the CF mum that the nanny is there to take care of your dc.

Zempy · 09/08/2025 20:06

Tell nanny that if this happens again she should turf the visiting children and their CF mother out!!

Or just don’t invite her again if you won’t be there.