Families that don't do anything with children

I am the same!

I hear this attitude trotted out a lot about the importance of being "bored" and it really winds me up: I'm afraid I think mainly its self-justifying nonsense from people looking to excuse their own laziness.

People always bang on about kids playing out, damming streams, making dens and all this but they are not doing this, for the most part. They are on devices. "Learning to be creative" would require, in practice, a 24/7 screen ban which could only be enforced by a SAHP or the total removal of device, leading to a revolt.

I completely get that parents can't supervise their kids for six weeks during the summer and that a lot of activities are prohibitively expensive. Not all kids need to be helicoptered throughout the whole summer holiday. But let's be honest about this. The kid who is left to be "bored" isn't turning himself into the next Picasso or Mary Berry. He or she is playing on Roblox (if you're lucky).

There's a happy medium here. Back to back scheduling from here to kingdom come takes away most of a kid's resources and isn't ideal or affordable. But equally, leaving them to fester on the iPad for six weeks isn't turning them into a creative genius.

I'd rather my kid be over-scheduled than left to rot in their bedroom while I tell myself he or she is learning through "creative play".

Objectively speaking, your friend is more intelligent as she is curious, an IQ test won’t capture that though.

@Countryspaniel Just because the child said he chilled on his tablet all summer doesn't mean that's what happened. My sister told my child to tell me what she'd done in the park yesterday, about an hour after she did it, and my child looked blank, she'd been on a zip line, not an everyday occurence but she didn't think to tell. I've also heard my kids say "good" with no follow up when asked how their holiday/weekend was. I'd be like that if someone asks about weekend/holiday cos I know people are polite and don't really want to hear and maybe some kids just know they're being asked but know the adult doesn't really care about the answer.

Some weekends are needed by parents to do nothing. We have been slammed since the start of the year so when there's nothing on the kids can go out and play and we stay home. You sound very judgmental of parents when you really don't know what happens in the families lives day to day.

Of course there are exceptions as to why people can’t take their kids out (illness etc) but in my personal experience it is 100% can’t be bothered! I have friends who won’t take their kids out for the most ridiculous reasons (weather over 22 degrees, 30% chance of a shower etc) and then complain they are being bothered constantly in the house by the kids - they are bored! Unfortunately in my experience days out aren’t being replaced by lovely planned activities at home - they are being replaced by tv and boredom.

I do agree with you but I wouldn’t believe every child when they say they have done nothing/ gone on their iPads/ games consoles.

We’ve been on holiday, have another holiday booked and have had loads of nice days out but when my DC goes back to school they will probably say they have done ‘nothing’.

The highlight of my DC going abroad for the week was that they were allowed to go on their iPad on the plane (they don’t use it at home, only for long journeys).

We also went to one of the ‘free’ museums, it cost £40 on the train to get there, £40 to enter the 2 paid for exhibitions (without doing these it wouldn’t of been worth travelling and paying the train fee) then money in the cafe/ gift shop.

Usually I would take my DD all over in the holidays but this year I couldn't get much time off work and she's now a teenager who moans at every suggestion I give and just wants new clothes constantly, so I'm not wasting my money on booking things she won't enjoy haha. Couldn't book a holiday either as I'm waiting for an operation! She's entertained herself a lot by helping her gran look after her smaller cousins and hanging out with friends.

Children under 16 travel free on London underground and some London overground (with the free zip card if they're over 10). And people on UC or other benefits get half price travel. All the London museums have areas where you can eat a picnic and more people do that than use the cafes. The shops are easy to avoid - usually to one side, unlike commercial places where you go through it on the way out. And if the shop or cafe is the highlight for a kid, you're going to the wrong museums. I can't imagine many preschoolers who wouldn't prefer the interactive Garden at the science museum: it's the adults who like the cafe ime (but even I would choose the Garden instead)

Sorry to hear about your dad. Was there another parent in the picture? Could they have taken you out by themselves? Especially when you were a little older and easier to manage. Taking two toddlers out by oneself might be tricky, but I often see one parent out with multiple slightly older children.

Exactly. There are absolutely cases where there are no health issues, money issues etc and parents still don’t take their children out of the house during school holidays. And it’s due to shit, lazy parenting. Also some people seem to just not have an interest in anything? Like they’re barely alive in the world. There was a thread a while back about someone whose family members lived close to an AONB that people travel from all over the country to visit but they themselves had never taken their kids to, preferring to stay in and watch TV or go on the internet.

I’ve noticed that my friends’ parents who had more energy and inclination to DO things in life have aged considerably better. I don’t mean in terms of wrinkles and grey hair, I mean in terms of maintaining good energy levels into old age.

I grew up with a disabled and generally quite ill father, so as a child it was nigh on impossible for my parents to try and organise activities for my sister and I because there were simply greater problems than whether we'd be able to go on holidays or days out. The ideas that OP listed are not feasible when your dad can't spend more than an hour on his feet without needing to lie down for the rest of the day, this was something that my sister and I learnt and just eventually got used to, meaning that our holidays were just typically spent at home.

Haven’t RTFT, but I absolutely loathed the summer holidays growing up for this reason. We just didn’t do anything. It wasn’t about affordability (professional parents, high household income) or lack of time (one SAHP for much of my childhood), they just didn’t think it was important enough. They poured energy into career and pointlessly amassing wealth through an expansive property portfolio, but had absolutely no social or cultural drive. They were utterly joyless. Thank goodness I was into reading and devoured book after book just to pass the time.

As an adult now I simply can’t sit at home and do nothing - I feel like I am wasting my life. I make the most of every weekend and never take annual leave if it’s not to go somewhere. I think this is in direct reaction to my boring, culturally impoverished childhood.

This weekend I went to a wine festival on Friday night. On Saturday I did an exercise class, went on a bike ride, had lunch out then went to a boat party in the evening, then on Sunday went on another bike ride, had lunch out then went for a massage. Not every weekend is this busy but I literally never waste a weekend sitting around doing nothing - it would just remind me of the hell that was school holidays as a child.

working full time, physical disability and autistic child who is too anxious to want to go out.

I can't drive for medical reasons, I live in a small town right on the outskirts and I don't even have a shop within walking distance let alone a library or any sort of free museums or days out. The bus service is terrible and totally unreliable. The local park is also awful, play equipment is old and damaged and isn't worth visiting. The medical diagnosis only happened last year so before that I could take my kids all over in the summer holidays but now we are often stuck at home. People don't always think outside of their little bubble.

If they are at some sort of childcare then they are presumably not spending all day on devices etc doing nothing. So this is not what the OP was referring to. Don't be so sensitive.
If they are old enough to look after themselves then you should be encouraging them to do something interesting. Yes teenagers are a pita but 24/7 doing nothing just really won't work in the long run

May I ask @Ilovechocolatelimesandsherbertlemons , in your view until what age should you read to your child? I think I’m slipping up here.

(great username btw)

But why not?
Stimulation?
Variety?
Learning about life outside of the classroom?

it’s not always about money. My friend is on a very good salary but never takes her daughter on days out. They live in a big self build barn conversion and I think she feels her daughter is happy just playing with her toys at home.
my husband and I take our daughters out every weekend, we sometimes think it’s sad that my friends little girl has never been to local farm parks, country parks, play parks, had a picnic, etc. I think it just comes down to lifestyle choices

I had years of experience in education and saw this a lot. I think a lot of it is that parents don't realise how important it is for their children to experience a wide variety of different experiences. They don't have to be expensive; a trip to the park once a week builds motor skills, a walk in the fields picking blackberries building fitness and vocabulary, looking at the ducks building knowledge and understanding of the world and respect for life.
The same parents often don't understand how important reading to your child is in terms of vocabulary development and knowledge.
It's why disadvantaged children achieve less at school. Schools spend so much time trying to replace those experiences. Maybe these parents haven't experienced it themselves and don't know what to do. Maybe they're depressed or overworked. It's a big issue that you've touched on OP.

@Kirbert2 actually i was out today and heard a lady who looked at the end of her tether say exactly that she was fed up of their demands - said to the kids- and they were going home!

Going to the park can have so many benefits. As well as being active, children learn many skills. They can be social skills, build resilience, benefit from being in nature. If you want to expand their mind, you can find out the names of trees, birds and plants, watch ants, butterflies and bees, you can walk and chat and learn through conversation.
If you bring things like balls, kites, racquets you can develop dome skills there.

I don't know if that was some kind of weird comment but there are literally blackberry bushes close to us. I appreciate it isn't the same for everyone but I was just giving examples. Strange reaction.

dont know about you but in my childhood and in my country we didn’t have constant weekend activities.
and it was fine.
as a child I played outside all the time, read a ton of books, listened to music and my family told me a lot of cool stuff including things about classical music and art
we went to the theatre sometimes, sometimes to museum, sometimes to visit family, went somewhere for summer holidays but certainly most weekends were not filled with doing something

and I turned out more than ok
so not sure it’s really a problem

Mine go out to Karate and swimming, was at a castle the other day. However I generally don't like going out during the summer as it's a tourist area and can be an absolute nightmare with traffic and parking and people all over the place (I'm not a fan of crowds). So we stay at home a lot. Paddling pool in the garden, walks around the village, park to see if there's anyone to play with etc. Also sometimes my DS likes to have a "lazy day" where he refuses to get out of his pyjamas and plays Lego, watches CBBC or goes on his iPad.

I would absolutely LOVE to be out and about with DS. Zoo trips, parks, walks etc. but he’s autistic and doesn’t want to leave the house. His favourite day is being home with his toys and familiar surroundings.

Not all parents who stay home want to be at home!