Families that don't do anything with children

Would you mind sharing the kinds of places you go on that budget?

Just because our budget is particularly tight this summer and I find even places like the beach have hidden costs once I factor in fuel and parking, which seems to be astronomical in my county (Kent). We do a lot of parks and woods. I try to be imaginative with things like scavenger hunts, bug hunts, taking kites/balls etc but if you have other low cost ideas I’d love to hear them 🙂

This is lovely. But I wouldn’t be able to do anything with mine for £10 a week except walk round the village. £10 would do one trip out and back in the car, to maybe walk round a different village 😂

The meaning of “sitting around all day”, is open to interpretation. My response is largely dependent on the context. Childhood only occurs once. I believe children should have ample to play and explore the world. This can include activities such as playing in the garden, engaging in games, writing stories, or spending quality time with family. I have many fond memories of playing in the garden with siblings.I loved playing with my dolls when I was very young and enjoyed writing stories. My parenting style reflects these values.

I think it is a cause for concern and could even border on neglect if a child is simply remaining inactive, vegetating at home with little stimulation, Furthermore, if a child’s under-stimulation is due to a parent’s anxiety or depression, this presents a significant issue. Parents who never take their children outside even for simple activities such as walks, visits to the shops, or trips to the park, may be acting in a manner detrimental to the child’s development. Such outings are essential for fostering social skills, cognitive growth, and physical health.

From a health perspective, prolonged inactivity is harmful. While I acknowledge that financial constraints may pose challenges, it is generally feasible to engage in outings on a limited budget especially in a city in like London. Public transportation is often free for children, and many public amenities, such as parks, libraries, and museums, do not require an entrance fee. Preparing packed lunches can further minimise expenses. Although I can afford to eat out, I often opt not to do so. I recall as a child we would have picnics in central London parks and then visit museums after 4 pm, when admission was free. Additionally, establishments like Pizza Hut used to offer, eat as much as you want deals, making outings affordable and enjoyable.

We go out 6 times a week during the school holidays. I have a budget of £10 a week for this so definitely not megabucks. I like to give my children lots of adventures.

I think the summer holidays should be a break from getting up early and being on your feet and occupied all day. There seems to be this idea that children (and adults) should always be busy for some reason

Because they are lazy chavs who CBA

I have a friend like this, just because I’ve seen a lot of stereotypes here... They are better off financially than I am, she doesn’t work but partner does. Because we do have a very uncouth friendship, I do know their ‘take home’ is just over 4k a month.

No holidays as they can’t afford it, though with her income we’d be on a foreign holiday each year, I believe she just finds them too hard work. This is just as she has more than we bring in and same number of kids. They spend most of their time on screens, which she’ll always say is what they want to do anyway. So she thinks summer holidays is for more of that, and treats like takeaway.

Sometimes people just have different views on what’s best for their children, some feel lots of unstructured time is way to go. Even if it’s screen time. She thinks it’s better for their mental health, makes them happier etc. Her kids go to shops with her once a week, and they go to her mum every fortnight for a sleepover. That’s it.

Is that what I do? No. Do I secretly judge her? Honestly, yes. Do I think she judges me for my kids ‘lack’ of down time? Yes.
(I don’t feel my kids lack it - but this isn’t what this thread is about!)

I feel someone is going to say screens are bad for mental health, addictive etc and personally I agree. Mine have little screen time, no games consoles. But not what thread is about, it’s about the reasoning of why people make different choices. They genuinely believe it’s best for their kids.

Absolutely this - just reading this triggered a lovely memory of summers recreating the Horse of the Year Show with two, only partially co-operative, dogs. Eldest, now late teens, fondest memories are really simple things - day outs enjoyed (and there were few enough to be memorable) but don't really feature in their childhood nostalgia.

I’d say I’m the complete opposite and wonder why people cart their children around to so many places? When do children have time to play or read books or make things if they are constantly dragged out to another activity. The best bit of the summer holidays is the seemingly endless days to do as you please.

It’s really good idea I think. Especially for teens who go out with their mates - as well as a parent trying to find ways to entertain the kids. They could just ride about all day for free (well I suppose the parents need a ticket). But it does make free activities actually free (unless you cave in and get treats in).

I think all families are different. We are also a 5-days-a-week-in-clubs house, with some days multiple clubs and we normally have other sports during the weekend, plus the usual social events (children birthday parties, seeing friends/family, running errands, travelling etc). This might seems like a nightmare to some, but it's our normality as a family. We are also very busy working parents and have something going on most nights individually or together (gym, hobbies, night outs, work things, school events, you name it).
We thrive in being busy and experience things and so is our child. I would never impose anything he doesn't want to do or that would make him too tired.

But people need to understand everyone is different, has different energy levels, interests, means and life style, and that's ok!

Maybe they have great entertainment like crafts and play equipment set up at home

I agree. No way would I ever have put my kids in 5 after school activities. They did 3 max. DD was usually swimming and gymnastics or football, DS was swimming and football. From year 4 they also had one tutor session a week. More than enough to keep them busy. They did a couple of after school clubs too if they wanted to but I didn’t want to be dragging them out each night, they needed to chill

I have a memory from when I was about 8. I was visiting a friend and went to holiday club with her. I didn't like it at all and felt sorry for her that she couldn't be at home during the holidays. It just felt very artificial and boring.

My kids have done loads over the summer holidays, park, beach, softplay, cinema, sleep overs at grandparents, non stop painting/messy play at home.. still if anyone asks then what they've been doing they say "nothing just on my tablet/TV" lol

My daughter does loads and she's 8. Even after she's done after school clubs she asks to do something else like a cycle ride.
People can be judgemental about kids who do a lot as well - they don't understand how much energy some kids have.
We know two (separate) dads who just do nothing with their kids and with both of them it's just because they can't be arsed as they will freely tell you.

Has anyone come on and said 'yeah I probably could do better '? If not, ill put my hand up. Im not the worst, im not the best. Somedays I just want to be at home and not 'on'

Lucky you with the free bus fares. Where I live children over 5 are charged at three quarters of the adult fare.

Agree. I don't think the OP meant that people should go out with their children everyday, but the longer the discussion goes, the more extreme it gets.

Sadly I think the internet has killed off this sort of childhood. They’re never allowed to get so bored they have to resort to making things up, reading, writing stories etc Obviously some families are like this but they tend to be strict on internet use.

Where I live buses are free all summer for children U16. There are lots of things you can do for free.

I remember when mine were tiny the village used to put on a free bus once a week to a local attraction (free such as beach, large open area). The only people who actually got the bus took their kids out anyway. Lots just didn’t want to go out for the day.

I also disagree with having to buy things in a shop or cafe. I never offered & just used to take stuff with me. We had an occasional ice cream but that was pretty much it. I also don’t have an issue saying no if they ask. As teens they rarely ask for things.

I think the issue nowadays is having a giant TV on all day or playing on an iPad. I don’t think that’s quite the same as kids doing LEGO or baking or getting a paddling pool out.

The thing is , by the time you exclude the kids that say they did nothing , despite doing loads of, the kids of working parents that are in clubs or childcare(this is one form of “did nothing “ because it’s the norm) or entertain themselves during working hours , the kids who do go places even if it’s once a week , or at the weekend , or every other(third) day or whatever other combination, the kids that have loads of entertainment, enrichment and activities at hope and are happy to be at home,the kids who don’t go out much for very understandable, significant reasons (poverty, SEN, disabilities, etc.) and any combination of these , how many kids are there actually left that not only stay in every single day (no visits to family or even going to the shops) glued to a screen and nothing else for the whole 6 weeks?

We’re talking a very , very small minority, that can’t be reached or helped by being all sneery and holier than thou on MN.

Thanks for this @Ilovechocolatelimesandsherbertlemons

I talk a lot to my child, and we go over the day together every night for about 20 minutes. But yes, that’s a welcome nudge to not let the reading slip (he’s only 8)… he’s naturally very sporty, and so it’s a battle against both the football and the screen.

Yes, I can see how you must get bored of yourself quite regularly

🥱 bored of entertaining a lazy no-hoper.