Families that don't do anything with children

and to be fair, that's what kids do firs thing they go to the hotel or to my house in Macedonia, where is the pass code for the wifi lol. Good that my brother modernised the business

I agree there’s plenty free stuff to do, but to be fair I do it as much for me as for them!

My DC are both quite hyper and it’s easier to have them running around outside than breaking stuff at home!

But I’ve dragged my kids to wonderful interesting places only for them to rave about a stick they found or a puddle they played in when talking about their holidays.

i have one DC with autism though and as he gets older, he’s become much more content to stay at home, gaming or chilling in his room. It’s also becoming far more difficult to get him out of the house.

it can be a real grind- lots of moaning, delaying, arguing…I’m exhausted by the time we get anywhere…only for him to be just as difficult to get to come back home….

there have been many times where I’ve just wished I hadn’t bothered.

so I can see both sides.

My immediate neighbours are like this. One side has a 2.5 year old who they NEVER take out. Granny, Mum and Dad live together, usually at least two adults home. Kid doesn't even go to the supermarket when one or two of them go isn't allowed in their garden, never goes to any of the 4 play areas, green open areas within 10 minutes walk. Doesn't mix with any other kids at all. Its extremely sad, they care for her and she's loved but don't seem to bother with anything more than feeding and clothing. Kid is so bored sh bangs window when she sees anyone passing in the street. Otherside, boy now aged about 7, rarely seen in years, never in garden or off to park etc.

You need some experiences to tap into creativity.
They don’t have to be extravagant experiences. Even simple things like climbing trees, throwing stones into water to see the ripples sparks the imagination.
Lots of people are defensive but taking your kids out for fresh air and a runaround is a necessity. Kids who are playing out or in the garden are fine.
It’s the kids who are stuck indoors every weekend and every holiday that the op is referring to and there are lots.

I swear, people will always find something to judge.

I've come to realise there is a pervading attitude on MN that one must always be out experiencing 'things' and holidays and events and activities. It's like the recreational version of hustling. There has been a glorification in society of always being busy and I get it - I do it too - but it's led to a sneering of sorts towards those who prefer a simpler life.

There is merit in both and it's a balancing act. Constantly doing things, even the enjoyable ones, becomes exhausting. There are also seasons in our lives where we need to go more slowly.

Let others be.

Not everyone can or should be out and about every day and suggesting that’s the only way to “expand” a child’s experiences can feel pressuring to those of us who simply can’t live like that.

Some families have health issues, disabilities, burnout, or sensory needs that make constant outings unrealistic or even harmful. Crowded museums, busy parks, or community events aren’t suitable or enjoyable for everyone, and forcing ourselves or our children into those situations just to “tick the box” isn’t the answer.

There’s also nothing wrong with spending more time at home. Home can be a place for learning, creativity, play, and rest — and for some children, that’s where they thrive. You don’t need to be constantly on the go to provide rich experiences.

It’s worth remembering that from the outside, you can’t always see the challenges someone is managing, and it’s not for anyone else to decide how much is “enough.”

God, in theory I'd love to be out with the kids every day. Being trapped inside is not fun for me.
Honestly, it's just difficult.
I have a baby, a 5 year old and a teen. Getting all three organised to get out of the house is a marathon in itself.
When my husband is off work and I have an extra pair of hands, I make the most of it. But when it's just me at home, most days are spent inside.

In the summer holidays we actually hide and the children love it.
We home educate so my children learn all year around. We still go for a walk and they play in the garden but we haven't done much.
When everybody goes back to school we will go back to doing lots of fun stuff.
But for now gardening,reading,arts and crafts,jigsaws and baking are our things.

I’ve been “sat at home all day” with 6 yr old DD because she’s got a tennis racquet and a sponge ball and she wanted to hit the ball to me while I threw it to her over and over. She bloody loved it. I cooked her “Chinese new year food” (noodles with chicken). We played in the bath together. We watched a programme about dinosaurs. We played with the cat. She played with unicorns. I’m shattered. She’s shattered. It was a decent day and I feel like she needs days like these. Simple connection at home.

Some people do busy at home and operate on different frequencies. Takes all sorts. I have a friend with two asthmatics and a serious allergy sufferer. Outside is not always fun for her family. 🦋

For me, it’s long covid, but previously I did lots with the children. Illness might be to do with some of it (3m have long covid in England 2024), so that doesn’t just impact on the child or adult with long Covid, it impacts on their families quality of life too. That’s just for one illness.

Yes I agreed with your post (and tbh i find it truly disappointing that we can no longer feed bread to ducks - they don’t get excited and flappy for peas and who can blame them really?).

My husband and I argue because when I’m off with the kids I work hard to find free stuff to do with them and on his time he just chucks money at the issue - trampoline parks, bowling, cinema etc. It is extortionate!

Thinking about it, my kids where little, they spent a ton of time with ( then) local friends. We had the bigger garden, so trampoline, paddling pool, climbing frame, hide and seek, was always at ours. Then it was den building and picnics in the local park, camping in the garden, cycling locally, spending pocket money at the local shop etc. When they got older, parents used to take it in turns to drop them at the cinema or swimming baths. Then we used to take it in turns to have kids to tea, or a trip over to macdonalds, bigger parks/ adventure playgrounds.

They 17.5 and nearly 21 now. They often talk about their happy and enriching childhood ( even garden picnics!)

DP and I did take them
out aswell, but after a certain age, it was great to see them carving out their day between them.

Obviously when tiny, it can be more challenging, for many reasons.

As a kid, we entertained ourselves
(I’m mid 50’s) so no play dates etc. We just played with whoever was around on the day. My parents worked mighty hard to give us an annual family UK holiday
( no family or friends support at all) We all coped and got out and about, as well as baking, crafting and shopping with mum and dad.

Often those children are the ones with most friends and great imaginations, those who have parents with SM accounts of look what I did with my kids are the ones that can’t cope with real life.

This is true 😂
I can cope with getting lynched for feeding the ducks bread comment !!

it’s the lynching for pointing out that getting kids off screen for at least a portion of the day is worth parents effort - even if it is tough

I live in a tourist hotspot. Our town and beaches are pretty much out of bounds all summer as the whole world seems to want to walk, sit and eat in same spots. We stay in our garden mostly. I’d love to be able to take my kids out but too many tourists makes it awful. We go elsewhere, sometimes, but for locals who live in a tourist spot.. we survive and endure summer; we don’t get to enjoy ETA; we do lots of water play, lots of crafts, lots of den building and and baking. We walk in the woods away from tourists and we do early morning sea swims. My kids get out; we just hate being around the masses

Yes my friends DC are similar. Would happily never leave the house if they didn’t have to! That doesn’t for a second mean they’re on screens all’s day at all but TONS of crafts, baking, cooking, imaginary play. They are constantly doing things

Get lynched round here for feeding crusts to the ducks 😬 frozen peas only 🙃

I haven't got the time to read all ten pages of comments, perhaps I should have, but I find it hard to believe that you can't imagine 'why' parents don't get their kids out more. I love the outdoors and adventure, and find it impossible to sit still. I'm always painting something, or gardening, or writing if I'm not working, and I want so much for my kids to have the same lust for life that I do, but for myriad reasons it doesn't work out that way. I a single parent and I have no money, ever trip involves some expenditure... today i took them for a walk, the car park was 4 pounds, the petrol five, they had ice creams (ok not essential) that was nine. But more than that, they are teens, they don't want to go anywhere - every. single. trip. is a nightmare of bickering and arguing. Sometimes i end up in tears.. its such hard work. My eldest doesn't enjoy anything. I took them to Thorpe Park, but he wouldn't go on a single ride. To the beach, he wouldn't go near the sea. Walking is non-stop moaning from all three. It's such hard work, I persevere and press on, but sometimes I wish I could just give up and leave them at home so I could have a rest from the endless negativity. if I were less inclined to being out and doing stuff then I just wouldnt bother. It isnt hard for me to see at all why people let their kids stay in all summer... and I find it impossible that people can't emphasis with children who march to a different beat, or understand that to some people the cost of petrol, or train fare or simple treats is more than they can afford.

I was just thinking about the times in the long holidays where my mum would chuck us out in the garden or send is upstairs to play and we’d make up all kinds of games, write little books, make a band with the keyboard and tambourine, build dens, look at snails, frogs, worms, etc.

I have nostalgic memories of our first video game that we spent weeks trying to complete and secretly never turned off because we didn’t have a save cartridge.

I don’t think there was this pressure to do, do, do for mums. It was more like keep the kids occupied with a plate of fish fingers and some cartoons so you can get on with things.

Most days out are overpriced, overstimulating-crowded and overstimulating. I once lived near a family attraction and saw so many screaming, tired out children on their way home.

😂😂😂😂

When nannying, I took two kids to Thorpe park, they had a blast, went on everything, spent 9h there.

“how was your day?! Did you have a fantastic time” asked their mum

9yo said “IHope bought us ice cream!”

Thanks kids!

We live in a popular tourist destination - as a result, my kids would rather stay in!!

We actively chose the bus over driving a lot of the time when mine were toddlers because the bus was a big adventure!

Left to their own devices, my kids happily designed obstacle courses, played active games, climbed the tree, built dens, grew and harvested tomatoes, went on imaginary adventures etc in the garden. Plenty of movement and daylight there, and much cheaper and more fun than going on an expensive, stressful day out.

I’m advocating for the bare minimum -

yes, the garden,

anything other than screens / bedroom all day !!