Families that don't do anything with children

It can be these things yes......it can also be selfishness or laziness let's be honest.

Most people do it for the sake of the kids though, because they need to have different life experiences. They’re also harder work at home!

God the number of competitive middle class mums in this thread!!! Spending time at home and in the garden, and playing out, is actually a great childhood. Allowing kids to get bored is what makes them creative and imaginative.

Most of the time these parents are leaving their kids on their own to go to work so they can least feed them and keep a roof over their heads. So actually you can say it's easier and you're right it because they cannot do the other things that some parents have time, money, access and knowledge to know how to do. I was one of those kids and saying to my parent leaving me at home would have done nothing because they were trying to survive as were we. We did study which helped us and did any house work we could. Maybe instead of judgement try empathy.

Why do they need a summer camp? I think it’s great that the kids are playing all day? They’re probably being a lot more creative and self sufficient as a result if it.

I have a child with disabilities. There is so little out there we can access. He can't run, or crawl, or even sit unaided. He functions at a much, much younger age. There is nothing in the local parks he can access. The Changing Places at the local swimming pool is a) filthy, b) used as a storeroom and c) most of it is broken and unusable. He's registered blind so lots of 'child friendly' places are scary for him. He has dystonia and makes lots of random movements so people like to stare. He's tube fed so people like to stare when I am starting or stopping his feeds. He sometimes needs his airway suctioned so people like to stare. There are very few places I can change him when he needs personal care. Going out is a whole lot more challenging when you have a child in a heavy wheelchair and lots of equipment to lug around but most of all I am sick of people staring at him.

What is your line of work? Surely the obvious is depression and anxiety stops parents getting their children out. Location can also be a factor, if someone doesn't drive, lives rurally and has a low income going out would be difficult. Children also often say they've done nothing when they have done a lot. My middle child always told me she did nothing at school. One of the children could be disabled and taking the family out could be extremely difficult.

I did not drive in my country, my daughters grew on the field, helping with the vineyard and I have never heard of organised playdates like here. People are different

Also never heard the idea that people grow up well rounded because they had hobbies or clubs. People get well rounded by studying and reading tons of various literature, yes, alone, at home

This, and just because people are different.

How in depth is OPs knowledge of the people/families she is highlighting?

Such a sweeping statement and generalisation.

I can offer one perspective. We try to go out every day with disabled DC but sometimes it's just too dangerous or hard. They get fussy if they don't go out but paradoxically seem to not be able to handle it when we do go out - so I often can't win.

Today I dragged them out and one DC threw his shoe in a pond and screamed and attacked his dad and the other had a screaming self injuring meltdown because I couldn't get one of his (very bizarre) OCD rituals correct. I wish I'd just not tried, I think they would have been happier at home but the mum guilt set in. If my DC were less sort of 'obviously' disabled and mainstream ability but still ND I'd feel such enormous pressure to take them out for enriching or 'normal' childhood experiences. As it stands I still get shit from family members if they think we don't take them out enough (even though they go out at least every couple of days).

One of DDs friends mum was like this. She just wasn’t interested in putting herself out to do something she wasn’t interested in. At a push she would go to softplay because she could sit in the cafe.
We live 20 minutes from the sea. Her children had never been to the beach in this county. They had been abroad and near her mums because her aunt would take them when she visited. But she wouldn’t take them. She would however go with her partner without the children. She also went to Harry Potter Studios, theme parks etc - all without the children multiple times.

We don't have much spare, we prioritise the activities she wants to do. But if your child is doing 1 a week and now 2, then you are doing that too. I specifically mentioned families in our area- well off families with the latest gaming consoles, VR headsets, Labubus and expensive trainers- who don't send their kids anywhere, even when the kids clearly have interest/talent.

I met a little boy Friday who said he'd just "chilled out" and played his tablet all summer and it made me so sad

When ds1 was just starting Year 1, he had to draw a picture and write a sentence about the best thing he'd done that summer. As he pulled it out of his bookbag at the end of the day, I wondered what he'd have told his new teacher about and written as his favourite. The week in Italy? One of many, many beach visits in the UK? Legoland? Camping? One of several long cycles? The whole extended-family BBQ? One of the sports camps he'd done? A museum? A pottery painting experience?

'The best thing I did this summer was eat crisps in bed with daddy' 🤦🏻‍♀️ fml.

😂😂😂 you’ve reminded me of dd2 writing all about her summer holiday memory - a trip to the park. We did go to the park the day before going back to school. But what she forgot to mention was the 3 week
trip to Canada and road trip from Vancouver to Calgary to visit her uncle, auntie and cousin 🙄
dc aren’t the best at remembering what they did. But I’m sure there are pockets of people who don’t go places. Many threads at mnetters who don’t drive and the reality is that makes it harder to just pop to the library or park. Although they’ll argue it doesn’t impact their life and they don’t need a car.

It must be depression for most who do this - as in my experience it’s much easier getting the kids out of the house. Nothing worse than being inside all day! When inside structure is more difficult and behaviour becomes more difficult. Everything is easier and more enjoyable outside.

I think due to technology eg iPad, YouTube etc more and more parents can sedate their children with iPads/tech all day. They can then stare at their phone and the day just flies by. Sad.

It must be depression for most who do this - as in my experience it’s much easier getting the kids out of the house. Nothing worse than being inside all day! When inside structure is more difficult and behaviour becomes more difficult. Everything is easier and more enjoyable outside.

I think due to technology eg iPad, YouTube etc more and more parents can sedate their children with iPads/tech all day. They can then stare at their phone and the day just flies by. Sad.

See - I find what you have described far too much!
But I agree with your general point.

@comedycentral like the username

Are you sure the boy who said this isn't misremembering? When my DM asked the kids what they'd been up to they all said pretty much the same as the boy, despite the fact we'd been to the cinema, shopping in town, gone to the park a few times and soft play that week! They had all been to a tennis camp for 3 days the previous week which also didn't factor into what they mentioned.

Couple of neighbours like that near me, kids play outside from mid morning til about 11pm at night. Every day same routine. I cant understand it. The kids never do a summer camp even a free one that is offered through the school.

Last summer my son was in a club for 2 weeks, we went to Turkey, we went to Devon and we did some days out.
You can imagine my shock when someone asked him about his summer and he said he chilled out.

I personally think subjecting a child to that many activities is less responsible than allowing them to enjoy relaxed time at home with family. In my childhood we did hardly any clubs but we did spend a lot of time together and also outdoors. Unstructured time - and boredom - is actually really important for child development

If you are regularly working with families, then you will know why many children are stuck at home, day after day during the break?

I work in a school ( SEN) When new term begins, we like to ask the children to share something nice/ positive of their summer break. Lots of children go away on holiday. visit relatives, see friends, go out for the day with their parents etc. But some poor souls don’t leave their bedroom, under the
“ chilling” activity. Lack of money, not being able to drive, MH issues, alcohol and substance misuse, DV, too many children and so it goes on. They are the ones who LOVE school, don’t want to leave at the end, hate school holidays and cherish each and every school trip, residential, college visit and positive experience we can offer them.

Ok, but how do you know these people exist??? Most people use their gardens and do prefer just family time. Some just let them outside with other street kids, we live in a very safe cul de sac and the grandkids play together with everyone on the street.

In my view it's pretty much that simple.

Yes you have to get there. I get the tube but from where I live you can also get the bus, takes a bit longer but kids are free either way so it's one adult fare.

It can be helpful to book for some museums at peak time but the websites and/or TripAdvisor will tell you if that's necessary.

There are some paid bits eg specific exhibitions and the amazing Wonderland at the Science Museum, but most of it is free.

Yes, there are cafes and gift shops but every museum has an area where you can eat your own food. I can afford the museum cafes but it adds up so I often bring our own sandwiches anyway. Gift shops, say no.

I do understand that it could be intimidating and not everyone has the above info, but it's all available with a quick Google or a look on TripAdvisor or many other places online.

There are also multiple free playgrounds in London (eg Corams Fields), and fre cultural activities at places like the Southbank Centre. National Gallery, Tate etc run free kids activities over half term and holidays.

London is basically a paradise of free stuff for kids and I know some families have particular issues to deal with but I find it hard not to judge if they don't take advantage of any of it, ever.