Families that don't do anything with children

The distorted thinking on this thread. There is the saying you should allow kids to be bored and explore nature around your home and make their own games and start using their creative imagination. Why do you need all to make it about going to places, forced socialising and being bitchy about it on what's apps

Would you possibly be a bit fitter and less tired if you got out more?
I put DD in the pushchair and we just go for a walk. Doesn't cost anything. She gets to see some horses and cows and run along the path. We might stop at the playground.
I'm mid forties, single parent with two kids and a full time job. I tend to go stir crazy when I'm cooped up in the house for too long.

My DS spent most of the summer holidays playing out with the neighbours kids.

I’m assuming an adult without any issues/illness who genuinely can’t be bothered to enrich their child’s life.

Very few posts would be “Neighbour has cancer and doesn’t take her children out during holidays”

We’d quite rightly object to her point.

I have a toddler so I find it impossible to say at home I have to get out. Maybe I am too the other way as everyday seems to have some sort of activity but this is often free events like bookbug or local events for kids which are easier to attend with younger children.
We also attend a class of some variation 3 days a week. parks, walks, shopping, soft play all fill up our day too.
For those that do stay at home how do you do it? What do you do all day?

I judge people who don’t make an effort

yes I’ve always took other peoples kids out with mine,

no I’m not well off

Yes I volunteer at a youth group so other peoples kids have opportunities

The point being that they also did that amount of extra curricular activities in reception, because they wanted to, and have continued them because they want to.
Yes it’s definitely not for everyone. My 6 year old absolutely couldn’t cope with that amount of extra curricular activity. My older kids thrive on it.
But judging people for allowing their kids to do the hobbies they’ve actively chosen to do is just as bad as judging people for not taking their kids out.

I find it harder to parent at home all day. We are lucky that there is a small woods and park nearby which is always a good go to. This summer is a bit trickier than usual as am having chemotherapy, but have managed small trips in between treatments and bought a load of craft kits and garden toys like badminton etc to keep everyone occupied.

What everyone else said. I personally LOVE days at home but with my kids it's a 2x a day outing to somewhere, anywhere, or they get on my nerves. Local playgrounds. The supermarket. Berry picking. Water fights in the garden. A playdate. We also do pricier things but tbh it's no more or less enjoyable for them.

A friend has what always seemed an unusual setup - they don't seem to socialise much outside their family, and every weekend is spend on their allotment. They bring sandwiches and a thermos of tea from home. Doesn't sound like fun to me but they seem to love it. So even discounting the many issues that can lead to what OP is describing - some people are not very social, but happy.

My sister says similar about me come the school holidays she's always slyly slating me off saying I never do owt with my kids during school holidays. What she forgets is that whilst she has all the time during these holidays to take her kids on lots of days out and camping holidays I dont-i actually have a job to go to in order to provide for my kids whereas she doesn't work. She always slags other parents off that don't do as much as she does whilst forgetting that in some cases some don't have as much free time as she does. I'd love to be out all the time but then when I've worked a long shift the last thing I want to do is come home to sod off to a park for hours on end afterwards. It's not always down to lazy parenting

I also live in a small city with some things to do that are free byt in the poorer corners of town you are ...very unfairly... not walking distance from any of them and rhe bus is a lot.

I hate all this rhetoric oh go and feed the ducks. Life is exhausting snd stressful when you are skint and kids will start to get bored of the utter shit level of most parks and playgrounds

We should have free holiday schemes in every neighbourhood. It would save literally millions in public health costs of child obesity and poor mental health.

What did she mean then?

I suspect youre being purposefully disingenuous by saying you can't imagine why.

Well being in your teens is a bit different to being in reception and doing 5 hours of clubs a week. But also the pressure on teens educationally these days is bananas and I do worry about the additional strain of extra stuff. It just seems to have become the norm in a way that it just wasn’t when I was growing up. I know people think badly of teens drinking cider in the park etc but I really do think all that hanging around can actually do you a lot of good!

go for a walk
This is doable for maybe 1-2 hours max with small children. If you live in very rural or urban areas, could be more dangerous and stressful than being at home.

feed the ducks with your old crusts
It's well known that bread is terrible for wild birds. Fresh veggies and corn are the best for ducks

pick daisies
How long would that entertain a child and adult? If you stretched it to a daisy chain, it would kill 30mins out of the entire day.

go round the charity shops - buy a jigsaw for a few pounds
Fair enough but a few pounds still add up

play on the swings
Just like picking daisies, how long would that genuinely entertain a child and adult? A session of swinging is probably 10mins?

play with a ball
Same as above.

take the kids waterbottles
This is not a suggestion for something to do. It's just obvious advice for a day out

take a packet or biscuits if they gonna need a power up
This is also not a suggestion for something to do.

no you aren’t having an ice cream - money don’t grow on trees conversation
Also not a suggestion for something to do

pond dipping - take an old school plastic bowl
This assumes you live near bodies of water that are sanitary enough to dip a bowl inside and inspect the contents.

Out of 10 suggestions, 3 weren't actually activities. 4 suggestions would only realistically keep a child entertained for 10-20mins. That's 10mins out of a day of 12+ hours. What do you do for the rest?

A huge number of families in the UK are living in poverty. You might not notice even if you know them

Think of how expensive every single thing is . In my town the bus alone...which you would need to use ...is 2 pound each way. I have been taking kids out not just mine but others and so much pressure from the ice cream van...they get hungry. Its not as simple as oh just say no. Its obviously exhausting being poor and counting every penny and the local leisure centre costs money..everything costs.

A 10 or 11 or 12 year old wont be occupied long if they go to a free park trip daily will they ? Especially if parents are tired and stressed and struggling to make it fun

We have an ok income and I find the financial pressure of the holiday and all the exrea meals outings etc b stressful

Do people realise there are children who won't even have enough food without their school meals..?

That’s not what the op meant.

It’s like judgemental central on Mumsnet today. I guess is just don’t see it as inconceivable that other people may be perfectly happy being in their own environment? Is it hard to get that people you may know may do things outside of their home environment and not share it all over social media or WhatsApp groups?

I have 3 ND children and we do activities occasionally, but they get very overwhelmed and so we spend a lot of time at home. They have garden space and a big 3m above ground pool that I keep up and treat from spring to end of summer. They have games, toys, puzzles, craft stuff, we bake, they read. They’re perfectly happy being in their own space. I don’t get why some people think they have to be out every single minute of every single day filling it with activities, like they’re afraid to have downtime or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I’d never start a thread asking why because as long as each family unit is happy and the children are safe, then it’s no one’s business but theirs.

yep.

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE DUCKS WITH YOUR OLD CRUSTS.

https://canalrivertrust.org.uk/things-to-do/canal-and-river-wildlife/keeping-our-ducks-healthy/why-is-bread-bad-for-ducks

I don't drive but I live in a place where there's loads to do for free in the immediate area and a city centre is a 20 minute bus ride. We've done something pretty much everyday. But, if I lived on a crap estate somewhere and didn't drive, I'm not sure what we'd be doing?

Well my eldest is well into her teens and still happy and still doing the activities she chooses, but ill wait for the moment that allowing them to do the clubs they want to do comes back to bite me on the arse.

Well they can come over and tell my daughter which 4 of her 5 hobbies she has to quit. I'm sure she'll enjoy watching me go off to volunteer at Rainbows every week without her. Maybe we can still go to the performances for her musical theatre class so she can watch the other kids on stage and remember how bad it is for them. Or she can wave goodbye to the rest of her class at 3:15 as they all head to yoga and she goes home. Hopefully she never ends up near or in water if she doesn't learn to swim. Or maybe children are different and some thrive on activity and some need more relaxation and a good parent follows their child's lead within reason.

She'd happily do 10 clubs a week but that's silly and no child needs 10 hrs of clubs a week.

In the same way, no child should be spending 7 days a week going nowhere but school and home.

Yeah it's a real shame for the children

Oh and we lived rurally. Getting into town cost money (petrol, parking) we didn’t have. OP you sound like you live in a privileged bubble.