Families that don't do anything with children

Those saying don’t judge people, why not? We should bring some judgement back, in quite a few areas. Kindness has gone too far and too much of it doesn’t do anybody any favours. The children in these families are being let down.

I grew up poor, properly poor, with a
mother who worked her arse off for minimum wage and an alcoholic father. So no we didn’t go out and have adventures. My weekly treat was going with mum to the supermarket.

I like to be out the house BUT it's expensive! I know you can bring picnics and drinks but I find myself spending money anyway. I'm on mat leave so trying go not spend too much. Also I find it exhausting doing lots of day trips with little ones (just turned 4 and baby). We have done some this summer but I'm keeping it low key.

Playdates at people's houses or local park hangs are easier sometimes. I think it's a shame there is less of this and more focus on big days out. It's just a lot of money and pressure. Also hot and busy! I'd rather do legoland on a random inset day in March tbh.

I think parents who put their kids in loads of clubs and activities sometimes also don't want to parent that much tbh! Yes it's probably better than being on screens all day but kids need downtime at home just playing.

you would judge them but would you give a helping hand, without gossiping about them? Would you open your home to them, would you drive their kids to places? - NO, so why then you judge.

See how it pans out long term.

We were a stay at home family.. I hate tearing around filling time, I love PJ days where the kids can build Lego and get bored.

She’s in reception!!!! Reception!!!!

I’m seriously jealous of amazed there are people in this world who find it easier staying at home all day with their kids. I have 2 boys aged 2.5 and 5. They need outdoor exercise everyday or they are unmanageable. Some days I just wish I could stay in my pyjamas. But I know I would seriously regret it by 1pm as the afternoon would be torture!

Well said.
I’m going through brutal chemo. My kids are young adults now. But, if I was going though this ten years ago, OP would really wind me up!

Hope your recovery is going well 🌷🌻

Mine do about that and would be genuinely gutted if I asked them to quit any! They love their clubs, have chosen what they want to do, can quit at any time if they want to, but they don’t want to.

I know a family like this. Their DDs are 14 and 11 They didn't do any clubs/activities (not even swimming lessons). They never accepted invitations to the cinema etc, although would meet up in the park. She says the kids just like getting into their PJs after school and relaxing. It's not a money issue. There are no mental health or SEN issues. I think it's maybe just a cultural thing (they are W European but not from UK).

My kids had plenty of what you consider ‘normal’ days out - farms, museums, national trust, outdoor nature trails etc the lot. It was a boring ol’ ball ache for me, but I did it because I felt the peer pressure from judgey pant parents like you.

To this day I would swear on a Bible that my kids were far happier and stimulated at home - arts and crafts, imaginative play, paddling pools, dressing up, books, films, cooking, time with grandparents etc. That’s what they talk about as adults as their ‘idyllic childhood’ - not the museums which they tell me were boring and they hated feeling car sick!

Yep - check the websites for which ones a free, and what facilities they have. For example...the Natural History Museum (NHM) is definitely free - you have to walk through a roped area by security and there are machines there for card donations of a "suggested" amount, but they are genuinely ok with people not paying. Their special temporary exhibitions do often charge, though. They have an indoor picnic area, and multiple cafes with the menus on-line so you can check them out in advance. In the Summer we've also taken a packed lunch and eaten it in the nearest bit of Hyde Park, which is about half a mile.

It depends. My kids needed quite a lot of downtime, and their best holidays when they were small were always ones where they had the chance to get bored and learn how to make their own fun interspersed with occasional activities, playdates etc. Too much "fun" overstimulated them and made them really cranky and upset.

I have done that, but it was a very difficult thing and took ages to really do it long term

I just presumed OP was talking about the summer holidays... Term time is very busy for most children, so some people see holidays as down time. Even the ones who don't get taken out will have been socialising every day at school and probably been to the park on the way home.

you sound like hard work, Mrs

Yeah. It’s a lot. My niece had a similar routine and she now has anxiety as a teen. It’s not just because of that but I don’t think it’s helped tbh.

And as others have said- it is definitely true that 'days out' in the UK tend to be very expensive. We recently spent nearly £80 for the 4 of us to visit a really shit local attraction. And that was just the entry fee. I'm not rushing to do that again. For me it was an irritation. Many families- particularly with the COL simply could not even think of sinking such a huge amount on what was a really crap experience.

A day out doesn’t have to be an expensive attraction though, today we took a cheap picnic to a country park, free entry, free parking, picnic cost about £15 max.

If you say so.

I guess everyone's different. I know a family where they don't go for walks, to the park or bike ride or swim. But they go out to theme parks and eat out a fair bit. They don't go on holiday even though they could easily afford it. I think it's how the parents were brought up themselves.

Probably best to quit smoking then I guess.

Something I have noticed on here is just how varied people are in terms of how active they are

We are a "busy" family, I guess. Both of us work senior professional jobs, we both then also volunteer, socialise, we don't feel especially tired or rushed. Our kids - nature or nurture, it's hard to tell - are similar, they do breakfast and after school club most days, they do 3 activities or so, they might spend maybe 3-4 days chilling at home during the summer holidays, the rest of the time we are always doing something, even if it's just a walk to the library on our road. That just feels natural and normal to us.

But some posters on here seem to need a lot of downtime and "chilling" time - I guess some kids are the same way too?

Well reading all this I am glad I don't have young kids to entertain ! I would be knackered

As well, smokers and people with vitamin deficiencies have a lot less energy than normal speaking from experience

Yes true it’s pretty well evidenced. Ultimately what most kids want is to spend time with their families or their friends. That’s the vast majority of what my 90s childhood involved and I know others are similar and look back fondly