If you are one of 3 adult siblings, would you be upset by this?

I'd have been disappointed, but not upset. It sounds like something that had a spontaneous element, anyway.

And yes, I don't think siblings should be obliged to only meet if all can be present. That's just daft. They're likely to have different interests, different things in common, different availability etc etc.

Also it's bizarre to talk of a sibling 30 minutes away, as if they're at the other end of the country! My daughters are 30 and 45 minutes away, and I see each of them (not always, or even often, together) every week.

I think it's down to you to be more proactive, and stop treating sibling 3 as if they're some kind of exotic creature that you can only see once in a blue moon.

I'd think about all the times id been with my mum and sister leaving the other sister out.

Yes I’d be annoyed and I’d ask straight up why I wasn’t included

Yeah, I would be upset. Sorry OP.

I would have been upset too.

But I don't understand this bit:
I got upset on the phone with my mum she said ‘come over’ but I said I won’t as I wasn’t invited.

Did you actually find out WHILE they were still at your mum's and refuse to go and join them? If so, I think that was childish.

Edited to say I have seen your updates. I'm glad that you spoke to your sister and sorted out a time to see her.

Do your siblings have children? Could it have been a ‘no-kids’ outing? If you’re the only one with children, maybe they knew yours were on school holiday and that you would need to take them along.
Even so, that’s not good. They could have asked anyway. Maybe you could have arranged some childcare. If it wasn’t necessarily an ‘adults only’ trip, they could have ‘put up with’ (!) your children!

This is pretttmuch my family. We see each other in different combinations allthe time. I don't see a problem

Experienced this exact thing a couple of months ago, DH is one of three siblings and they arranged to all go and surprise my MIL with their partners and children and took FIL along too (they're separated), so all the cousins had a lovely but rare day with both grandparents there... except for us and our children. What makes it worse is the grandparents were told we were asked to go but we said we were too busy and to not to mention it to us. Except FIL called my DH the next day annoyed that we didn't make the effort! They know we know now and know we are upset, no messages from any of them at all.

It's by far not the first time either, often they arrange lovely little family days and don't ask us, so now we are backing right off so as to minimise the damage to our children, who have been really upset to keep missing out and are becoming more aware as they get older. And the only reason they know they are missing out is because FIL is constantly mentioning the meet ups in front of them. It really sucks and I completely sympathise as I know exactly how crappy it makes you feel 😓I'm glad you've reached out to your siblings though and they acknowledge it was thoughtless, hopefully they will think to invite you next time.

I would be hurt by this . I remember things from the past where my Mum ,who lived with me, said I was a lot of trouble when I was young ( i dont think i was ). Then praised sister for all her good qualities . This was in public at a family do . I understand you'd be upset by this and it's hard to put it behind you . Maybe speak to your siblings and tell them you're upset .

Kindly, OP, are you also feeling other emotions, maybe some depression? Would some therapy be helpful?

Glad you reached out and have a plan to see S3.

I was referring to her saying she was feeling emotional and entertaining kids all weekend as a divorced single mum.

But I am a nice person. You are not.

It does sound a bit thoughtless and the kind of thing sadly OP, many people experience in their families. I am the black sheep in mine and get along ok with everyone but my siblings who have no partners or children are a close unit with my parents and they socialise together a lot more. I am always left out.

I have a DH and DC and am a real oddball because of this.

When I read things like this topic it makes me feel sad for poster, only because it must be so out of the blue to suddenly be in this scenario and to write about it. For many it is just a typical family dynamic to be left out (and to get an apology, would never would happen). It is low on the richter scale in some ways (as you know not to expect better behaviour).

It sounds as though you have a healthy dynamic with family acknowledging the hurt and all of you moving forward positively 💐

Yup!
I’d be gutted if my siblings and parents excluded me like this.
of course people can meet up without me, but if the whole family were catching up and only I wasn’t there, then yeah I’d be really hurt

I'm one of 6,I don't think I would be. Various combinations of us meet up to do different things at different times. We don't live in the same city, and don't feel that we need to inform each other if we happen to be in each other's city. We all get on very well and are close. Perhaps the amount of us makes thus easier, I don't know.

“Our kids are same ish ages, 2 of mine can be tricky…”

This might’ve tipped the balance. I know this affects the dynamics of my DB’s three adult children meeting up. That, and weird anti social partners. No-one wants either of that spoiling a spontaneous afternoon walk.

A tough time are you serious a cancer diagnosis is a tough time your brothers nipping out for a dog walk isnt.

It’s a bit sneaky tbf, I think it would piss me off. Knowing I wasn’t invited would set my gears into overthinking motion.

in our family, it’s so hard to get everyone together at one time, we just announce events and if you can make it, then great, if you can’t we’ll see you at the next one. That way no one is obliged and no one is left out, it’s just a sort of open invitation. My brother will tell you he’s never invited but we literally tell him everything and he’s just hardly ever around except for Easter and Christmas.

I'd be very upset about this yes.

I’d be fine with this. I had lunch with one sister and my parents on Friday. If you’re desperate to see siblings, initiate things.

YANBU. That's very hurtful. I'm so sorry, OP. It's horrible feeling excluded.

Yes I'd be upset, I need to know why .
Do you all get along ok why is sibling 3 not that far away but uses the excuse they are super busy .
Maybe more to it on sibling 3 side.

Totally bizarre. Was it last minute? Did they think it would inconvenience you?

I mean it’s difficult to think of a credible excuse.

I'd be put out, was it planned or did it just evolve?
Think they should have sent you a text to invite you

I’m one of three and I’d be relieved that I wasn’t invited.

Id actually assume they both thought the other had invited me or something tbh in that scenario. Id expect them to therefore be apologetic/mortified and I would go over if free, yes.

Have you actually asked them what's gone on? Seems odd you can't talk about this honestly if you're all as close as you say.