Families that don't do anything with children

I used London as an example because I live there. I am not suggesting that one needs to move to London. I have lived in different cities - every place had their own special magic.

Which is great if you live somewhere near London. But if you don’t, the train there will be out of some people’s reach financially.

I’m from Yorkshire and it was £300 return give or take the last time we were there. My son only went for the first time a few years ago because it is so expensive to travel there.

The meaning of “sitting around all day”, is open to interpretation. My response is largely dependent on the context. Childhood only occurs once. I believe children should have ample to play and explore the world. This can include activities such as playing in the garden, engaging in games, writing stories, or spending quality time with family. I have many fond memories of playing in the garden with siblings.I loved playing with my dolls when I was very young and enjoyed writing stories.

That's lovely, but very hard to achieve for working parents, particularly of only children.

What I find frustrating about the "children need to be bored" argument is that it presupposes that there's a) a stay at home parent there to facilitate all this "creative play" b) a house with a garden, c) a sibling to play a part in the entertainment and d) sufficient money to pay for stuff that needs to be bought.

The reality of a long summer holiday for a working parent is usually you have a choice between

a) taking more leave than you can afford (and pissing off your employer)
b) using holiday clubs/childcare
c) mixing it up a bit and doing some clubs and winging it for the rest

Playing in the garden is a lovely aspiration but most older primary school children will get quite bored of this quite quickly. By definition, if there's any significant downtime, you end up having to work quite hard to keep your kids from going onto devices as a default. It can be done, but it involves a lot of juggling and constantly having to step away from work to make sure its being adhered to.

Given a situation where you have little to no annual leave, it's surely better for the child to be in a club which is designed to enable the kind of creative play you crave than for a child to be at home, being nagged and chivvied by their parent to stay off devices and do something "creative" while the parent is trying to work?

My DC used to enjoy helping with shopping, it meant they had some input into what they ate, they had the odd treat, and it was something they didn't do when they were at school.
As regards bikes, toddlers and small children are fine in parks or round estates, but there are few places for older children to ride safely. And playgrounds are really for quite young children, it's those approaching the teens or teenagers who are hardest to entertain during the holidays.
I don't know how people with no outside space of their own manage in the summer. Both DD and I live in flats but we have storage space and decent sized balconies. Children can't play ball games or (older children) ride bikes on our estate, but at least there are plenty of playgrounds in this area. Imaginative children are happy to play at home, but not all children are like that, particularly if they are used to being very active at school.
Summer clubs round here are either short days (in local primary schools) or longer more expensive days run privately. Not many parents can afford the latter for the whole holiday, and the former are not much use for parents who work outside the home or full days WFH. I'm a GM who helps out in the summer with taking GC to summer camps whilst my daughter works
I find it hard to comprehend the many posters on here who say that children should be taken out during the week - aren't the DP both working in most cases?

I agree OP, we are on a low income, have autistic 3 year old who gets frustrated. I get out 98% of time with him. The 12 year old stays in or he goes out with friends 80% of the time..
Here's a list of free/easy things to do with children

Read
Library visit, borrow books, free groups ours does Lego club/baby groups
Children's centre's
Church groups
Baking/cooling, DS loves paw patrol cup cake kits are under £2.50
Messy play
Play parks
Walk to beach, nature reserves
Days out museum, Canals
Bike ride
Foot ball
Frisbee
Kite flying
Salt dough
Colouring, arts and crafts painting
Gardening
Playing in the garden
Watch a film
Make our own film
Lego
Puzzles
Musical instruments
Cleaning/chores make it fun
Bus/train
Xbox gaming
Origami
Writing stories
Dog walking
Computing
Homework/studying
Bird watching
Nature walks
Charity shops

They’re missing out, very odd no car or bike.

They’re missing out, very odd no car or bike.

My child doesn't have a bike.
Where we live is far to hilly to bike around or far too much traffic.
She could cycle around in circles in our carpark I suppose.
To get anywhere to cycle safely we would have to travel.
We don't have a car.
My child seems to have survived not having a bike. I don't think it even occurs to her to want a bike.

My child doesn't have a bike.
Where we live is far to hilly to bike around or far too much traffic.
She could cycle around in circles in our carpark I suppose.
To get anywhere to cycle safely we would have to travel.
We don't have a car.
My child seems to have survived not having a bike. I don't think it even occurs to her to want a bike.

Take them up stairs. No kid shouldn’t not have a bike!

Where on earth did you keep them?

I’m sorry but this is full of excuses. I lived in a flat for 8 years and my kids still had bikes. Stop making excuses for lazy.

Which is great if you live somewhere near London. But if you don’t, the train there will be out of some people’s reach financially.

I’m from Yorkshire and it was £300 return give or take the last time we were there. My son only went for the first time a few years ago because it is so expensive to travel there.

Some areas can't access the city centre without going under the underpass which is scary with all its turn offs and hidden corners.

Just googled free things to do in my city. There's not a lot.

The meaning of “sitting around all day”, is open to interpretation. My response is largely dependent on the context. Childhood only occurs once. I believe children should have ample to play and explore the world. This can include activities such as playing in the garden, engaging in games, writing stories, or spending quality time with family. I have many fond memories of playing in the garden with siblings.I loved playing with my dolls when I was very young and enjoyed writing stories. My parenting style reflects these values.

I think it is a cause for concern and could even border on neglect if a child is simply remaining inactive, vegetating at home with little stimulation, Furthermore, if a child’s under-stimulation is due to a parent’s anxiety or depression, this presents a significant issue. Parents who never take their children outside even for simple activities such as walks, visits to the shops, or trips to the park, may be acting in a manner detrimental to the child’s development. Such outings are essential for fostering social skills, cognitive growth, and physical health.

From a health perspective, prolonged inactivity is harmful. While I acknowledge that financial constraints may pose challenges, it is generally feasible to engage in outings on a limited budget especially in a city in like London. Public transportation is often free for children, and many public amenities, such as parks, libraries, and museums, do not require an entrance fee. Preparing packed lunches can further minimise expenses. Although I can afford to eat out, I often opt not to do so. I recall as a child we would have picnics in central London parks and then visit museums after 4 pm, when admission was free. Additionally, establishments like Pizza Hut used to offer, eat as much as you want deals, making outings affordable and enjoyable.

I have a friend like this, just because I’ve seen a lot of stereotypes here... They are better off financially than I am, she doesn’t work but partner does. Because we do have a very uncouth friendship, I do know their ‘take home’ is just over 4k a month.

No holidays as they can’t afford it, though with her income we’d be on a foreign holiday each year, I believe she just finds them too hard work. This is just as she has more than we bring in and same number of kids. They spend most of their time on screens, which she’ll always say is what they want to do anyway. So she thinks summer holidays is for more of that, and treats like takeaway.

Sometimes people just have different views on what’s best for their children, some feel lots of unstructured time is way to go. Even if it’s screen time. She thinks it’s better for their mental health, makes them happier etc. Her kids go to shops with her once a week, and they go to her mum every fortnight for a sleepover. That’s it.

Is that what I do? No. Do I secretly judge her? Honestly, yes. Do I think she judges me for my kids ‘lack’ of down time? Yes.
(I don’t feel my kids lack it - but this isn’t what this thread is about!)

I feel someone is going to say screens are bad for mental health, addictive etc and personally I agree. Mine have little screen time, no games consoles. But not what thread is about, it’s about the reasoning of why people make different choices. They genuinely believe it’s best for their kids.

Would you mind sharing the kinds of places you go on that budget?

Just because our budget is particularly tight this summer and I find even places like the beach have hidden costs once I factor in fuel and parking, which seems to be astronomical in my county (Kent). We do a lot of parks and woods. I try to be imaginative with things like scavenger hunts, bug hunts, taking kites/balls etc but if you have other low cost ideas I’d love to hear them 🙂

I doubt OP and posters like her consider going to do the weekly shop a worthy pursuit.