Families that don't do anything with children

Looks like overscheduling to me! And not affordable especially if 2 or more kids!

We don't spend the summer sitting around doing nothing but we do have a limited budget and some of your suggestions are not as easy as you might think. Free museums and events are great but getting there and back is the problem. My area used to have a subsidised transport ticket that got us out and about all over the place but that was stopped two months ago and we have had to really cut back on trips out.

My son has a bike but I don't and buying one is not an option so going for a bike ride is not easy although we do try with me jogging along beside but that limits how far we can go.

We often spend our afternoons going around the parks in the village trying to find some friends to play with but parks are often pretty empty presumably as everyone is out doing activities. Not much fun for my son being in the park alone so that doesn't last long.

What a nasty post. The pp poster was talking about depression, anxiety etc etc. That's not laziness or shit parenting. Many people suffering these can't just get outdoors, move around, enjoy experiences ffs. Lucky for you you've never experienced such issues and are such a great parent 🙄

I say it from the point of view my parents did very little with me. I look back now and think depression may have been involved. Its made me and my dsis obsessed with enriching our children’s lives. So I judge.

However, there are times where families and mumsnetters have each others back!

I haven’t seen a single person on this thread saying kids need round the clock activities.

We’ve stayed home a fair amount this summer. More than usual. No holiday either. My kids are happier than ever.

But we have land. Animals. Trampoline, real go kart. Trees to climb, climbing frame. Dc have helped clear our wooded area too after the storm.
We have been out and about three or four times a week to beaches, river, city, parks, cinema, swimming etc.
I don’t think all kids have to be out all the time, they don’t all need after school clubs, because all children aren’t the same. I have three, one of mine, now an adult, went to tons of clubs, still does. Middle doesn’t go to any and youngest goes to one. I let them lead.

Every family is different.

Not strictly related to your question but i'm not that old and in my childhood "doing things with kids" really wasn't a thing.

My mum literally didn't do anything with us as a kid. I can't remember her taking us anywhere or doing anything with us. I grew up on a farm so I was either out with my dad shovelling shit or packed off to the golf course for the day as soon as possible..

Beyond that i was at home watching TV, reading a book or hanging round my granny's house with her. No activities, classes or clubs at all. If you're grown up like that then the kids doing nothing all summer is normal.

My daughter hasn't been at home much all summer. I tell her that we've all winter to sit in the house. She's probably done too much so she'll have a "chill out" week before starting school to let her decompress.

I think people have different things they enjoy.
its my husband’s worst nightmare to stay at home every day but I would be perfectly content.

Also some people are very insular. We live in a city that at most you are never more than 3 miles from the sea. My friend teaches secondary school kids that have never been to the beach.

Yes it’s actually a really good thing. I feel sad in that I think a lot of parents have become either really time pressured because of having to work or just competitive and so they fill their kids’ lives with clubs and then judge parents who don’t when actually, that sort of free range laissez-faire parenting is very good for children’s development.

For various reasons I was brought up
like this. I had a mother who now looking back had severe anxiety and gid knows what else. We lived remote so that made it worse. My dad was the opposite but this was the 80s and he was mainly at work esp in the summer holidays. He would take us for day trips. I didn’t know I was missing out on anything I didn’t know any diff but also diff times then because there wasn’t the levels of taking kids everywhere like there is now. I remember my husband saying to my young kids “ you should be very grateful as your mam takes you everywhere” I may have overcompensated unintentionally.

I’m well aware of the child psychology thank you, and am confident that my children have, and always have had plenty of time to chill at home, relax with family and to use their imaginations/make their own fun.

I don't know how much you're spending on Lego, but this may be a cheaper alternative. You pay a monthly subscription and can send back the kits when you're done for another to complete.

https://www.brickborrow.com/

Indeed. I really tried to give DDs a childhood like mine in the 1980s where they could play out and have lots of unstructured time. And a balance with structured activity and spending time together.

😂. When they're with other kids they're little tornadoes too so we can't let them meet - we'd have to just swap for the day!

Play dates. (Lots and lots)
Paddling pool.
Lots of craft activities/projects and experiments.
Playing in the garden (trampoline, climbing frame , swing, making potions, collecting bugs/snails and a million other things).
Playing with her toys /dolls and lots of pretend play.
Make dens.
Watch tv shows/movies.
Bake/cook/make stuff.
”Helped” me sort shit out, the garden , the monica cupboards etc.

To be fair, I had(and still have) a kid that was happy to be at home , perfectly happy to entertain herself for ages and also perfectly happy to hang out/do stuff with me. I remember once she spent a whole hour cutting the grass with scissors(under supervision ),thinking it was the best thing ever! I suppose it’s hard to imagine if you have the complete opposite.

We used to live abroad. Only holiday activity for kids was the park. Which we did go to sometimes.

But our kids got bored and ( with some help) learned to make their own fun at home.

They are now adults with partners, jobs, own business, a child. Finding their own fun at home did not seem to harm them at all. In fact it seemed to foster creativity.

Ah then yes I do kind of judge you but who cares? People judge each other all the time about all kinds of things, I doubt you’ll change their routine because of some internet stranger. Do look up the child psychology though.

The irony of people saying it’s lazy and poor parenting when they’re advocating for entertaining children with round the clock activities so the little darlings don’t get ‘bored’. It’s actually good for children’s imagination, creativity, innovation skills, mental health and resilience to be bored sometimes and learn how to entertain themselves.

Agree! So many reasons. And judging them isn't going to help

My grand-daughter also, who told her teacher that her mother does not have a box for her craft. My daughter has a whole french dresser for only her craft. But ahhh, the teacher asked me only do I keep my craft in a box or do I display it around the living room. My daughter heard this and stood there, blushing.

I take mine out....just not as often as she takes her kids out due to my work commitments. I'm a single parent so I don't have a partner there to take the kids out whilst I work. They go to the park with their older siblings whilst I work and I take them out on my days off unless the kids choose to stay home and chill with movies and games. Just today we've all gone out together for a couple of hours playing laser tag and having a meal out

I don't have the car, my husband uses it for work. I've never stayed in with the kids, it's no excuse we will get the bus and visit parks, museums, soft plays etc and big days out regularly when dads at home. I would feel so guilty if I stayed at home all day, I'm knackered sometimes but I do it for them. I know a few that stay home all day and their kids play up and whine. We are not well off by any means either but we want our kids to have the best childhood we can give them. I'm always looking for free events, local pond dipping sessions, park play! There's all sorts out there these days and children shouldn't miss out.

My two have had a busy summer, a week long residential camp doing out door activities, a weeks holiday with family, we’ve done days out with the dog, with extended family etc. I’ve had to work over the holidays so days out are interspersed with days at home while I work. I know when asked they’ll say they chilled at home, but that’s not the whole of it but it is the bit they’ll talk about.

It’s multi faceted and complex, but broadly I agree with you. However, there are definitely some situations where it’s harder for people (lack of money, lack of resources, physical/mental illnesses or disabilities, location etc). And that’s where we should be supporting people and funding good quality, free, accessible options.

I will also say it massively depends on where you live. If you live rurally and have to drive to get anywhere that’s not just your garden, it is harder, especially if you don’t have the money for much fuel for a car, or can’t afford to run a car. Of course, there’s still lots you can do at home/outside but it’s harder.

It’s also hard when a trip might be free but others might have a different budget, it’s hard to say no if your friend’s kids are getting, say an ice cream on a day out and it’s just not in your budget.

We are lucky to live in London and have a vast range of experiences on our doorstep, and the funds to access them (even ‘free’ stuff comes with some cost eg train/tube fares). My toddler in the past week has:

Been to Hampton Court twice (we have a membership for the year) where he’s played in the fountains, sand and slide, had a lovely long walk around the grounds, seen shire horses, had a lovely picnic etc.

Had a local trip to feed the ducks, then read books we took with us to a cafe to sit and read with a cookie, we took a bubble wand with us and he spent ages playing with bubbles in the park.

Been to the Tower of London (membership is included in Hampton Court!) and on an uber boat.

Been to a soft play type thing.

As well as had some quieter days at home, playing in the garden (which we are so fortunate to have), watching TV yes, crafts, water play etc.

God. Can they come and have a word with my 2 tornadoes please? 😂