Families that don't do anything with children

Indeed!

My only rule when younger was “make sure you are back for your tea”

OP never came back to clarify anything. It's also very easy to judge from the outside or suggest ''free'' things that aren't actually free (since when are bikes free?).

Maybe it's different with multiple children who can play together but with my one, I find it so much easier to take him out over staying at home.

It’s difficult for some I guess 🤔 I used to feel under pressure to take my 3 children out and be doing some organised activity every day 😩 .
However they seemed to be perfectly happy at home some days , other days we would just walk to the park ( and to be fair we would choose a treat or a kids magazine from the shop on the way home so that does cost £ )
Also just doing the weekly shop they’d get to choose things they liked and contribute ideas for dinner .
We went to the library sometimes , hung out there for a while and borrowed books .
We would walk our dog , chat and point things out on the walk .
Do drawing , crafts or cooking at home , maybe some “ help “ with gardening or they’d set up a den in the garden , create songs , sing them , put on a performance for me 🤣

I think it’s important to put it out there that kids need to be active and outdoors from time to time.
Everyone who is able, should be active.
Judging is not for shaming but for saying “you need to prioritise activity and being outdoors for your child regularly”
There are so many parents who never prioritise their kids just because they don’t. I’m sure those are the families op is referring to.

I'll be realistic. Normally we do all sorts through the summer. Days out etc. But my son is 12 now and hitting a very solitary teenage stage. Before he even broke up he asked if we could spend more time at home through the holidays. He says he doesn't want days out. He wants to hang around with his mates, go out on his bike (me and hubby are disabled so not a joint hobby) and has chosen to revamp his room. He's currently enjoying a clean rout before HE paints. That's what he chose for the holidays and I'm quite happy to let him make his own decisions. He's done the odd gardening project too with me. But when I have asked dif he wants a day out he doesn't. He wants quality time at home.

I’m out and about all the time now but when my twins were born I had bad post natal anxiety and couldn’t leave the house for about 18 months without being convinced my kids would die. So there’s that.

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How does judging in this scenario help? What does it change?

Perhaps doing stuff might encourage kids to want more and have broader horizons but in certain circumstances will inevitably set them up for a lifetime of dissatisfaction and disappointment when they can't all escape their environment due to limited access for advancement?

Of course it isn't embarrassing when you are actively making a choice and can afford a massive bag of food. It's a bit different if you have no choice, can only afford a very basic lunch box and then your children end up disappointed because you have to say no to extras like ice creams and watch every other child have one.

Not really. I read books and watch movies and today me and my daughter watched the tortoise eat a raspberry whilst we just chatted nonsense. I didn’t judge anyone the whole time and I am pretty sure I didn’t switch my brain off. You’d be surprised how easily you sleep and how peaceful your life is if you stop worrying what other people are up to 😆

I’m so sick of when people are told not to judge as if everyone doesn’t judge! EVERYONE judges get over it. When you have a brain that’s what you do you think!

I literally wouldn’t even let this cross my mind let alone think to write a post about it. It’s none of my business, in the same way over scheduling and constantly having to be out of the house doesn’t strike me as any of my business. There will be as many reasons for why families are the way they are as there are families. He got you loads of engagement though.

YABU. I find this post a little judgemental in the light of the ongoing cost of living crisis.
Many families have had to sacrifice their annual holiday this year or compromise with a long weekend away instead.
That said, our local council recognises this and have made efforts to lay on some cost free children's activities which have been well advertised locally. I've not known the council do this on this scale before so I believe this is a sign of the times.

I always have packed lunch boxes with me for the kids and myself as really struggling to find a cafe with healthy food for us. I can afford and would love to eat out every time we’re out Which is most days but instead I carry a massive bag with food. Nothing embarrassing about having food with you. The cafes should be embarrassed about the food choices they have for children. We live in an area with plenty of free activities for children but I know people who never go out including some members of my family. I feel so sad for the children

When my four children were small we usually went to a family holiday home at the seaside for most of the summer. Yes, we did stay at home (of a sort) but we also went to the beach most days and they played in the garden or with games inside. Sometimes we went shopping for food in the town or went out for the day, but most of the time they were happy playing.
In the other holidays we did sometimes go out, but normally stayed at our own home and they played inside, played games, or out in the garden. Maybe they did sometimes get a bit bored, if so we went out to the playground, or went shopping for clothes, food and things we needed or sometimes out for lunch - though this is obviously more expensive. Family days out were usually at the weekend when DH was around and were not that frequent.
My DD and DIL spend a fortune sending the GC to summer clubs some weeks, or taking them out some days, they both have good jobs but it is very expensive. We didn't have the option of summer clubs nor the cash to take them out that much.

First of all it’s quite judgey - could be all sorts of reasons. Living in a more rural area with less to do, perhaps not having a car so being more limited in travel, also mental health issues, chronic illnesses, pain, not living in a safe area (play parks used by druggies/alcoholics) etc. I didn’t have lots of outings as a child and think being at home was good for me. I learned to manage my own boredom and find my own things to do. I think there is an expectation nowadays to be constantly out and about doing which doesn’t seem healthy to me. I’m a bit surprised by some other judgemental posts.

It’s about balance. Some days out and about exploring and getting fresh air - as you say, need not be expensive. But it’s important children do have days at home too engaging in independent play, playing in the garden, arts and crafts, board games etc.

I have 2 kids with hubby and take the kids out as often as I can. Even if it’s just the park just to get some fresh air as often as I can and that’s because my mom never ever took me anywhere as a child and also it saves the house getting messy 🙈

Looking back I do feel as if my mom did have some sort of depression and we were always cooped up in the house so I feel like I have gone the opposite way with mine.

I used to work with families like this. I once worked in an area that is relatively close to a seaside resort that was easily and cheaply accessible by public transport. Lots of the children had never been to the beach until taken on a school trip. In this area the council built a park on the estate. It was great, lots of swings and stuff for kids of all ages to play on. It was hardly used. I couldn’t understand why some of them wouldn’t walk a short way to get themselves and their child out of the house for a few hours (parents didn’t work) each day. My conclusion was it was laziness.

These things can be generational too. If their parents felt like there is nothing to do…they might have passed it down.

Also, the things you mentioned are fun but if they don’t have “proper shoes, appropriate clothes, no additional toys to bring to park, not enough extra energy as not eating properly, no money for ice cream van, not being used to museum and so do it in 5sec then what?no bikes, no picnic food…etc.”
It is hard to see all you are missing out and maintain some self love.

Easier to stay in and not see it. Maybe?

When mine was young, and for most of his childhood, after rent and bills and travel to work and school and childcare was paid, there was often just 14 a week left for food. clothes treats outings. We were lucky in that lived rural had a large garden and the local freecycle was full of wealthier families discarded things like tents, pools etc so I got what i could and we played a lot in the garden. a simple bus trip to the nearest "free"museum ( it had a small section that was free, and extra more interesting exhibits that it charged for ) would cost almost the 14 we had for everything else, so trips out didn't happen that often, I tried and did the best I could but family fun is NOT a mumsnet chicken, I could not and cannot make money stretch further than I did/do. The roads are not paved and cars drive way too fats so not safe to walk too far and there is no public land allowed to be walked on, the farmers do not like anyone on their property. I was often judged by teachers and other parents, vocally in some cases, but what on eartth was I to do? I prioritised roof over head, food in belly best I could. Oh and the public library? is in a van and arrives once
per month on a tues lol

Or that all older children would be excited over visiting a library. In my experience the fun free activities are all for toddlers.

Wow.

You are incredibly narrow minded.

Crikey there are so many possible reasons. Two that I think are more prevalent nowadays are:

1. Cost of living/high rent meaning parents are worked off their feet and just want to relax and enjoy the company of family.
2. People feeling the only holidays worth having are ones where you leave the country....this exacerbates No1 and kind of acts like an excuse for the other 50 weeks "we took you to..... you should be grateful '.

Obviously there's other reasons but I think they have been around a lot longer than the above.