Families that don't do anything with children

I'm lucky, I drive and I have some means

Driving isn’t luck …. you work and you pay for lessons/tests save for a car.

The biggest neglect is drink and drugs, yet this alone is not enough for kids to be removed from parents.

And so the cycle continues.

I agree the kid may just be saying that. We do lots with my DC- activities, days out etc. I hate staying at home so make sure we are on the move. But when he is asked at school what did he do during holidays/ weekends, he says watched iPad/ TV etc. doesn’t even make sense 🤣

I would have hated summer camp as a kid. Organised fun was never enjoyable for me and still isn't. We did go out as a family, but also spent a lot of time playing on the local commons or in the garden/street with friends and my siblings. Watched tv. Visited my cousins and played on their estate green. It was fun to have unstructed play time with friends and siblings/cousins.

Agree. This is massive over scheduling

I don’t know why they don’t go out. I live in Hampshire so unlike London, we don’t go out to museums. But the parks are free and there are a lot of countryside. I drive so we can go further. We have done lots of the New Forest for example. Even within walking distance of our house, we have ancient woodlands, lakes, rivers and lots of play areas.

This is us. The reason is that we're poor, live on the outskirts of the city and I don't have a car so it takes at least 2 buses and 90 minutes each way to get anywhere. DCs just don't want to sit on the bus and are happier spending time in their own home doing crafts and playing in the garden. Going for walks and picnics is a great addition to a busy schedule but it soon gets boring when that's the only thing you can ever do.

I know a woman who takes her son to their local town on days off from school/holidays, she sits in the local coffee shop having a coffee whilst telling her son he can’t go on the trampolines as she can’t afford it, then proceeds to drag the boy around all the shops before heading home, sometimes a quick trip to the park.

I think kids are actually over entertained these days. We probably had 2 weeks summer holiday as kids if we were lucky but otherwise it was just kicking about the house and back lane. As a result I’m a keen reader and have always been really creative. I do wonder about all these kids that have their parents dragging them to a new enriching experience every bloody day (mine included).

Sometimes there is a lot to do at home. I grew up in a time when we played out, we would be outside from the afternoon until the sun came down.

I had no idea what my parents were doing - but I definitely know dinner would be cooked, maybe the house would be cleaned and maybe they napped. But they had 4-8 hours of children being outside in the neighbourhood - popping in for an ice lolly or something, and then back out again.

Whereas today, we don’t let our kids out. I have a teen, and whilst we do go out quite abit and I’ve found some free summer clubs for her, and she also goes to friends house etc, we have days whereby we just stay in. However she doesn’t play out - the neighbourhood doesn’t have anyone out - just the troublesome kids that have dropped out of school and do wheelies on the road.

So I think that we should be allowed to stay in if we have decent houses. But it’s a shame that we don’t let kids explore the way they used to.

Well… I have to die eventually so not forever?

I'd say top reasons are:

• Money
• Mental health
• Behavioural issues

I live 5 minutes away from 3 new build housing estates, that are full of young families - very occasionally when I’m out walking l will see parents using the play areas. I never see anyone out walking a pram. There’s lots of lovely walks around the estates and one backs on to a nature reserve with a lovely lake. I had an operation last year and had to give up work so I try to go out walking every day but I never see a soul usually. I guess most parents both work these days. Even in the school holidays there’s no one.

My mum was the same and so was my DH’s mum. They always found the energy to sit in the pub all day when us kids were bored waiting for them to finish their drinks though. They are the same now with their grandkids, no interest in going anywhere.

Next doors kids are mid and late teens. Neither of them go out or have friends round. Mum and dad go in and out daily for work or to walk the dog. I never actually really see them all go out as a family. The eldest term time was in college and mum or dad give him lifts to work on a weekend. When we moved in and realised there were teens living there I assumed there would be loud music during the holidays, friends in the garden and house parties. Honestly I wouldn't know if something happened to either of these teenagers whilst their parents were working. Odd is the only way I can describe them.

Around the eldest's age I'd pack a load of snacks in a rucksack, find my OS map and scale the local hills with the family dog during the school holidays. My mum would get home from work and from looking at the dog knew I'd been out that day entertaining myself. Granted we didn't have smart phones and social media was in its infancy but we never hid indoors.

It’s extremely common for people to sit and smoke weed all day and not bother with their kids. I see it all the time, clearly you live under a rock. So many parents really do not give a shit.

I used to have lots of days out when the kids were younger and I would fill the days during the holidays with a mixture of free days out I.e parks. museums, tennis etc and other days we would have more exciting days to theme parks/zoos etc. We would have some chill days occasionally

My kids are older now and we were reminiscing last week and to my suprise all their best memories were from when we stayed in and made our own fun, lounged in our pjs, acted silly, played games, made cakes, painted, role playing shop, hairdressed etc, watching movies, playing in the paddling pool, you get the picture!

Looking back i think all the planned days out were to help me and not make the childcare feel as boring and mundane. But at the time I needed this.

Try not to judge, just because some families are staying in, it doesn’t mean the children aren’t having a good time and making core memories with their families.

Everyone just should just do what feels right for them.

I miss the lazy days with my children now and wish I could do it all over and snuggle more on the couch.

I know I’m being London centric but I never had a car, but always took advantage of all the free museums , public transport, parks and made sure I took the kids out every weekend and whenever I wasn’t working in the summer holidays. Take a packed lunch. Say no to pester power if they ask for extras, It doesn’t have to cost lots. But yes it is knackering. Until kids hit teenage they are like sponges needing parental attention and mopping up experiences and learning opportunities. Such a shame so many kids don’t get the opportunity.

Of course there are families like this, but this is not typical and smoking around kids inside is not very common anymore in my experience.

Sitting inside, never interacting with your children with the house upside down is a fairly chaotic home.

There are a large group of parents who are doing much more than that but spend more time at home than those of us who basically have had a different upbringing and have more money, have a car, don’t have to deal with a disability and so on.

I don’t wanna.

I agree OP, it’s weird. I have a neighbour with two kids under 2 and I I only met her for the first time 1 year after I moved in as she doesn’t leave the house much, she even called herself a hermit, we live in a street where everyone has a tiny maisonette, I go insane if I’m inside more than a couple of hours.

Whilst I’m sorry you’re going through this she clearly did not mean you fgs!!

Question for the gotta be out every day(most of the day) and have activities and something to do all the time people…

How do you/your kids cope when you’re out of commission? Broken leg/foot, really poorly for several days, god forbid, hospitalised, D&V etc.? Do they adapt? Does it all descend into chaos? Do you welcome the break? Do you feel super guilty and push yourself (sometimes to your detriment) to keep the usual routine?

When i was a kid I used to wander all over the town with my mates. I would be back and forth to my friend round the corner from the age of 5 with no parental supervision!

My parents had no time or interest in entertaining me all summer, was left to myself. It has always been this way in working class families i would think, but the shift from kids being allowed out alone has meant they stay indoors on tablets.

I appreciate everyone’s circumstances are different, but as a kid I asked my mum if we could go to the park every single day and I can count on my hands how many times we went. It wasn’t a lack of being able to take us but she couldn’t be bothered. She’s the same now with my nieces and nephews, she will ask if they want to do something but then say she’s too tired on the day and sit and watch tv. She always manages to find the energy when it’s something she wants to do though. She’s made comments on how we were such easy kids because we would just sit in our bedrooms and play without ever wanting to go anywhere, we didn’t, we sat bored because there was no point asking. I used to hate going back to school and people asking what I had done over the holidays, we used to plan stories together so that me and my siblings all said the same thing because we were worried people would laugh at us for doing nothing.