Families that don't do anything with children

TBF I used to live down south when the kids were small, there were 3 excellent parks so we went there a lot.

Then moved to the north east, we went to the seaside a lot.

None of the above cost that much money. Don't excuse people because they are poor fgs, it's infantilism.

It is a bit odd, but perhaps they were not taken for days out themselves. We would count as deprived I reckon but we have always loved a day out.

When I lived down south and the kids were small spent countless hours in certain parks. It was like playing where's Wally spotting the buggers in the paddling pools some times.

I grew up in poverty and we rarely did anything and honestly, it has never bothered me. It's just how it was. I read a lot and hung about with friends and it was fine. Now I'm a parent I try to do things with my daughter but I'm equally conscious of over-scheduling and over-taxing her so this has been the first summer holidays we've not done much - and it has been nice, relaxing and she is very, very well rested. Rest is important, more important imo than going out every day for the sake of it.

Some people really do live in their own bubble. I'm assuming by that person's username they live in a London borough. As a Londoner myself, I have to say that some of us are so insular we forget that not everywhere is London, with loads of free things to do and options for cheap (free for kids) public transport. Some people live in rural areas where you cannot walk because the roads have no pavements. They don't have buses because the roads were literally designed for horses and carts. Some people don't/can't drive either for medical or financial reasons. And even for those who do, petrol is not cheap. Its very easy to forget these things when you live in a large town or city.

But you don't have to buy ice creams or bits and bobs and you can take drinks. It just takes a tiny bit of forethought and organisation. As ever, the real answer is that for some it is laziness, can't be arsed, won't be fun for them (my ex), for others it will be travel issues, or health issues, or finances or a combination plus a genuine preference for an occasional quiet day, but let's not pretend that some of the reasons here are universally applicable and all stay at home types are great parents with a difficult situation. Sometimes people are just crap and lazy. What WE can't do though, usually, it tell one from the other. Doesn't mean they don't exist though.

I think personally that children are overwhelmed with so many hobbies and activities nowadays. My 5 yo has swimming, ballet and gymnastics and we enjoy two summer holidays away and a few weekend breaks. However I don't feel guilty at all for not taking her out of the house every now and then as I believe that children also need to be bored to be creative, use their imagination during playtime even if they are by themselves and definitely down time and rest. On these days I see her taking out all her arts and crafts and actually playing with her toys.

How do you know they don't? There's a whole lot of undiagnosed children in the UK for a number of reasons, long waiting lists and covid backlog to name just two. You can't just look at a child and say "that child doesn't have SEN" because contrary to what many people believe, they don't wear a sign over their heads saying "Hi, I'm SEN".

My point is, don't judge when you don't know the full story. You never know what's going on in the background.

I agree with the sentiments of previous posters. Just because someone is not you, does not mean there is something wrong with them

Does everyone have a nice park or a local library to take kids to?

Somewhere equally fun for a family with, say, an 8yo and a toddler and maybe a 5yo too?

And in truth, how much expansion of the mind really happens at the average park?

What you mean is that they don't do things the same way as you do? Surely that doesn't make them terrible? Different families, different children, different lives. They don't need excuses for doing things their way.

That’s why I said barring severe SEN. I completely understand why taking DCs with severe SEN out would be very difficult. I’m taking about those who don’t.

And I have ASD myself, I’m not going to make comments about others with ASD.

And what if said severe SEN child cannot cope with the sensory overload being in public place? And has severe meltdowns, causing other parents to stare and judge, also causing distress to the other children around, including their own siblings? Do you really think thats going to result in a positive experience? When the children are begging to go home because the whole thing has been a complete disaster. You're looking at this through a very ignorant lens. I bet you're one of the first ones making judgemental comments if you happen to see a severely autistic child having a meltdown in public.

This sounds pretty normal, there's no need to have super-organised days out with children all the time, though I know that some feel pressured to do it. It's nice for them to do all this everyday stuff when they're not at school all day, I'm sure that they enjoyed it. Mine certainly did. Parenting isn't a competitive sport.

Ah yes , blackberry picking. Tbf I don’t consider that leaving the house as the field is right behind the bins. We go in flip flops and I don’t even bother to put a bra on , so doesn’t count.

The second part read as another scenario to add on to the first. Regardless, just taking the first part I still don’t see why a lone parent can’t take their DCs out (barring severe SEN). No one is suggesting kids have to have big expensive days out, but experiences and getting outside are really important and their DCs should be prioritised. Park trips, picnics, woodland walks, community events, library, seeing DCs friends, leisure centre activities, trips to the beach if close enough, all free or cheap and great experiences for DCs.

Because people are narrow minded. There's plenty of activities you can do with children without leaving the house. Especially if you have a garden. I spent my childhood helping my dad grow vegetables. Yes we went on the odd trip to the seaside, but there's plenty of fun things you can do at home and it doesn't always mean you're sitting indoors doing nothing.

I don't understand why you/many people believe that staying at home means "sitting around". We don't have much so there are days when we're at home but we do loads of things at home. Making things (out of cereal boxes or whatever we have) baking low cost things (although I appreciate people less fortunate than us can't afford the extra in gas/electricity), we have "discos" at home, sometimes heaven forbid, movie days. Today we went blackberry picking but we're fortunate to have brambles really close to our house.

Just because we're at home doesn't mean we're just sat there doing nothing. Such a weird outlook.

Very surprised you apparently work with lots of families given you don't understand people have different lives to you and can't possibly imagine families do activities at home.

So much stealth boasting on this thread alone about what people are doing with their kids 🙄

That's what I thought.

Even what resources disabled children do get, it often has to be fought for and usually that's just involving a basic right to a suitable education.

Try reading the full post. I see you conveniently left out the second part.

In any event, you have no idea how much just the first part impacts what you can do if you've never been in that situation.

You're probably right, more to do with cba and a choice. Intelligence wise I meant knowing it's positive to take your beloved DC outside of the house, maybe some don't consider it important 🤔

Single parent with no support - and I mean NONE. Dad doesn't bother with them at all, nor even attempt to. Grandparents have passed away. Friends live too far and are busy with their own children.

@OverheardInLidl why would this mean the parent can’t take their kids out?

But thinking back to my own childhood it was fairly unusual to be taken out by parents all the time. When very young spent a lot of time in garden , when older played out with friends

I'll give a further example. My friend and I are scoring about 5-7 points difference on the IQ scale. She is the lower. But she is infinitely curious about the world, quantumn dynamics and the world in general. I am not.

So much of this is ridiculous excuse making. My parents had virtually no money when I was a child. We had the most marvellous days out. We’d be told in no uncertain terms before we left home that there would be no visiting gift shops or coffee shops. Mum would always pack a picnic and a picnic blanket. We didn’t ask for treats out as we knew we couldn’t afford it but we’d sometimes stop at the supermarket on the way home and be allowed one out of a multipack of ice creams if we’d been good. We also went camping for two weeks every summer but again all food would be bought at local cheep supermarket and taken with us and we knew there were no extras. Absolute joyous memories of childhood.