Families that don't do anything with children

Im sure the poster talking about London knows it's different elsewhere but i also think SOME of the responses about impossible it is are hyperbole. My SEN ds is terrified of dogs too and it did restrict what we could do in lockdown especially but there are places that enforce leads (a deer park near us) and beaches similar in May-Sept. Of course every single situation is different and I don't think all posters need to include caveats every time...surely posters can assume they understand not everyone lives in London or in a rural safe place, or a beach or with NT kids.

Where I am there isn't a park in walking distance. Bus fares for an adult are £3.00 for a single or £5.20 for a day ticket for a child they are £1.50 for a single trip or £2.60 for a day ticket.

So for an adult and two children to go anywhere by bus is £10.40 then you have to feed them at some point, OK you can take a packed lunch but it still costs money. Then there is paying for the 'thing', there is one art gallery otherwise everything costs.

One thing by me that is really well attended is the local community centre, they have sand delivered to make a beach and an inflatable swimming pool and they feed the children who attend. And they do good food too.

I can totally understand a parent picking the free activity they can walk to.

Well, when the question literally is “why can’t people do this?” the answers will be examples of why people can’t.

I was born in the early 60s. Back then kids were left to their own devices a lot more and learned to entertain themselves. We did have the occasional day out but our days weren’t fully scheduled like kids’ days are today.

Clearly a lot of people on this thread do think that.

That's all very well if you live in London. I live not too far past of the Elizabeth line. To get a cheap day return is going to cost me a minimum of £15 plus the ticket for kids until get to the London section for free fares. Others will live further out and cost more

I work nights,3 on, 3 off. I do my best to get my son out of the house, even if it means I'll be shattered at work that night. Luckily,I have a very understanding boss,but summer holidays are hard and I hate how much time my DS spends on his tablet......
Would like to think I'm not a bad parent, but the guilt is overwhelming. Doing as much as I can,as the main breadwinner; (despite my partner's best efforts). 2025 can do one!

We can’t go to parks as one of my DC has SEN and is petrified of dogs to the point that she would run into the road to avoid one. Unfortunately the vast majority of dog owners by me ignore the rule to keep their dogs on leads. I’m a single parent and it just wouldn’t be safe for my other children if I had to leave them unsupervised to restrain DD. We do end up going to paid days out to use play areas (like theme parks or our local botanical gardens) but these are expensive.

There was a post here recently of one mum asking don't we think the summer holidays in the UK are too short. And so many commented they're long enough, one mom even said her kids are already bored after 2 weeks. It's absolutely understandable they're bored as they're home 24/7 probably whole month.
We have summer holidays for 9 weeks back home and children absolutely think they're too short. They are mostly outside, either with friends, going swimming, holidays with parents or grandparents, hiking is very popular in my country, plenty of free activities either organised or individual. I think it depend of type of parents. If parents are active children will be too. And that has nothing to do with money - you can most probably walk to a local park if that is the only option to be outside. I have a 3 year old and I'll be gladly give all my house chores to someone else and stay out with him whole day, every day.

Gotta love the ‘what about’ responses !!

as if anyone sensible thinks that 1 size fits all, at ALL cost !!

And what about the families who live miles away from London, or any big city with free transport, or all these free activities for children?

Haha this.

God I hate 'the park'.

I don't take the kids out all day every day, because I also have a life to be getting on with. They don't need to be dragged all over the place, when we're at home they'll be entertaining themselves by building Lego or playing games or playing football or tennis in the garden. They don't have to be skipping around a National Trust property to have a fullfilling day.

I assume you're in these people's homes 24/7 and know for absolute certain that this happens from day to day?

It's a parents job to make sure their kids are active sure, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the endless banging on about 'the park', it's on a par with 'a bag of pasta is 4p'.

That's incredibly sad for both of them but especially the child. I really hope your friend seeks help or that other family or friends will take the child for her.

Probably with their heads in phones/ipads. Parents and kids! A lot can’t seem to cope without them even when they go out for dinner.

Yeah of course 10 year olds aren't going to want to go back to the park all the time. You really have to force it a bit.

I remember during lockdown literally bribing my daughter to go on little walks with me to instil a sense of the importance of getting out. She's 14 now and she gets the importance of it.

It's your job as the parent to do it. Of course they're going to push back. It's up to you to make it happen.

Our local park has fallen into a sad state of disrepair since covid, despite promised to refurbish all playparks. Nobody is there because there's only one piece of equipment that is intact. Really sad as it's a very decent park and pre-covid it was always really busy.

Our library was refurbished but all the promised events and groups have never materialised and again, I'm not sure how much appeal repeated visits to a tiny kids section with a small selection of book and a computer holds.

I think people are vastly overestimating the appeal of repeated visits to local parks to 10 year olds tbh.

@PeepDeBeaul

Around the age of 10, the homely one started getting moany when we were out.

So you force them. A child can't be allowed to dictate to its parents that everyone should stay in the house.

Children have to learn that a life vegetating and not doing much is not a good life. Sorry: it's up to us as parents to enforce it.

It's not about individual people who can't take their kids out for whatever reason but I have noticed it this holiday for sure. There are 2 primary schools in our town, hundreds of kids yet the playgrounds are empty, the library is dead, even the swimming pool is never that busy! Where are all the kids?! These places don't cost money, you don't need to drive as our town is walkable. We live on the coast, surround by forests, also largely empty. There's no need to spend money but kids need to get out. We both work but with leave have managed to get our every day, and we haven't gone broke yet! I can't understand it at all.

I have a friend who has anxiety and barely leaves the house with her 3 year old. No soft play, no toddler groups, no trips to the park, etc she says she can’t manage it due to panic attacks.

Where I am the opposite, I need to get out of the house and occupy my mind otherwise my anxiety is a million times worse if I’m left with my own thoughts all day.

Because some kids don't want to go out everyday. Some folk are homely, would rather be at home than out. When my two were little we'd take them out, but they got opinions around the age of 10. I have one homely one who takes after me and one with itchy feet who takes after my partner. We have to find a balance. Around the age of 10, the homely one started getting moany when we were out.

Don't assume it's the parents that don't want to be out!

I like staying at home on my own, but my son and daughter need to run around lots and become very grumpy if they just stay at home. They tend to end up on their screens after a while, and I take them out because it's good for all of us.
As you said,OP, there are so many free things to do with children in the summer. I don't understand why either.

I read to my boys till they were 13 😂 and started when they were born.
Only because I was determined they would meet all the best books and knew they would never read Lord of the Rings for themselves.
They were surrounded by books from birth and both Dad and I set an example of reading ourselves.. both went on to get firsts at University. Reading and talking to your children are the most important things you can do. And that quiet bedtime story is a chance for them to offload if they're holding some worry in.
I always remember my children in buggies facing me so I talked to them about everything we saw , as did my mum in the fifties. It always makes me think that children facing outwards - yes, see a lot but they don't develop the language to describe it or develop understanding of what any of those things are.