If you are one of 3 adult siblings, would you be upset by this?

I would be really upset by this. Especially pre planned.

We usually meet up in pairs & that’s fine because we all have different shared interests, but if both my siblings were visiting our dad & didn’t at least ask if I was free then I’d be hurt.

Another one of 3 here.

I wouldn't be bothered by this.
When we see each other (outside of weddings and funerals) it tends to be 2 siblings - any combination. Gets far too complicated trying to find a time all of us can get together.

But if I'd been your Mum or one of your siblings, I'd have been at your strop.
They invited you, and you refused to have a cuppa with them.

I’m one of three. I’d be upset too!

Yes I would be hurt by this too.

YABU unless there’s a pattern of exclusion. Sounds to me like Sibling 3 decided to visit parents. Perhaps parents bumped into sib 2 and mentioned, maybe some of it was impromptu? I’d just let it go but mention it if it happened again.

Yes. I’d be upset. The politics of adult siblings are complicated.

I’m one of 4 adult siblings scattered around the UK and Europe.
The other 3 do not have 9-5 jobs (redundant, retired, long shifts offshore/at home), or dependent children. I found out via social media that they’d been to a festival together recently. The one organising didn't invite me because “I thought you’d be busy” (I wasn’t). The other 2 assumed i’d been invited. DM knew i hadn’t been invited but didn’t mention it because she didn’t want to upset me. Not the first time the sibling that organised this has deliberately excluded me. That sib doesn’t like me for reasons out of my control.

This

No they don’t , plenty of us on this thread are saying we are fine with our siblings meeting up without us .

We have a very similar familial geography and this sort of thing happens regularly and no one gets upset. We contact each other when necessary. I accept that we are not the closest family even if at times I wish we were.

A lot of these situations arise out of carelessness rather than malice so it’s not worth getting very upset over. I’m glad you have resolved it with your sister. That’s the best result.

I'm one of three and we often do different things in different combinations-I think it would be unreasonable to have to invite the whole family when you just decide to do an impromptu dog walk or cup of tea.

Glad you've spoken to your sibling though.

Why don't you invite everyone round to yours to get together?

I am one of three. I was once left out a party my two older siblings organised with my two cousins, spoke about in front of me, but never invited me. I was upset and felt really left out. I sulked but got my revenge by telling both sets of parents, who went along and broke it up. We were teenagers, I was 14.

As an adult if my siblings get together without me I’m fine with it because we are not joined at the hip and if I want the three of us to get together, I invite them all together. If I fancy seeing my sister, I see my sister.

Your siblings organised a dog walk, you don’t have a dog, it’s that simple.

Yes I would and have been. Just made a thread about similar last week. Be kind to yourself and prioritise yourself x

Your reaction is completely OTT, it’s not like they excluded you from Christmas or a big family holiday. Do you always call sibling 3 when you spend time w sibling 2?

I’m one of three. Two of us wouldn’t bother, one of us would be really upset!

be nice to yourself, you’re having a tough time

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. My siblings and I all see each other and our parents in various combinations and frequencies. We’re all adults and each have our own adult lives, it’s just not the same as being a nuclear family with multiple non-adult children.

It wasn’t a special occasion/holiday, which would change my answer.

Completely a non thing. I'm one of 3 between two brothers. I am much closer to db2. Db1 lives in London whereas we live in fife/borders in Scotland , I saw Db1 family in may when I was down for a gig, not seen them since their wedding in 2018. Db2 only in home town now, (see him every 3 months or so) he's seen db twice in that time when db has been up in Scotland at his holiday home and visited parents on the way to/from, times I've not afforded trips (day before our school returned, a trip to Edinburgh zoo 🤣)

All that to bloody say that me and db2 are thick as thieves, even with the distance. I'd fucking kill you if you hurt my db2, who I don't have an instant emotional feeling for.

I wouldn't be upset but that kind of thing is really normal in my family. It's very rare I'm with both my siblings at the same time but there have been lots of times I've been with one of them and one of my parents.

@FirstdatesFred I live 6 hours away from my 2 siblings, and found out one of them had come to my town to visit my parents but hadn't come to see me and my family, including our newborn. My parents live about 9 minutes away. I was upset too, though now I've reconciled it in my mind and have just decided to live my life without any thought about them as we obviously aren't much to them.

You are being touchy and irrational as hell.

I would be okay with this.

My siblings and I have often met up in pairs and not as a trio. For example, I may go on a dog walk with 1 sibling but not the other as they don't have a dog.

I then may go to a kids activity with the other sibling because our kids are similar ages, whereas my dog walking siblings children are older and would be horrified 😆

Then my siblings may meet up together to go to a football match and I couldn't think of anything worse 🤣

You're all acting batshit upset about what her brother lives half hour away not Australia where he hasnt been home for 10 years and didn't bother to tell her. They took the dogs for a walk. Op if your parents or one of your siblings drops in for a cuppa do you ring around the rest of the family to come round so they dont feel left out.

This wouldn’t bother me, 2 can see 3 without 1 and so on. If 1 wants to see 3 they can arrange it.

As a newly divorced single parent I can see that this will have left you feeling extra alone.

But things do just fall into place rather than being a formal invitation, and it’s a shame you didn’t go over when your Mum asked you.

What do you mean people have no idea everyone gets left out of things at times its normal why you making out its a big traumatic experience. 3 year olds left out of games handle it better then that